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Thread: Should I tell my nana?

  1. #1

    Default Should I tell my nana?

    I feel like it's time to let my nana know about me liking toys and being like a child. (Aged 6-9), I asked my dad about this and he said he doesn't want a phone call of my nana because of "concerns".

    I have a feeling my nana is very vanilla. But I want her to know me, i don't want her to treat me so grown up and it hurts seeing the younger cusions treated the way I used to be treated and I have so MUCH JEALOUSY and HURT while I am treated like "why aren't you going out with your friends!?" Crap. I can't pretend to be something I am not, last time I came up to stay, the girls were there and I saw them being able to act younger and I felt like I had to sit still and be a "grown up", the 6 times I went up I ended up crying because I wanted to join in so badly and nearly purged. I feel like my nana needs to know so I can at least act like a 10 year old and get away with playing with toys, I know and am aware that it may make them worried about me,

    but if I emphasise that I AM a responsible adult who will look after the cusions, I WORK hard at college as I have been working my padded butt off since my mom had died and I WON'T do anything silly and overly childish in public, will it make what I am about to state to my nana more acceptable? When she asks what I have been doing, I have to lie everytime because I can't just spring up, "oh, I played with my ponies yesterday!" I will explain to her that I am ok, I have been this way since I had to get rid of my toys at age 10-11, I do this for fun and in my spare time when everything else is done.

    She is concerned about me not having many friends so she would assume I am playing in my room instead of getting out and socialising. I am trying to but everybody I meet is not interesting to me as nobody who is vanilla likes toys. But what I am supposed to do? Sit there with a "friend" who is going to be bored with me and sit and "talk"!? about what!? being bright orange in fake tan and who's shagging who in emmer dale!?

    How would I go about doing this? I have decided that it's best to let her know rather than her thinking me as a ill person that I used to be.

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    Should I pretend to have a friend? Or say I have met somebody who is friend material?

  2. #2

    Default

    personally, I think your father has voiced his opinion in the matter, as how your nana sees you is a reflection on him.

    from what I have read in the past, it seems like your father is very supportive of you, and loving towards you.

    I would respect his wishes and not divulge this information to your nana.

    If you absolutely have to tell her though because it is causing you harm, then I suppose you must do what you must.

    I think this is a case of more harm then good coming from telling your nana.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic;1400781
    I have a feeling my nana is very vanilla. But I want her to know me, i don't want her to treat me so grown up and it hurts seeing the younger cusions treated the way I used to be treated and I have so MUCH JEALOUSY and HURT while I am treated like "why aren't you going out with your friends!?" Crap. I can't pretend to be something I am not, last time I came up to stay, the girls were there and I saw them being able to act younger and I felt like I had to sit still and be a "grown up", the 6 times I went up I ended up crying because I wanted to join in so badly and nearly purged. I feel like my nana needs to know so I can at least act like a 10 year old and get away with playing with toys, I know and am aware that it may make them worried about me,
    [COLOR="silver"
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    It sounds as though, even if you did tell your nana about your age, she would be more worried then accepting.
    theres no harm in playing with the younger girls anyway without telling her however, and if she asks if you would rather be doing somthing else, you can express to her that you are enjoying yourself doing what you are doing right now.

    I realize that your jealously stems from the younger girls being able to get away with somthing you would like to get away with,
    In my opinion this is a situation where you will have to dig deep inside yourself and overcome this jealously when you next run into it.

    You have discussed this with your father, my next suggestion is that you let him know the exact extent of your feelings, in this case the jealously.
    with his support im sure it will be easier for you, it may also help you to empatheize with his request that you not tell your nana.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post

    but if I emphasise that I AM a responsible adult who will look after the cusions, I WORK hard at college as I have been working my padded butt off since my mom had died and I WON'T do anything silly and overly childish in public, will it make what I am about to state to my nana more acceptable? When she asks what I have been doing, I have to lie everytime because I can't just spring up, "oh, I played with my ponies yesterday!" I will explain to her that I am ok, I have been this way since I had to get rid of my toys at age 10-11, I do this for fun and in my spare time when everything else is done.

    its a double edged arguement, my advice is that if she does approach you about your behavior, to not allow yourself to become too defensive, pointing out to her the ways in which you are responsible is a great idea, especially if you do take on the "big cousin" roll to your little cousins,
    you will still be able to play with them, with a minimum of fuss. BUT the minute you then after having expressed how responsible you are, express that you internally feel younger, you undo everythinng you have said before.
    I would just leave it at how hard working you are, and that you are looking after the younger cousins. the issue that many adults have with teenagers and youn adults, is even though they say one thing, in this case assuring an adult that they are "ok" and that they have things under control, causes the adult to assume (again, in a lot of cases, not 100% of the time) causes the adult to assume that
    the teenager or younger adult does not understand all the details of a situation. this precieved naievity can be more alarming to an older person then the topic that the youth was trying to assure them was ok.


    I really hope this helps you, please let us know how it goes. sometimes we have to sacrifice our own comfort for those we love.

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