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Thread: Interfacing with parents

  1. #1

    Default Interfacing with parents

    I feel as if I need to explain a few things here.

    My parents were fairly interesting, from an academic perspective. My father and stepmother were frankly abusive. My mother wasn't abusive, but was generally clueless and basically no help in dealing with the abuse. I had to learn to fend for myself pretty early on.

    I can be somewhat difficult, and even somewhat annoying, as a result of that. I don't care; I'll just run you over if you get in my way. I have to. I don't know how to operate in any other fashion. My parents got quite a challenge from me and they deserved it. In fact they deserved worse than I gave them.

    I apologize to anyone I may have rubbed the wrong way. I'm not really sure how else to explain this. o.o;;; I'm not trying to be difficult. I probably just haven't learned to moderate things...

  2. #2

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    Perhaps I'm not being entirely fair to myself here. I don't think I've left anyone on ADISC feeling "run over"... at least I hope that I haven't... it's more a general observation of how I operate once I "get going"... and I can explain rather concisely why I have had to learn to operate that way in the past.

    I hope it makes sense anyway.

  3. #3

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    Excuse my lack of english vocabulary. English is not my native language. What does the 'run over' means? I don't understand.. how do you operate?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    I feel as if I need to explain a few things here.

    My parents were fairly interesting, from an academic perspective. My father and stepmother were frankly abusive. My mother wasn't abusive, but was generally clueless and basically no help in dealing with the abuse. I had to learn to fend for myself pretty early on.

    I can be somewhat difficult, and even somewhat annoying, as a result of that. I don't care; I'll just run you over if you get in my way. I have to. I don't know how to operate in any other fashion. My parents got quite a challenge from me and they deserved it. In fact they deserved worse than I gave them.

    I apologize to anyone I may have rubbed the wrong way. I'm not really sure how else to explain this. o.o;;; I'm not trying to be difficult. I probably just haven't learned to moderate things...
    Hi, Sappyre,
    I learned a lot about you from some of your recent posts and it has helped me understand you better. You certainly haven't rubbed me the wrong way at all and I enjoy your posts. Coming out of a home with an abusive father, I really do think we bear the scars of our parents' behaviour and it can continue to undermine our confidence long after we left home.

    Explanation appreciated but not necessary. You're doing fine.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by BabyJacob98 View Post
    Excuse my lack of english vocabulary. English is not my native language. What does the 'run over' means? I don't understand.. how do you operate?
    No worries! Umm, I tend to keep going with my point well beyond when it becomes hurtful to the other person. I don't notice, I just keep going. I'm not sure if that explains it or not...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starrunner View Post
    Hi, Sappyre,
    I learned a lot about you from some of your recent posts and it has helped me understand you better. You certainly haven't rubbed me the wrong way at all and I enjoy your posts. Coming out of a home with an abusive father, I really do think we bear the scars of our parents' behaviour and it can continue to undermine our confidence long after we left home.

    Explanation appreciated but not necessary. You're doing fine.
    Thanks, hon. ^^;;;

  6. #6

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    I think you are perfectly fine. I have not felt run over at all. In plus, I am pretty much the same way myself I believe. *hugs*

  7. #7

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    Awww, thank you! *hugs!* I'm glad it hasn't been an issue!

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    Awww, thank you! *hugs!* I'm glad it hasn't been an issue!
    I am sort of glad for the same reason really. I always worry that I may come off wrongly and sometimes I even do unintentionally. I actually do rethink my posts quite often and rewrite them or don't even post them. The kicker is .. the posts I think are fine seem to get me in the most trouble lol. Clearly ... I am terrible at social skills to a pretty crazy degree.

    It sucks though that some people don't understand I am not trying to come off that way.

    It is what it is I suppose. I am just glad there are some people who do actually understand I am not trying to be mean. XD

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarchinBunny View Post
    I am sort of glad for the same reason really. I always worry that I may come off wrongly and sometimes I even do unintentionally. I actually do rethink my posts quite often and rewrite them or don't even post them. The kicker is .. the posts I think are fine seem to get me in the most trouble lol. Clearly ... I am terrible at social skills to a pretty crazy degree.

    It sucks though that some people don't understand I am not trying to come off that way.

    It is what it is I suppose. I am just glad there are some people who do actually understand I am not trying to be mean. XD
    You are hardly alone in that. ^^;; I have to choose my words very carefully, else I'll come across as mean when I don't want to. As you've noted before, I can be quite literal about things... and that sometimes gets me in trouble. My other main issue is that I've had to deal with abusive parents, so I'm not terribly hesitant to wrap someone around the axle, as it were... it's routine to me and I'll just keep going past that, without noticing the damage I am causing. o.o;;

  10. #10

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    Well, you know we're friends and we have a good relationship. I think problems arise because we express ourselves in typed words, rather than face to face conversations. I'm always on late at night, and I'm more tired that my brain realizes. Sometimes I'm not as thorough as I'd like to be. Sometimes I leave something important out. It's part of being human. If we were all great at expressing ourselves, we'd be making millions of dollars from our novels. As it is, I think we do quite well.

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