I agree with the comments suggesting it's not something you'd wish for.
I've had OAB for around 2 years now; maybe a bit longer I've kind of lost track a bit! What does it feel like? It's difficult to articulate as it's a strange feeling; you can feel your bladder twitch and tingle a bit; and at that point you hope you're wearing some protection. You've little chance of stopping it from starting; though you can sometimes stem the flow shortly afterwards. In my case most of my bladder has been emptied by the time I feel like I've grabbed control again. As time goes on that control is reducing.
When it first happened I was mortified; I was at work and it was towards the end of the day; I'd been holding off having a wee to get something finished before shutting down the computer and I was going to go to the toilet on the way back the car; then I just had this uncontrollable urge. I had to wait for everyone else to go and thankfully my trousers were black. I gingerly walked back to my car feeling cold and disgusting.
I turned up at home and chucked everything in the washer and just hoped it was a one off. I'd drunk a lot of coffee that day. It wasn't a one off though. Some days later, it happened again on the drive home. Over the next few weeks I'd have a handful more accidents. Tried medication. Had some scans / tests. Found the medication gave me side effects; and I weighed up whether feeling completely grim generally from the meds was worse or better than changing my style of underwear. The logic I ended up using was that the meds weren't completely 100% stopping my accidents anyway; the frequency went down; but I'd still be caught off guard on occasion; and so I was still needing to wear protection anyway; so I had the same costs for protection plus the cost of the meds plus I was feeling awful. So I stopped the meds.
Hardest thing for me about this whole thing? Telling my wife I'd had accidents after the first few times it happened. I'd just concealed it. It wasn't telling the doctor that made me want to crawl under a rock. It was telling my wife. Don't get me wrong she was supportive; made sure I didn't put seeing the doctor off; she was more worried that I got checked out for any underlying cause. On top of this though, the other thing that made me want a hole to open and swallow me up was wearing protection around my wife. I got some pads and fixation pants at first. I was new to all this and I hadn't found sites like this one to "lurk" on and digest other people's experiences. So initially I went for pads. My accidents were beyond the capabilities of a "Tena Men" insert for my boxer shorts. I felt so conscious. I would change in a different room. I'd scurry into bed hoping she wouldn't see. Again, she never said or did anything to make me feel awkward. It's just not something you feel particularly attractive in. Then, after a few weeks of wearing pads (and continuing to have accidents) I found that whilst they may work well for dribbles, minor leaks or short bursts; if my bladder was going to have a proper strop, then they just weren't secure enough and they leaked. Or moved around and didn't stay put. So my confidence wearing them was nil.
Whilst I briefly tried pull up style briefs I pretty much skipped that stage; without being rude to anyone who likes wearing them, they felt like grandma pants; all ruffled. Not really "man friendly" I felt.
I've probably gone on the same journey as a lot of folks here and tried everything, every style, brand, absorbency, colour, shape ... some leak, some sag, some fall apart, some have bad tabs, some give you rashes, some are cheap, some are expensive, some are plastic, some are like cloth ... lol ... and as my OAB never rests ... some work at night and keep the bed dry, and some are absolutely bloody useless lol to this day I do not know why diapers do not have way more padding up the front and sides.
So I've now settled on a particular couple of brands of diaper that I feel confident in. I've found a wardrobe of tshirt onesies that keeps everything concealed; and whilst I don't make a point of flashing diapers at my wife, I'm past the embarrassment stage as ultimately I need them and if she catches a glimpse, oh well. We still have cuddles in bed diaper or no diaper. Nothing there has changed. I would say that the more amorous side of our relationship has tailed off a bit; likely as the spontaneity isn't so easy to do. (Hold on - let me just nip off for a few minutes to clean up in the bathroom first lol).
For me, some days I don't have it so bad; if I'm lucky a day or two may pass without anything happening that I don't control. But then other times, my bladder just spasms and makes its own mind up when and where it's going to do its thing. Then there's the guilty bit of me ... (mikejames has alluded to this in his post above) ... by the time you get the urge, go to the toilet, undo your diaper, do your thing, tape it all back up ... dammit - the tape's not as sticky second time round, or the second fixation hasn't stuck as well; or the whole thing has just lost its shape; or if it's an expensive diaper and you had an accident earlier, dropping the diaper and pulling it back up again makes all the padding fall down to the crotch. ARGH. Given the price of each diaper I have to say I've started to perhaps use them as much out of my own choice as I am forced to use them. Not every time. But it does happen. Especially at night time.
I tend to wear a really absorbent diaper so that I don't need to change when I'm out and about; though I have sometimes changed if I notice a smell; or if I lose confidence in the capacity of the thing. Changing is a major pain; if at work, you've got to pick up your bag of stuff and take it to the loo with you, which looks very odd when you do that mid-morning or mid-afternoon. On the way home, or to lunch, yes, you might take a bag. But men aren't women, it's unlikely I'm changing a sanitary item; so it can be very hard to be discrete. Then there's disposing of the thing; I tend to double bag it (something opaque) then drop it in the bin and bury it under some paper towels; but I don't find our toilets at work geared up for changing. Plus there's the noise of changing; diapers make a noise; plastic or textile; tearing four tabs open and sticking them on (or untaping four tabs to change) makes a unique noise - so having the toilets empty (or flushing the toilet to mask the noise) is a thing ...
So what's reality like in summary?
I'd rather have my control back.
I'd rather not be spending £hundreds a year on diapers - probably £50-£60/month spent at the moment.
I'd rather not need a special wardrobe or onesies and tshirts to keep everything concealed.
I'd rather not have to carry spare stuff with me everywhere.
I'd rather not have to change in dirty public toilets.
I'd rather not worry whether colleagues or people I know know more than they let on ...
However, given the cards I've been dealt; it could be worse; I've only got my bladder to worry about and I think those on here who deal with and manage bowel conditions too have a much harder time.
Sorry for the essay post. Kind of new here still