I need some perspective.

Hey everyone. I am new to this. My husband told that he has a diaper loving fetish. I am trying very hard to understand but I am struggling. I don't understand the desire of an adult wearing a diaper. He has told me that it feels good, but I just don't understand wearing a diaper as an adult. Can someone please explain to me the appeal of a diaper as an adult? Maybe it's my background in early childhood and daycare and changing multiple diapers a day that is causing me to have pause. I love my husband very much and just want to understand this and support him. Please help me.

It can often be an underlying need to be loved and/or reduce stress. For some it can be a sexual thing.
Diapers can provide emotional comfort, reduce anxiety, stress reducer, often discrete, convenient, reliable, harmless devious (social taboo) fun, and many more "perks"

I enjoy wearing 24/7. I am steadfast with prompt changes, twice daily showers, and frequent trash disposal so as not to negatively impose on my female companion (aka girlfriend).
I am not a baby, little, adult baby, or otherwise babyfied. I change my own diapers, but have secretly hoped for an occasional diaper change, but still think it would be negatively awkward.
Don't leave him, but hopefully work out a level of trust that you are both comfortable with.
There can be powerful implications when enabled.

It's not a rational feeling, it's like a craving, not something that easily makes sense... For me I think it was dad threatening me when I was little to me in them for running back and forth to the bathroom, kind of think that was what started it

JediMaster88 said:

Hey everyone. I am new to this. My husband told that he has a diaper loving fetish. I am trying very hard to understand but I am struggling. I don't understand the desire of an adult wearing a diaper. He has told me that it feels good, but I just don't understand wearing a diaper as an adult. Can someone please explain to me the appeal of a diaper as an adult? Maybe it's my background in early childhood and daycare and changing multiple diapers a day that is causing me to have pause. I love my husband very much and just want to understand this and support him. Please help me.

Click to expand...

I hope you understand how wonderful you are just for wanting to understand. People like you are out there, but few, and far between. Did he tell you how he identified? (AB, DL, both) I'll post more later. It's, insomnia o'clock in the morning here.

I don't think anyone really understands it. I've never tried explaining this fetish to anyone so I don't even know where to begin. I think the most important thing is that he trusted you enough to tell you about this. That's a really special thing. There are some men here who have been married 20-30 years and never reveal this part of themselves to their spouse. I wish I could be more helpful. There are some good resources in the web that do a better job explaining this fetish and AB/DLism in general. I'd start with the Wikipedia page: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaper_fetishism
and Understanding Infantilism http://understanding.infantilism.org

He is a DL.
How do I deal with this and process it?

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you. I'll look into that.

Some things to consider:

Most often starts in early childhood and since its a deep rooted desire if often stays for a lifetime
A lot more common than you think.
Since hes a DL, like myself, he probably just likes the way they feel on him
You should talk to him when you feel comfortable about it, he might not want you to see him in them at first or ever at all
Try to find ways to make it fit into his life with you in the picture. Dont be overwhelmed by it, its very harmless and really just a different type of underwear

It's a fetish. If you don't get it, you never will. It's like being gay. If you're not gay, you can't really relate to or understand why a gay person would be attracted to the same sex. The best explanation for both is "born this way".

People with fetishes are kind of just wired that way. it's not rational and would be impossible to explain it in a way that would make you "get it". You need to figure out if you can accept it or not. Do you love your husband as the whole person he is, weird quirks and all? Or do you only love who you thought he was before he told you this? You can love him in spite of or despite this OR you can love him even more because you now share an intimate secret. It's a lot to do with perspective. At the end of the day, in the scheme of the whole infinite universe, something as silly as your husband liking diapers is less than meaningless.

For what it's worth I'm not into this fetish. I came here as it was supposedly also an incontinence support site. I also don't "get" what these folks are into (to me diapers are a pain in the butt, a huge inconvenience, extra expense and source of shame and embarrassment), but I don't think it's a big deal or "wrong". I imagine if my wife came home one day and told me she was into this I'd probably think it's kind of funny/silly and wouldn't really care. I'd feel that way with any fetish she told me about so long as it wasn't harmful to anyone.

Hi, thank you for sharing. You've come to the right place.

Many people have already given good advice, but I will add that the goal you should have in mind is not to try to understand the appeal yourself, but to understand that it appeals to your husband whether you or anyone else understands or not. A diaper fetish is compulsive. He most likely doesn't understand why he likes wearing diapers either, but it's the truth whether he hides it from you or not. All in all, your best move is to decide whether or not you are willing to deal with this. If you love your husband, I'd think you'd at least want to try and set up boundaries and rules to make both of you comfortable. Life doesn't really need to change, but you would surely be making his wildest fantasies come true with even the littlest bit of encouragement and harmony with his fetish. I'm speaking from personal experience. Your husband obviously felt the need to tell you, so take into consideration that this isn't easy for him either. There is a way to make both of you happy. Either way, take time to talk about this with open minds. I don't know your husband, but having a diaper fetish doesn't mean he needs need therapy, he isn't a pervert, he doesn't have some criminal sexual interest, and he isn't a creep. You married him, so he must be a good man? (Right? ) Seeing him happy and seeing what that entails should be more of a thought than this ruining a good thing.

(I will say, your husband should have told you this before you were married, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything too bad.)

Good luck, and keep us posted!

Think of what ever turns you on sexually. Do you have any fetishes? Well, a diaper fetish is just like that. Anybody who has a diaper fetish gets turned on by wearing (and often using) a diaper. It's even likely he can't reach climax with them too (or at least thinking about them). This is normal for most any fetish.

Let's just say you have a foot fetish, or leather, or whatever. Would you expect him to fully understand it (probably not) Or would you mostly just hope he understands enough to let you continue on with it (and maybe if you're lucky have him participate).

JediMaster88 said:

He is a DL.
How do I deal with this and process it?

- - - Updated - - -

Thank you. I'll look into that.

Click to expand...

You accept that he really can't change and be happy, so you need to figure out if you can accept him for who he is, my advice talk to him about it

Thank you. We have been talking a lot, right now I just need to digest all of this.. it's a lot to take in. The other day two cases of diapers were delivered and he put one on and removed it in front of me. It's a lot to handle. Maybe if he does it one step at a time I'll slowly become more comfortable...I don't want to sound close minded, it's just so foreign to me and a lot of new information at one time.

You might consider just trying one for yourself, not to use if you dont want too, but maybe just to see the perspective from his side a bit more? you dont even have to do it around him if you dont want too.

I know a few people who felt the same confused, unable to really make sense or make seem real the idea that their significant other would feel this way.


then comes a day they try it themselves and while they may not become fanatics about it, they find its kinda comfy. and taboo and exciting.

JediMaster88 said:

Thank you. We have been talking a lot, right now I just need to digest all of this.. it's a lot to take in. The other day two cases of diapers were delivered and he put one on and removed it in front of me. It's a lot to handle. Maybe if he does it one step at a time I'll slowly become more comfortable...I don't want to sound close minded, it's just so foreign to me and a lot of new information at one time.

Click to expand...

An idea I'd suggest... take a day you both have to yourselves, and let him go through what he enjoys with you (you don't necessarily have to participate if you don't want to, make it clear how comfortable you are with participation right away and don't do more then you feel comfortable doing).... it will let you see the big issues that you are going to have with it.

to be honest, it means something different to everyone, and i would guess that most of us have difficulty explaining it.

I understand that fetishes are normal, I have one too but don't actually participate in it, once since high school really. I desperation wetting but can count on one hand how many times I've done it.
The tips I'm reading here are helpful. My husband and I have talked a lot, he actually wanted to talk more and I was the one who needed to stop.
Are there any spouses who have reacted similarly?

JediMaster88 said:

I understand that fetishes are normal, I have one too but don't actually participate in it, once since high school really. I desperation wetting but can count on one hand how many times I've done it.
The tips I'm reading here are helpful. My husband and I have talked a lot, he actually wanted to talk more and I was the one who needed to stop.
Are there any spouses who have reacted similarly?

Click to expand...

Orimashi actually is a very compatible fetish, I think if you are open about it with him he will support this, heck even if the diapers do nothing for your feelings, they are great for orimashi as far as clean up is concerned, I'd definitely share that information with him,

rennecfox said:

An idea I'd suggest... take a day you both have to yourselves, and let him go through what he enjoys with you (you don't necessarily have to participate if you don't want to, make it clear how comfortable you are with participation right away and don't do more then you feel comfortable doing).... it will let you see the big issues that you are going to have with it.

Click to expand...

That's an idea.. I'm not sure I'm ready for all of that at once though. I'm a submissive and seeing him in a diaper is really conflicting for me.

JediMaster88 said:

That's an idea.. I'm not sure I'm ready for all of that at once though. I'm a submissive and seeing him in a diaper is really conflicting for me.

Click to expand...

Being in a diaper doesn't mean you have to be submissive, explain that to him, see if he's ok to be in the dominating role, perhaps take turns if you both like to sub,.