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Thread: dating?

  1. #1

    Default dating?

    Does anyone know of any new reliable abdl dating sites that have a good reputation and aren't just full of people with commercial interests? Has the dating scene changed much?


  2. #2

    Default

    fetlife-its where I got in touch with my girlfriend
    Last edited by MommyandMattling; 12-Jan-2017 at 16:47.

  3. #3

    Default

    Not really, but I can tell you that looking for a date this way will not work in your favor.

    By going to abdl dating sites you are literally looking for someone who likes diapers first, then likes you second. The first part will severely reduce your dating pool. (Though this does still happen)

    Instead, you will have a much better chance of finding someone if you date normally first, then find out if they like you in diapers. You will have a much larger dating pool to draw from this way, and will increase your odds of actually finding some.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo View Post
    Not really, but I can tell you that looking for a date this way will not work in your favor.

    By going to abdl dating sites you are literally looking for someone who likes diapers first, then likes you second. The first part will severely reduce your dating pool. (Though this does still happen)

    Instead, you will have a much better chance of finding someone if you date normally first, then find out if they like you in diapers. You will have a much larger dating pool to draw from this way, and will increase your odds of actually finding some.
    I think this is really good advise. I met my wife first and didn't come out about diapers until years after we were married. She was very accepting because we love each other unconditionally. Ironically, loving each other unconditionally is usually in the marriage vows.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I think this is really good advise. I met my wife first and didn't come out about diapers until years after we were married. She was very accepting because we love each other unconditionally. Ironically, loving each other unconditionally is usually in the marriage vows.
    This isn't the way I would recommend to do it. I would advise people mention the whole diaper thing long before years pass by XD. While it can end up well, like it did for you ... it can also totally go the other way. A relationship will be less stressful when you don't need to hide something, espeically for some where the AB/DL thing is a pretty large factor in their life.

    Besides that, I do entirely agree with Slomo as well. AB/DL dating sites are not really the best place to go to look for a partner when it comes to actually finding someone. But, I do think it's ok to join the site at the very least as long as you are not limiting yourself to that site alone. I think another issue about dating sites like fetlife is many people on there are fairly sexual, and thus I feel like that is what they are going to be expecting ... which means the relationship could turn into something more on the sexual side than relationship side of things. You have to be pretty careful and pretty clear on what you are looking for.

  6. #6

    Default

    Well, I for one would like to share my thoughts that there is a bit of good advice on both sides here. First of all, don't just seek out someone who may share in your ABDL interests.

    There is so much more to life than being ABDL!! What about your other interests? Hobbies? Likes, Dislikes? Being ABDL is only one component of who you are and looking solely on ABDL sites for someone is not a perfect solution or recommendation. Rather, I would recommend that you look at a variety of ways to meet someone.

    Your life will never be just about being ABDL. Rather, that is one component of who you are, and I daresay there are a lot of other things that if you want a truly lasting relationship that you need to figure out just what those things are and then seek out opportunities to meet people with similar interests.

    Yet at the same time... DO NOT WAIT FOR A LONG TIME TO SHARE YOUR ABDL INTERESTS WITH SOMEONE WHOM YOU ARE INTERESTED IN WITH A RELATIONSHIP.

    After meeting someone whom you are attracted to and who expressed an attraction in you, I think you should at some point not to far in the relationship share your interests in being ABDL. Don't wait until you are so "infatuated" or "in love" to share this where you think that you can simply give up this part of yourself because you are so in love with them. I have yet to find evidence of anyone who has effectively fully given up this portion of themselves for a partner who finds this offensive or who does not share in a similar interest. Soooo... if you want a lasting relationship, I daresay you need to find someone who will accept you for who you are and while they may not be fully engaging in your ABDL interests, does not find if offensive and loves you for who you are and truly accepts your interests in being ABDL.

    So, my own advice to you is a combination of searching for someone in locations not solely ABDL related, but then before getting too far in the relationship, sharing your ABDL interests and pursuing further relationship building only if that person accepts this part of you.

  7. #7

    Default

    Yes, exactly. I've mentioned this before too, and it's worth repeating. I believe a good time to bring up being abdl is around the third date, sixth at most. (It's kind of like never have sex till the third date too).

    You've got to give potential partners time enough to learn a little about yourself before diving in deep. However, at the same time you don't want to waste too much time with the wrong person. Worse still, be with them after years of holding back.

    Also, I'll repeat how bad it is to actually marry a person before you tell them. Seriously, how can they be expected to know you if they don't know the whole you. Plus, (to me) withholding necessary information like this is no different than lying. How can your partner trust you if you lie to them every day. Worse again if you do it for years.

  8. #8

    Default

    I might add here that I'm not suggesting anyone divulge their diaper fantasies after they're married. I was married in 1973 and that was a very different day and age. Homosexuals were put into mental institutions against their will just because they got "found out". African Americans recently won the right to integrate schools. There was no internet, but there was a lot of hate and violence. I had my life threatened in 1971 just because I had long hair. So divulging that you enjoyed wearing and using diapers and fantasizing about being a baby would usually land you in a mental institution. My mom sent me to one in 1970. It was difficult enough telling my wife before we were married, that I lived an exclusively gay lifestyle all four years of college.

    Part of the problem is that there is almost nothing in our society and more importantly, the media, that depicts how societal fringe people lived in the past. Even now, we have the idiot show, The Real O'Neils showing how much fun a gay high school kid is having in school, being out, a far cry from the kid in the movie, "Moonlight". Acceptance has not come easy: not historically. Those of us who went before all you younger members paid a price for paving the way for the 21st century, and as we all know, it's still far from perfect.

    Yes, you should tell your SO about how you may express yourself sexually, but also expect rejection and having that bit of news circulate among your social group. That's what people do.

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