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Thread: None ABDL Girlfriend with ABDL Boyfriend in need of guidence...

  1. #1

    Default None ABDL Girlfriend with ABDL Boyfriend in need of guidence...

    Hi everyone.

    I'm not too sure how to start this off but I could sure use some help/words of advise. My boyfriend came out to me about this side of him last year and truth be told it really has made us stronger. And although I am not an ABDL myself, he introduced to me to the ABDL world and I've become very accepting of it. In fact, I love being his mommy. He means the world to me and the love we share can't be compared to anything else in this world. I find happiness taking care of him and seeing him happy and at ease when he falls into little mode. I am very accepting of this side of him and partake often myself. He has ABDL friends of his own and I'm happy that he found people to relate to. But there's one big problem for me that I can't seem to get past....

    Amongst those friends he has a "big brother". I'm happy to change my boyfriend's nappy and put him in one before bed. But it bothers me tremendously that whenever him and his "big brother" hang out, his BB will change his diaper. My boyfriend has made it very clear to me that it is not a sexual thing and I understand that fact. But I truly just cannot get past the fact that someone else changes his diaper other than me. I feel like it's very personal and I really cannot be comfortable with anyone else doing it for him.

    I don't want to tell him to stop hanging out with his ABDL friends, I just don't want anyone else to change him. I truly don't know how to feel about this. I love him more than anything but I need help with this.

    -Upset Mommy

  2. #2

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    Well it sounds like you've already decided that your not comfortable sharing this aspect of your boyfriend with others. I say this because even if it is not a sexual thing doesn't mean it isn't a romantic thing. It may not be a fun talk, but there isn't really any way to get around it and brushing it off as silly will only make the hurt worse over time.

    The other option is to accept that he's doing this. If I had a girlfriend as my mommy I personally wouldn't feel that happy about her babying other boys/girls either. It is for me sexual too though.

    If its too hard for you to say no outright, you can always tell him that your on the fence about this, and aren't sure your ok with it. Its honest straightforward and a lot less harsh than a flat out no.

  3. #3

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    Thank you. I really appreciate some insight with this. Sometimes I feel as though I don't know where that line should be drawn at times but this part really does bother me. I want to continue to work on this.

  4. #4

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    My mummy is the only one who changes my nappy (apart from myself). My opinion is that you have been open and accepting , and if you feel uncomfortable then you should let him know. You could even explain to him that if he were a 'real' baby then you wouldn't let another child change him, so don't want his 'big brother' to. A nappy change is an intimate thing, both for babies and ABs. So i see nothing wrong with you wanting to be the one who does it as him mummy and partner. We littles with mummies are very lucky, and let's be honest... what mummy says should go! Hope that helps. Good luck.

  5. #5

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    Diaper changes are pretty common in the community as a friendly gesture but obviously it can mean considerably more. I wouldn't say your reaction is unreasonable but it's not a concern that most ABDLs seem to have, even when in a committed relationship. How you change your boyfriend is going to be different than his big bro or some other friend does it. It means something entirely different coming from you. If you're not comfortable with that distinction, you'll need to talk further with him.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by brokenkeys17 View Post
    Sometimes I feel as though I don't know where that line should be drawn at times but this part really does bother me.
    The line is drawn wherever you feel comfortable drawing it. You and your boyfriend need to talk about this and by talk, I mean communicate.

    And it's ok to change your mind - that is, you don't want his BB changing his diaper now but you might be ok in the future.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by brokenkeys17 View Post
    Thank you. I really appreciate some insight with this. Sometimes I feel as though I don't know where that line should be drawn at times but this part really does bother me. I want to continue to work on this.
    Shoulds are awfully tricky. I mean I should not like being treated like a baby. The fact that your not comfortable is known however. Please tell your boyfriend. You don't need to decide right away, but hiding pain is never helpful. Frankly He's really lucky to have found a girl who didn't instantly dump him when the abdl stuff was revealed, which is what usually happens.

  8. #8

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    Geez lucky guy!

    If ABDL or diaper changes are part of your personal relationship with your BF then yeah you really really need to tell him it falls in the cheating no go column to have him being changed by someone else.

    Definitely be true to your own feelings even if he tells you for him it's like being a baby changed by a daycare worker or an actual siblings.

  9. #9

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    Thank you everyone. I'm really happy I could find a place to talk to people comfortably about such a situation. A part of me really does understand it's just someone taking care of a baby for the moment that it needs to be done, but it makes me feel less significant because, well....I'm his mommy and that's what mommy's do. I've been going back and forth with this topic but just can't get past the way I feel. I have talked to him about this but he says there's nothing for me to worry about. But I still do and it hurts me. Again, thank you all for being such a great help and support system <3

  10. #10

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    Not a problem. If you want a female perspective feel free to chat to my mummy/partner. Her name is Nenanena and she is a member here.

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