I feel like it's time to let my nana know about me liking toys and being like a child. (Aged 6-9), I asked my dad about this and he said he doesn't want a phone call of my nana because of "concerns".
I have a feeling my nana is very vanilla. But I want her to know me, i don't want her to treat me so grown up and it hurts seeing the younger cusions treated the way I used to be treated and I have so MUCH JEALOUSY and HURT while I am treated like "why aren't you going out with your friends!?" Crap. I can't pretend to be something I am not, last time I came up to stay, the girls were there and I saw them being able to act younger and I felt like I had to sit still and be a "grown up", the 6 times I went up I ended up crying because I wanted to join in so badly and nearly purged. I feel like my nana needs to know so I can at least act like a 10 year old and get away with playing with toys, I know and am aware that it may make them worried about me,
but if I emphasise that I AM a responsible adult who will look after the cusions, I WORK hard at college as I have been working my padded butt off since my mom had died and I WON'T do anything silly and overly childish in public, will it make what I am about to state to my nana more acceptable? When she asks what I have been doing, I have to lie everytime because I can't just spring up, "oh, I played with my ponies yesterday!" I will explain to her that I am ok, I have been this way since I had to get rid of my toys at age 10-11, I do this for fun and in my spare time when everything else is done.
She is concerned about me not having many friends so she would assume I am playing in my room instead of getting out and socialising. I am trying to but everybody I meet is not interesting to me as nobody who is vanilla likes toys. But what I am supposed to do? Sit there with a "friend" who is going to be bored with me and sit and "talk"!? about what!? being bright orange in fake tan and who's shagging who in emmer dale!?
How would I go about doing this? I have decided that it's best to let her know rather than her thinking me as a ill person that I used to be.
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Should I pretend to have a friend? Or say I have met somebody who is friend material?