Confused sissy needs help

I started watching straight porn pretty young and always have been very interested in my sexual appetites. It started around 2 years ago when I began exploring other things online rather than straight porn. This lead me to discover I liked bisexual porn, which then over time evolved into cuckolding. The idea of cuckolding was a game changer for me. I didn't know when I began that I was diving into a deep world of fucked up things. I created a tumblr account and was amazed at all of the different kinds of cuckold porn there was. I began discovering sissy blogs and I remember initially thinking how fucked up this is. Here am I a year later and I am truly starting to question who I am. I don't know whether those sissy hypno videos work but I feel very different about my sexuality as of recent. Up until this past year I've always believe I've been a straight male. I'm 21 years old and still in college. I've had plenty of girlfriends and what not. I do not understand why, but the idea of being a sissy girl is so incredibly arousing. I have never worn lingerie or acted on any of my fantasies, but I feel like I am very close. I want to so bad. I want to dress up and be a cute sissy girl. I originally loved to fantasize about being humiliated by women, but now I fantasize about emasculated and dominated by a male. I love BDSM and most definitely a submissive beta male. I love the idea of being locked in chastity, and which I was so I would never have an orgasm and get mad at myself after. Why is this fetish so incredibly appealing? I've never been more sexually aroused than I am when I'm watching sissy hypno and/or fantasizing about dressing up and letting real men fuck me. I want it so bad I feel like I need to act on my fantasies immediately. I'm having a hard time processing this and don't know how to deal with it. I'm scared and confused. I've lived my life as a straight male all my life, and now in the back of my mind I'm deeply fantasizing about being a girl. I've been angry with myself and have tried to repress it, which has caused multiple problems elsewhere in life. Is it okay for me accept being a sissy and embrace all of my fantasies? I don't know how this works. Did any of you have a similar experience? Any advice, comments or questions are greatly appreciated. ::smile:

Sexuality and desires can change over time. When I was in high school, I had a very serious girlfriend. When I was in college, I had a very serious boyfriend. After college, I got married and had/have three children. Life changes and sometimes we change with it.

I enjoy reading stories involving domination, and when I fantasize, I lean more to gay than straight. But doing these sort of things for real involves risks. There are venereal diseases of course, but you would also want to be very sure you were with safe people, because snuff films exist and sometimes people die at the hands of very sick people. Always be safe first. As to where you would find safe, like minded people to engage in this, I have no idea. Being married is much better for my sanity, so that's why I went in that direction. Plus, I love my kids.

Well, first of all, I am glad that I am not alone as being one to watch Sissy Hypno. I have had a similar experience as well, as I keep/kept going through bursts of times, one where I would love to buy me a skirt and some adorable roller skates, and the next where I would fall back and want to start up being a boy again and do boy things. I wish I was able to stick to one thing and one thing only, but this very much comes with time. Your body naturally knows what you are doing is "Wrong and taboo" so it is trying to push it out of you, and guiding it back in is not an easy task. I wish you the best of luck!