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Thread: Potty training age?

  1. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by AddyShadows View Post
    and use them or training pants
    *Looks at my signature*

    I know a shot at me when I see one.

    There is a WORLD of difference between I, an adult with a reasonably sound mind, choosing to wear diapers or training pants, and a young child who doesn't want to be potty trained. I can accept the difficulties and responsibilities of my choice and my actions. A five-year-old cannot.

    While some of us diaper folk might sit around and say ''I'd let my kid stay in diapers and train whenever!'', that is not a decision a responsible parent makes. A responsible parent makes choices that are in the best interest of their child. They know, for example, that sending their otherwise healthy, just stubborn, kid to kindergarten in diapers is a poor choice. Not only are they basically marking their kid as a target for teasing and bullying, they're definitely going to raise the eyebrows of the school administration. Unless they have a medical reason, it's probably not going to go over too well.

    Let's face it - unless the world decides diapers are better than toilets, potty training your kid at a reasonable time is the right choice to make. It's not fair to them not to teach them an essential life skill.

  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    Well, but we judge every other aspect of childhood development. We don't let kids choose when it's ok to learn to read, write, or do math. If they don't start walking and talking by certain ages, we worry. If they suck their thumbs, pick their noses, or burp without saying "excuse me", we're immediately there with a lesson or a consequence.

    And really, when a child has learned to speak and has mastered just about every other muscle in his or her body, why should we assume that the sphincter muscles are beyond control? I see potty training "readiness" as an invention--a handy reason that a parent can comfort him or herself with after the child throws a tantrum and refuses to sit on the potty. In reality, though, I think parents of "unready" three- and four-year-olds have simply missed how it is that small children learn. How do they learn to walk? They copy their parents. How do they learn to speak? They copy their parents. How do they learn to use the toilet? Their parents place them on a potty and encourage them to use it. Wait... What?

    Kids are born copy-cats. They're ready to learn this kind of thing from a very early age. We just have to be comfortable modeling it, because there's no surer way to get a toddler to do something than to do it first. If you define potty training as introducing a child to the toilet and telling the child to use it, and if you define readiness as a willingness to follow directions, then yeah, your child is going to be in diapers for quite a while. But that's not on them.
    Let me rephrase what I said then.


    I wasn't attempting to imply it's okay to keep them in diapers till X age. Every child has to potty train eventually, I know that. I was just saying that maybe we shouldn't judge without knowing the entire context of the situation is all. Perhaps the 5 year old was developmentally disabled, we don't know. That's all I'm trying to say.



    They're ready to learn this kind of thing from a very early age. We just have to be comfortable modeling it, because there's no surer way to get a toddler to do something than to do it first. If you define potty training as introducing a child to the toilet and telling the child to use it, and if you define readiness as a willingness to follow directions, then yeah, your child is going to be in diapers for quite a while. But that's not on them
    I define readiness for potty training as them showing interest in the happenings in the bathroom. I'm also well aware that Potty training is a lot more complicated than simply taking their diaper off and sitting them on the toilet till they go.

  3. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by KimbaStarshine View Post
    *Looks at my signature*

    I know a shot at me when I see one.

    There is a WORLD of difference between I, an adult with a reasonably sound mind, choosing to wear diapers or training pants, and a young child who doesn't want to be potty trained. I can accept the difficulties and responsibilities of my choice and my actions. A five-year-old cannot.

    While some of us diaper folk might sit around and say ''I'd let my kid stay in diapers and train whenever!'', that is not a decision a responsible parent makes. A responsible parent makes choices that are in the best interest of their child. They know, for example, that sending their otherwise healthy, just stubborn, kid to kindergarten in diapers is a poor choice. Not only are they basically marking their kid as a target for teasing and bullying, they're definitely going to raise the eyebrows of the school administration. Unless they have a medical reason, it's probably not going to go over too well.

    Let's face it - unless the world decides diapers are better than toilets, potty training your kid at a reasonable time is the right choice to make. It's not fair to them not to teach them an essential life skill.
    It wasn't a shot at you, not everything revolves around you. It was a general statement.

  4. #24

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    Not every child gets good motor control or control of those muscles at the same time. I was one who excelled at mental tasks, but was clumsy (not that great of motor control) and had a hard time potty training, having quite regular accidents during the day and wetting the bed nightly. While my mother wanted me to potty train before three like my sister, it didn't happen until around five for me.

  5. #25

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    It wasn't so much that I thought a 5 year old wearing was incredibly weird, I mean it's a touch unusual but definitely not completely unheard of, but it was more the fact that the boy was wearing a diaper and nothing else, and wasn't at all embarrassed by it. He just walked around watching what I was doing, completely at ease and not bothered.
    When I wore for bed wetting, until aged 10, it was quite normal for me to walk around in a diaper or training pants and plastic panties in front of my parents with no pants on before I went to bed, or first thing in the morning.
    But I would run at the speed of light to quickly put my pyjama pants or something on to cover it should anyone turn up at the house. I always was so aware of being seen by others.
    I always asked mum to go so far as to peg my trainers and plastics on the inside of the clothesline so nobody would see them.

  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wombat View Post
    Saw a five year old in diapers
    okay, got my saw, got a diaper on, where's the kid?

  7. #27

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    Quote Originally Posted by SnowBlitz View Post

    I define readiness for potty training as them showing interest in the happenings in the bathroom.
    Well, and I do too. The question is more about whether that sort of readiness must be waited for or can be created. I definitely believe the latter. It's no coincidence that one of the things many children seem reluctant to do--sit on and use the toilet--is also one of the things adults are very private about, and apprehensive about modeling for their children. That was my point. Children are born copy-cats. They'll be interested in, and hence "ready to do", the things they observe parents, older siblings, and friends doing. Want to potty-train a child? Temporarily set aside some of that bathroom privacy. That works wonders. But many parents are weirded out by the idea of somebody, even their own toddler, seeing them sit on the toilet. Those parents will be waiting longer for "readiness."

  8. #28

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    Ok I was 3 pounds at birth I was ok at nite but day time had lots of trubble feeling I had to go until to late.
    But at that point the pediatric doctor saw no problem.
    Was spanked punished for it.
    Now kids young ones dont care about diapers unless some one points out your deferent some kids dont care about wearing clothing.
    So very understandable he's care free if he has been in them his whole life then its normal.
    He's a kid life is to play and watching explore what's going on.
    You dont live with them you dont know whats going on.
    Some autistic children its very hard to train also .
    We tend to be so prude in the us.

  9. #29

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    Well, and I do too. The question is more about whether that sort of readiness must be waited for or can be created. I definitely believe the latter. It's no coincidence that one of the things many children seem reluctant to do--sit on and use the toilet--is also one of the things adults are very private about, and apprehensive about modeling for their children. That was my point. Children are born copy-cats. They'll be interested in, and hence "ready to do", the things they observe parents, older siblings, and friends doing. Want to potty-train a child? Temporarily set aside some of that bathroom privacy. That works wonders. But many parents are weirded out by the idea of somebody, even their own toddler, seeing them sit on the toilet. Those parents will be waiting longer for "readiness."
    While you can create interest, you can't create readiness. If a child isn't ready to potty train, or their bladder/bowel muscles haven't developed yet, You can model all you want, it's not going to happen. Every child is different. Some children have developmental issues that prevent this. Some children are incontinent and can't be potty trained. Not because they aren't interested or aren't ready, but because it physically can't happen. And trying to force a child to be interested in something that they can't physically do and then making them feel bad because they can't do it is borderline child abuse.

  10. #30

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    Quote Originally Posted by AddyShadows View Post
    While you can create interest, you can't create readiness. If a child isn't ready to potty train, or their bladder/bowel muscles haven't developed yet, You can model all you want, it's not going to happen. Every child is different. Some children have developmental issues that prevent this. Some children are incontinent and can't be potty trained. Not because they aren't interested or aren't ready, but because it physically can't happen. And trying to force a child to be interested in something that they can't physically do and then making them feel bad because they can't do it is borderline child abuse.
    Yes, but three- and four-year-olds, unless they have those developmental issues, can learn to control their eliminations. Practically speaking, potty training difficulties with children in this age group are not about physical inability. They're about interest/willingness.

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