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Thread: Attachment Issues

  1. #1

    Default Attachment Issues

    Ok, so over the course of the past few months I started playing a game called mabinogi again, it's an mmorpg. Been making friends and such in game but it's been causing a lot of problems for me and i'm not exactly sure why I do this.

    I become overly attached to those who I consider friends and that in itself would be fine and dandy if I didn't become an overly depressed crazy person anytime I was left alone or felt like there was no one to play with or to talk to. I often also have jealousy issue.

    When a friend is doing something without me or not playing with me it often makes my heart hurt. I get depressed and really sad. It's gotten to the point where i'm losing friends and causing problems for other people.

    I don't really expect much to help as I have no idea how to not feel like that when it happens. I am just so overly depressed lately ... I don't know what to do anymore.

    I honestly think i'm a terrible person these days. I sometimes often get to the point where I chase friends away because I don't want to hurt anymore. Is it possible ... being alone is just better for me?

  2. #2

    Default

    As human beings, we need social connections. You are not a terrible person, just a human being going through growing pains. I'd recommend getting help locally from safe others: 12 step groups, group therapy, private therapy, welcoming churches, etc.

    My problem with attachment was that I was too other focused: believing that I'd be left alone if I decided not to be with people who were unhealthy for me.

    In other words, I had to listen to my heart, and find people who were capable of giving and receiving love, not unhealthy people that I could "fix/pity" to cover up my deathly fear of abandonment.

  3. #3

    Default

    PS - it's very hard learning how to find safe others, when you've never had that in your family of origin.

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