I've mentioned my anxiety and OCD before, but tonight I think I may have had a revelation that will help me (and maybe some of you).
I have obsessed so much recently, and have wanted my little time to be an escape from my anxious mind. However, when little my obsessions have seemed to get worse rather than better. All of these obsessions have seemed to be based around how children of my age would act/behave, what cartoons they would watch, whether they would be potty trained, what sort of nappies they wear....the list goes on! What has been so frustrating about this, is that by thinking about how accurately I can be little, I have ended up snapping myself out of little zone because I was getting so anxious, which negates the reason for me being little originally (to escape anxiety).
My little age has always been that i am 2 going on 3. Tonight however, I think that I have come up with a thought that could change my mindset completely. When I was talking to my wife/mummy the other day, she was telling me, that when I'm little, I'm still me, and that I'm just a me that allows myself to be vulnerable. This got me me thinking! Why do I think it is important that I am a certain age when I'm little? If I allow myself to be vulnerable me, rather than me who is exactlyour 2- 3, then it won't matter if my behaviour is appropriate to my age, or whetger a cartoon is to old for me, or whether I'm to old to be in nappies, or how I would act in general at that age. I guess what I'm saying is that rather than being 3 year old child, I'm going to try to change my mindset to being me and vulnerable, and cared for by my mummy. I hope that this might help me to snap out of worrying about minute details, and just enjoy the experience of being innocent, without worries, relaxed and enjoying my little life!
What do you think? How specific are you on your little age? Do you see it as a sort of therapy too? Lots of questions. I suppose what I'm saying is, what is your mildest when you are little? Does it help you in your life over all?
Hope the post isn't to detailed?
Lots of love.