It's really distressing because when dad is at home, I can follow my routine but as soon as he is gone, I get so lonely and upset when nobody talks to me, I search up anything, countless useless YouTube videos, binge eat sometimes, I search up meaningless memes that don't entertain me at all for no reason. My bedtime is at 10 o'clock and I stayed up to 12 and it is very distressing for me as I feel like I should be cared for and I am lost without having my dad in the house with me.
Why do I do this? How can I help myself follow my routine? Why is it so distressing to me? I feel like this is old depressed state that is coming out when I don't sleep or stay up! This is sucks real shite! (Sorry I had to swear!)
I HATE, HATE,HATE this utter bullshit!