The Diaper Taboo

I got to have long lived Ab relationships with two wives. The second was a sissy dream come true. She really got into it. So much so that when difficulties with an adult daughter of hers made staying in our marriage impossible, that she had no worries about finding another man but was really going to miss her baby girl.
I started with this because I felt morally obligated to talk to both of them about this before we married. I know exactly what we are, but I did not want to chance them taking it as vile and immoral after they already said I do. The speaking to them was far more difficult for me than for them. Turns out woman have a great deal of acceptance when they are treated honorably. This also made me relive some of the ugly.
We never chose this for ourselves. Not one of us looked at a list of fetishes and said, "Diapers. Yep. That will make me popular with more than just the ladies" What followed for me were years of secrecy and hiding. Feeling shame for something I had no part in. Classmates were coming out as gay and got applause. I knew nobody would be clapping for me if I wore Pampers to school.
And after all these years and two awesome experiences being open to not DLs, it strikes me how pathetic that situation was. That I had to fear getting c aught. Felt like a bad person often. And it was only a diaper. No harm. No damage. But I believe I would have been an outcast if it were n]known to the people around me. I am a sissy on top of it. Who would have guessed? Turns out it is much more socially acceptable for a man to wear panties then a diaper.
If you want to share anything about this. Maybe just vent a little of that residual frustration, feel free.

I 10000000000000000% agree with this and I agree with the frustration of me and the fear of getting caught. It is so annoying and frustrating. If one could come out without social stigma I would in a heartbeat, but I can't. still I have at least you guys.

Yep that's exactly why I hate it when even people on this site say "having a diaper fetish and coming out is nothing like being gay" well actually it is very much like it. I had these desires since as far back as preschool just like many homosexuals have had their desires since they can remember. I couldn't live my life the way I wanted to because it is taboo and same with homosexuals. I still can't go down to the shops to buy nappies without a fear of being teased or given weird looks or running into people I know. Because society doesn't see it as acceptable it therefore impacts my state of mind, self-confidence and ability to pursue my desires to wear that I never asked for in the first place. I'll constantly be at war with myself over whether it's "worth the risk" to buy nappies as if it's like an illegal drug when it's not. The irony is I think sometimes I would be more comfortable buying illegal drugs than nappies because now days that seems to be commonplace and "normal" for people to be doing drugs. If I could "come out" I would. I hate having to think of fabricated lies in case people see me buying nappies and having this mental war inside my mind all the time.

SweetPrincess said:

Yep that's exactly why I hate it when even people on this site say "having a diaper fetish and coming out is nothing like being gay" well actually it is very much like it.

Click to expand...

Having all of our issues is absolutely super stressful, and is very much like like any miss-understood, rejected minority or non-conformity in society. We all deal with the fear of discovery, rejection, and there's nothings as heavy as constant stress. For those of us who have the stress of our ... uniqueness ... compounded by non-heteronormativeness, non-neurotypicalness, physical disability, or simply lack of resources, those stresses are horrifyingly destructive and can totally consume lives...

I think you're right. Recognizing other's sufferings doesn't minimize ours. It's not a pie where there's only so many slices to go around. I have this secret I share/burden my wife with, and it's a literal drag on our time, relationship, finances, etc.

Still I'm also keenly aware of the fact that because we're in a hetro relationship I can share healthcare and life insurance with my partner, while in many places others can't. I can go out in public and hold hands, and have her kiss me, and while she can't call me her "little guy" in public, she can pull my head to rest against her shoulder when we're at the movies or at the beach and folks think it's cute or silly. Those are the kinds of things that can get a gay couple fired, or attacked in many places. So I also feel lucky....

What's the Martin Luther King quote? "We all came here in different ships, but now we're all in the same boat."?
I don't think it's helpful to try and compare our sufferings ... but it is helpful for us all to have empathy with each other for our common rejection.

SweetPrincess said:

Yep that's exactly why I hate it when even people on this site say "having a diaper fetish and coming out is nothing like being gay" well actually it is very much like it.

Click to expand...

The reason it is often said is because it's true. It's not exactly the same thing. It's similar, but not the same. There isn't actually any sort of requirement for anyone to come out to the public as AB/DL. I doubt even if many could, it wouldn't change a whole lot in their lives as most of being AB/DL is a private thing. It's something that is typically behind closed doors. I think the only time one needs to come out as an AB/DL is while dating, and I certainly advise people to do so early on. The other exception might be with people you are living with if there isn't a whole lot of privacy that allows for it to be entirely private.

The question is, even if you could tell the public and they accepted it, what exactly would change? It's not like that will all of a sudden make it acceptable to walk around in baby clothing. I mean, I suppose you can if you don't mind the stares, but you can technically even do that now. But truthfully, I don't even get why anyone would want to bring something like this so directly out in the public.

Now, on the other hand, being gay isn't exactly something you can just hide. When you hide it, we are talking about hiding who you are almost entirely. Hiding it means you can't even date because no one knows you are even gay. It's not like a guy dates another guy and then they come out. The coming out is required before it to even get in the relationship, to begin with. Also, once you are dating the same sex unless you want to hide the person you love in your house and never let them out, people are going to know no matter how much you want it to remain hidden. This means you don't even have the choice to hide it if you want to date someone.

Many in the LGBT community have been oppressed and discriminated against. While AB/DL is certainly similar and would similarly bring on the same fate if it was public, the difference is ... AB/DL doesn't require to be in the public. It's not something necessary in order to do AB/DL things.

If I could "come out" I would. I hate having to think of fabricated lies in case people see me buying nappies and having this mental war inside my mind all the time.

Click to expand...

You can come out. There is nothing preventing you to.
It's not like coming out gay or transgender is any easier, yet we do it anyway.

Not everyone gets congratulated for coming out, just so you are aware. I would say the opposite happens more often. Also while they may get claps, they also get tons of hate.

MarchinBunny said:

The reason it is often said is because it's true. It's not exactly the same thing. It's similar, but not the same.

Click to expand...

I'd agree with you because that's exactly what I said . I hate it when people say they are "nothing" alike because they are similar, which is what I said and I never actually said they were the exact same thing. My issue is when people (sometimes even here) basically tell us to shut up as if our issue of diaper wearing, AB side etc is nothing compared to being gay. Because it's actually pretty similar not the exact same but similar. Of course there are differences being which you've stated but basically my point was that just because they're not the exact same it doesn't mean our lives aren't still affected in similar ways because of our abnormal desires. Which you've already said anyway, so nothing really else to say on that.

As for coming out I could I suppose but it's not really practical like you said we don't need to "come out" which is what causes that mind war I mentioned. For trans or gays they will need to come out eventually, no choice in that. And so for that reason there is something preventing us from "coming out" which is because we don't need to. I am not saying being DL or Ab is harder than being gay I am just pointing out the differences.

SweetPrincess said:

I'd agree with you because that's exactly what I said . I hate it when people say they are "nothing" alike because they are similar, which is what I said and I never actually said they were the exact same thing. My issue is when people (sometimes even here) basically tell us to shut up as if our issue of diaper wearing, AB side etc is nothing compared to being gay. Because it's actually pretty similar not the exact same but similar. Of course there are differences being which you've stated but basically my point was that just because they're not the exact same it doesn't mean our lives aren't still affected in similar ways because of our abnormal desires. Which you've already said anyway, so nothing really else to say on that.

As for coming out I could I suppose but it's not really practical like you said we don't need to "come out" which is what causes that mind war I mentioned. For trans or gays they will need to come out eventually, no choice in that. I am not saying being DL or Ab is harder than being gay I am just pointing out the differences. There's no need for us to "come out".

Click to expand...

Ahh ok, you are right. You did say that. Sorry =^.^;=.
But ya, I certainly agree with you too, saying it's nothing alike would certainly be wrong. There are actually quite a bit of simularties.

MarchinBunny said:

Ahh ok, you are right. You did say that. Sorry =^.^;=.
But ya, I certainly agree with you too, saying it's nothing alike would certainly be wrong. There are actually quite a bit of simularties.

Click to expand...

All good

My experience with the joys of diapers when I was around four or five. That was 1971-72. I only knew three things at that time. I had a desire to wear diapers. Instinctively knew this was something to speak to no one about. That there was something very wrong with me. I was a child with a child's perception and with a secret I could discuss with no one. The things I started to believe about myself weren't nice and their was no one to correct that view. This simply snowballed as I withdrew from many social activities. I knew something was very wrong with me and did not want to spend great amounts of time around others so they didn't realize how sic I was. Keep in mind I had no conception of sexuality and certainly no idea of fetishes. Keeping to myself and avoiding close relationships hampered my learning curve on sexuality. My first orgasm came as a surprise. I did not know that anything other than pee came out of that thing! Another secret learned which led to some other misconceptions.
The damage continued to accrue. Fate had another trick in store for me. These misconceptions of mine led me to a lifestyle outside what I was best suited for. I was born an intellectual but chose to be a soldier. By this time I was always choosing the more dangerous and harder paths to prove my manliness. Such a waste that would have been avoided if the internet was common place I the eighties. Make no mistake, I am proud to have served. I simply could have gone further if other roads were walked. See, by the time I enlisted I knew of fetishes but never saw or heard anything about people who were turned on by wearing diapers or, even the more unimaginable disfunction that I had, being excited by being diapered by someone else. It wasn't until the second year of my tour of duty that I found a obscure ad for DPF and learned that I was not some obscene aberration.
I did not have the best first 18 years of my life due to despising myself and my "sickness" for a total lack of information.The only true treasure I took away from the whole ordeal is acceptance of others and a deep empathy. Younger people are so much more fortunate today. There is greater acceptance of oddity and an incredible amount of information available to them. Just don't get too cocky younger generation. Remember, I got to wear real Pampers!