Honestly, I think I was just born this way. Maybe it's somewhat related to having a brother 6 years younger than me. I used to play with baby stuff with him. Watch nick jr and playhouse Disney and such. Or maybe that's just a way I masked it.
People used to make fun of me for it. Liking pastels and silly pop music. Having fun. So for a long time I cut off that part of myself. Cloaked it in darkness. Became obsessed with horror and metal and bondage pants. But, as much as those things are a part of me, they aren't all of me. Only the past few years have I started opening myself up again. My little side.
Being little is as natural to me as breathing. I never stopped liking cartoons and toys, playing on playgrounds. I could never understand why growing up meant you were supposed to give it up. "Outgrow" it. I still have a hard time understanding the adult world, though being little makes me feel like I can function in it better. It does take away some of the stress. Makes me feel a little more free, more alive. I'm sure people can see it in me, they always think I'm younger than I am. And my family still babies me sometimes. Ultimately it's just who I am. And it helps me deal with the stress of being an adult. It can make me feel okay when my depression and anxiety tell me I'm not. It helps me remember to breathe and that the world isn't always bad.