MarchinBunny
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egor said:I have ADD and Am on the Autism spectrum. Therefore I have a tendency to be compulsive.
With the Autism spectrum there is a element of gastric distress issues. So I have had irritable bowel issues my whole life.
When I was 3 near of just turned four if I was "Stressed" I would get gas and diarrhea. When we would go over to my cousins I would have messy accidents.
Small back step: I was basically toilet trained at gun point. I was out of diapers because I was 2 1/2 and everything was taken from me, diapers, toys, put in a twin bed, etc.
So when I had second time I had an accident at my cousin (she is 21 years older then me) I was accused of doing it deliberately and diaper disciplined. My mom argued with her for a few minutes then she held me down while my cousin put a diaper on me. I had to wear it for the rest of the day and we stopped at the grocery store on the way home and I had to walk in front of cart while the neighbors came up and ridiculed me.
Several months later I had another accident when I was at home with just my mom. I hid from her and took a towel and a pair of her underwear and made a diaper and pants and hid in the bathroom cabinet and cried myself asleep. She was calling me and I woke up and took the stuff off so she would not punish me again.
I had a few other issues like that and just thought I was suppose to wear a diaper and things progressed.
From then on I was always trying to make a "real diaper" and used anything to try.
I went through binge and purge cycles and the longest was 9 years after I got married. Then I started having inconstancies issues and it all came back.
I had heard of AB/DL and started looking things up. I ordered my first pair of plastic pants and about a week later I found ADISC and learned what it is all about and gained understanding and control with the help of my therapist and this group/forums.
That is why I said there is a predisposition for things and the rest is environmental influence to the outcome.
This was very interesting, thank you for sharing. I have actually gone through very similar things myself actually. Just with incontinence issues and bed wetting. Never was actually what I would consider potty trained the normal way. My mom essentially yelled at me for having an accident or something and she claims I was potty trained since.
I think a big major difference though here is I am fairly certain I was interested in diapers before I was potty trained.