Really quitting. Not making this up.

I have been an ABDL since i was 12 years old. I have attempted to quit probably more times than i can count now that im about 29 years old. I have a wife who loves me enough to accept me, and to help me find a better way than this.

I have been told since day 1 that quitting is impossible, and that embracing it is the best thing to do. There just has to be a better way than this. Im sorry if i have offended anyone, I really am. I understand alot of what you are feeling when indulging in ABDL behavior, and you likely will be able to level with me as well. I plan to go get professional help, and to make a very real attempt at doing something about this.

Tonight I approached my wife with a diaper on. She has known for sometime about it. I told her, "Im sorry. I cant help it." She lovingly said that its ok. I knew she wasnt comfortable with it. She responded in the way someone who legitimately loves me would, did research in an attempt to find out more. She wanted to help me, so she went to professional resources. I do this, and even feel happy for a moment. But then i get to a point to where i hate myself, (not enough to inflict self harm of any kind but still...)

Should we really be embracing this? Please understand again that this isnt meant to offend. If you do plan to respond, please dont judge. Understand that i have been told 100 times over to embrace it. I feel like its close minded to assume that this is the only way.

Understand where my feelings are for everyone with ABDL feelings. I have a tremendous love for the people of this community, as we share the same struggle. You all likely have felt a self hate for yourself like i do now. Believe me when i have no intention or desire of any kind to offend. There just has to be a better way to be happy than this.

I personally would never say it is impossible.

First off, I don't think too many things are impossible.

Second, it's very difficult to come up with valid statistics for this to compare with. Sure most of the people on ADISC say they have tried and were not able to quit but would we know if people did? That is, if a person on ADISC quit, would they come back here and tell us or just never come back?

I also think a lot of this depends on just how strong your desires are: both for the ABDL aspect and the determination to quit. Or to be more precise, the ratio between the two opposing sides.

The bottom line is that I believe you will have a difficult time in giving this up. You may be able to go a week, a month, a year or several years but at some point, I would expect the desires to come raging back.

I have a couple of questions, that if you are willing to answer, may help us provide a better answer.

Do you diaper up a lot or rarely? When you do, do you do it for an hour or for a day? Do you do it privately or with your wife?

If you think you can overcome this, and you really want to, go for it. It sounds like you have a very supportive wife and a loving relationship. That is a huge key towards you being successful. Stay honest with her and yourself and give it your all. Please keep in touch with us through the process. For people seeking a way out, you may be a guide!

Good luck if it's you ambition to do so, having tried more time then I care to count in the past and wasting a significant amount of diapers, its not something you can just stop permanently without it coming back like any other craving... That said this is your first post on this website, I have to ask, why did you join exactly? Seems odd you feel compelled to share this decision with strangers, and it's hard not to feel you yourself are being judgmental of this interest with the way some of your sentences come accross.

Should we really be embracing this? Please understand again that this isnt meant to offend.

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This site is about embracing it... if you don't feel this way why did you join? This is what I mean, you aren't looking for support in wearing diapers but rather wish to give them up. Why then pose this question? It seriously comes across as trying to attempt to cause unease in people with their lifestyle.

If you do plan to respond, please dont judge. Understand that i have been told 100 times over to embrace it. I feel like its close minded to assume that this is the only way.

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No one is saying it's the only way but this site is not about criticizing this way of life but embracing it, no one here will tell you not to quit, just warn you it's a hard thing to do and many who have tried have failed, and if you really don't want to continue with diapers, coming here is alot like an alcoholic looking to quit drinking going to a bar to announce it.

You all likely have felt a self hate for yourself like i do now. Believe me when i have no intention or desire of any kind to offend.

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Seriously how is this supposed to be interpreted positively by anyone here? It basically feels like you are trying to stir self doubt and pain about wanting to wear diapers, and remind people of guilty feelings. Maybe you're hoping others will join you in giving it up? That is not what this site is about though so if you really have no interest in diapers, you're probably not going to find any real help from people interested in quitting here.

There just has to be a better way to be happy than this.

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Maybe there is for you, but we are all different so there might not be for me or other people here. Some people here also have incontinence so diapers aren't really a choice. You do have a choice though and as you have already made it, this isn't exactly the place thats going to help you seek what you want.

we share the same struggle.

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You choose to struggle, this site is about overcoming the struggle and embracing the desire.

my family knows I like to wear diapers and every chance they get they are trying to get me to quite. I cant. I always feel ebrassed and shame and crying abit when they do that. they say just stop it throw in the garbage and get a girlfriend and do everything natural with her and move on . which gets me worried about getting a girl and she finds it or I tell her and I have heard that if she truly loves me she will accept if not move to the next girl so any advice add ons

rennecfox said:

Good luck if it's you ambition to do so, having tried more time then I care to count in the past and wasting a significant amount of diapers, its not something you can just stop permanently without it coming back like any other craving... That said this is your first post on this website, I have to ask, why did you join exactly? Seems odd you feel compelled to share this decision with strangers, and it's hard not to feel you yourself are being judgmental of this interest with the way some of your sentences come accross.


This site is about embracing it... if you don't feel this way why did you join? This is what I mean, you aren't looking for support in wearing diapers but rather wish to give them up. Why then pose this question? It seriously comes across as trying to attempt to cause unease in people with their lifestyle.



No one is saying it's the only way but this site is not about criticizing this way of life but embracing it, no one here will tell you not to quit, just warn you it's a hard thing to do and many who have tried have failed, and if you really don't want to continue with diapers, coming here is alot like an alcoholic looking to quit drinking going to a bar to announce it.



Seriously how is this supposed to be interpreted positively by anyone here? It basically feels like you are trying to stir self doubt and pain about wanting to wear diapers, and remind people of guilty feelings. Maybe you're hoping others will join you in giving it up? That is not what this site is about though so if you really have no interest in diapers, you're probably not going to find any real help from people interested in quitting here.



Maybe there is for you, but we are all different so there might not be for me or other people here. Some people here also have incontinence so diapers aren't really a choice. You do have a choice though and as you have already made it, this isn't exactly the place thats going to help you seek what you want.



You choose to struggle, this site is about overcoming the struggle and embracing the desire.

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I was having the same thought, that it seems... weird to join a diaper-support group and make your first post about quitting diapers.

To the OP: rennecfox has some valid points. You say there must be ''something better'' out there besides diapers, but would exactly would that be? If diapers are a comfort mechanism for you, some less-than-healthful habit like alcohol or smoking? When you think of diapers as simply an absorbent undergarment, why do they look so bad?

I've been a DL for most of my life - about 20 years now. I see absolutely no point in trying to quit a harmless habit that is emotionally comforting and sexually fulfilling. I guess I don't quite understand why some people struggle so much with being ''different''. Everyone is different in their own way, because we are humans and not robots. Some people like bondage with their sex, some people like to unwind with a book. Yes, those are more common than diapers, but just because something's less common doesn't make it any less valid.

Take a look around this site: dozens of ab/dl's who manage to carry on with life secure and happy in their identity. Trying to quit is definitely your choice to make - but why submit yourself to the rockiest, hardest path if you don't have to?

For what its worth, thank you guys. I dont know that ill ever not be an abdl. But i did have a rough moment there. And someone made the point of drugs and alcohol, and though weve heard it a few times it was good to be reminded. Wearing a diaper has a sort of stress release attached. I even feel somewhat wild doing so.

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Makena43...I know your worry. But you will get through it. With any luck the girl you ask out and tell might even like it.

Your user name, and admitting you've tried but failed to quit, is proof enough this is a compulsory part of who you are. You can't just quit being who you are either any more than a transgender or gay person can. And they have tried too, just as you have.

The very fact you haven't accepted this is the reason you are still experiencing the binge purge cycle (and you are in the middle of a big purge right now).

If you really want to start feeling better about yourself, then you need to learn to accept yourself for who you are. This part isn't easy though, and can take years to fully realise. Your ownly other choice is to keep denying it and keep going through the binge purge cycle filled with hate and loathing. Your choice.

So the professional sources your wife went to and had you go to, were they to help with dealing with the diaper wearing or stop? What did the people you interacted with there suggest?

MailCat581 said:

I tried to quit wearing diapers but couldn't because of my incontinence. I have to wear them to bed for bedwetting and I have had really close calls in trying to make it to the bathroom. The other night at work was the closest I have came without having an accident. I rushed 6 plights if stairs and clear across the warehouse to the bathroom and made it just in the nick of time. I talked with my doctor and told him that my urges to go are getting more frequent which he said would happen eventually. He recommended that I once again that I continue to wear my diapers all the time to be on the safe side. He knows that I do not like wearing them. I told him I didn't like wearing them. I wear tape-on diapers most of the time and I am going to ask him if there is a super absorbent pull-on that I can get to wear to work.

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If your problem is flooding with a complete emptying of a full or even half full bladder, then no. Pullups are made for dribbling or light stress incontinence. They are not intended to full wettings.

You will need tape style diapers. However, depending on your severity you might be able to get away with cloth like disposables. I'd recommend you try those before attempting to go with pullups.

MailCat581 said:

I tried to quit wearing diapers but couldn't because of my incontinence. I have to wear them to bed for bedwetting and I have had really close calls in trying to make it to the bathroom. The other night at work was the closest I have came without having an accident. I rushed 6 plights if stairs and clear across the warehouse to the bathroom and made it just in the nick of time. I talked with my doctor and told him that my urges to go are getting more frequent which he said would happen eventually. He recommended that I once again that I continue to wear my diapers all the time to be on the safe side. He knows that I do not like wearing them. I told him I didn't like wearing them. I wear tape-on diapers most of the time and I am going to ask him if there is a super absorbent pull-on that I can get to wear to work.

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The problem with pullon and being male is its super crucial to be able to get them snug and almost impossible to get a good fit with pullups. Also most doctors don't have the best advice concerning adult products due to usually trying everything else first, you could also possibly try a pad and pant system. Yeah diapers aren't always fun to have to wear, but having an accident without them makes the idea of not wearing terryfying

MailCat581 said:

Fully agree; I don't like pad and pant systems. They usually don't work for me because I can't find a proper fitting one. I work 12 hour shifts with a 30 minute lunch break. I guess I'll have to make due with my tape-on diapers (ABU Preschool for work) until I can find something that will work.

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http://www.northshorecare.com/liner...-Pl9mjDK9yHbhRM3Gwk5VvzTZxoCzoDw_wcB#981=9159

I'm talking like a mesh pant designed to hug the wearers thighs, that said not the most comfortable thing to wear especially if you need a thicker pad

MailCat581 said:

I would need a thicker pad or just keep wearing the diapers because when I do have an accident it isn't little; it's the full deal. Once it occurs it doesn't stop and is never little so therefore I am better off wearing something with heavy to complete protection. Thanks for looking out though and suggesting the product.

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Yeah my advice would be stick with a diaper, its going to be the simplest method.

I dont understand why you (and others) preach the whole "quitting" idea on here. No matter how you say it, "this isnt meant to offend", kinda aims that way tbh. Its like saying to gay or lesbian people: "should we really be embracing this"? You can do whatever you want, but ya, if diapers make you happy then you SHOULD be embracing it. All in moderation obviously. I couldn't and will most likely never quit for many reasons. And one of those reasons is because the desire is just too strong for me. I start to go mental with being away from diapers for more than a week or two.

ryan2127 said:

I dont understand why you (and others) preach the whole "quitting" idea on here. No matter how you say it, "this isnt meant to offend", kinda aims that way tbh. Its like saying to gay or lesbian people: "should we really be embracing this"? You can do whatever you want, but ya, if diapers make you happy then you SHOULD be embracing it. All in moderation obviously. I couldn't and will most likely never quit for many reasons. And one of those reasons is because the desire is just too strong for me. I start to go mental with being away from diapers for more than a week or two.

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Thats what I'm not getting, they actively sought out this community when they claim to be not interested to continuing with diapers. That means a few possibilities:

Possibility One They really don't want to quit and are really hoping someone will talk them out of it here. Judging by their reaction so far I think thats the most likely (Coming back, mentioning a moment of weakness)

Possibility Two They don't want to quit alone. They came here hoping someone else is on the edge like this with the interest and will possibly join them quitting.

Possibility Three They are here to stir things up and want some topic of high tension for this forum that won't get immediately locked.

paddedabdl323 said:

Should we really be embracing this? Please understand again that this isnt meant to offend. If you do plan to respond, please dont judge. Understand that i have been told 100 times over to embrace it. I feel like its close minded to assume that this is the only way.
....You all likely have felt a self hate for yourself like i do now. Believe me when i have no intention or desire of any kind to offend. There just has to be a better way to be happy than this.

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I haven't read the whole thread so if this has already been said, sorry.

A couple observations.

My therapist (I've been in professional therapy for years - very often directly related to processing ABDL) talks with me about deconstructive vs constructive reactions to triggers, stress, situations, etc. There are circumstances in which Abdl behavior is probably deconstructive - and situations in which it is not.

My therapist would say that if I'm experiencing a lot of shame and self hate around it - that that might be a sign that it's a deconstructive mechanism. However - if it's possible to change the beliefs around that reaction, and thus yield something different than shame, then it might actually turn out to be useful. This is the work many of us on here have done - tried to figure out how to accept ourselves and shuffle off the shame.

However, I also think that certain life circumstances and also make Abdl behavior deconstructive, even if there isn't any internal shame attached. A marriage/partnership is kind of the classic example here. If a certain behavior, benign even, is threatening to destroy a beloved relationship, that behavior might be judged as deconstructive. Sure, the non-Abdl partner could do some personal work to find a way to accept it, but it might be impossible.

It's in these senses - deconstructive/constructive - that the majority of my therapists have met me with and discussed the issue. Only those (2) with conservative moral systems tried to change the habit just a priori - because they saw it as a moral violation regardless if it was deconstructive or not. I'm at the place now where I'm doing similar wrestling. I still do feel shame from time to time. But I also feel happier overall than when I was battling it. And in my case there are no external factors that are giving me negative consequences when I am in Abdl behavior. So it's tough, but seemingly the best path is to find acceptance and use in private, mitigating potentially deconstructive fallout.

Maybe some of this way of thinking is helpful - maybe just confusing I don't know. Cheers to you if you can get rid of it or replace it in a heathy way. I sure would rather not have to deal with the impulses, but my life seems to be better when I'm in a normal rhythm and balance than when I'm battling it.



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