Battling Internalized Diaper Stigma

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Another thing to think about, what is it about wearing something that bothers you so much? is it that it makes you feel babyish?

If thats the case you have to ask this question? What is it about wearing the diaper that makes it babyish? That it's letting someone else take control over maintaining your bodily evacuation disposal schedule in that case in order to maintain hygiene? If thats the case, look at it not being that way at all, you are using the diaper so that you can take control of bodily functions and maintain good hygiene and control when you go to the bathroom and not be a bound by it it anymore then the rest of the population.

If the pull on underwear works for you, wear that for now, if you need more at night then wear something more,
 
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rennecfox said:
Another thing to think about, what is it about wearing something that bothers you so much? is it that it makes you feel babyish?

If thats the case you have to ask this question? What is it about wearing the diaper that makes it babyish? That it's letting someone else take control over maintaining your bodily evacuation disposal schedule in that case in order to maintain hygiene? If thats the case, look at it not being that way at all, you are using the diaper so that you can take control of bodily functions and maintain good hygiene and control when you go to the bathroom and not be a bound by it it anymore then the rest of the population.

If the pull on underwear works for you, wear that for now, if you need more at night then wear something more,
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It isn't a matter of babyish, I just feel guilty wearing them. I do like that when I wake up to pee, I just use the diaper and fall right back to sleep. As opposed to running to the bathroom in the dark then making my way back to my bed. It takes me a little bit of time to fall back to sleep.

My roommate noticed that I am much more energetic in the morning when I wore a diaper the night before. I decided to not wear for a night and I had to run to the bathroom to pee several times. That morning I struggled to wake up.

Wearing a Diaper when sleeping has improved my quality of life. BUT... I really don't want to wear them for the rest of my life.
 
iam32bit said:
It isn't a matter of babyish, I just feel guilty wearing them. I do like that when I wake up to pee, I just use the diaper and fall right back to sleep. As opposed to running to the bathroom in the dark then making my way back to my bed. It takes me a little bit of time to fall back to sleep.

My roommate noticed that I am much more energetic in the morning when I wore a diaper the night before. I decided to not wear for a night and I had to run to the bathroom to pee several times. That morning I struggled to wake up.

Wearing a Diaper when sleeping has improved my quality of life. BUT... I really don't want to wear them for the rest of my life.
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If it has improved your quality of life then why the objection of daytime wearing your quality of life has only benefited 50 percent the other 50 percent you are suffering from accidents and the fear of embarrassment this is why we have been suggesting all along you have to wear 24-7 since you cannot control your bladder Yes I know its hard to hear as we have been saying for days now. Please take our advice its only to help you. I know its hard its real hard to deal with incontinence and daytime diaper wearing It can be humiliating at times yes I know. It sucks big time you need to wear them during the daytime its for your own good health. I am not forcing you just strongly suggesting it. Just look at your night time experience how its benefited you in the AM. What there to hurt, Try one day and work from there you will thank us all.
 
iam32bit said:
I do like that when I wake up to pee, I just use the diaper and fall right back to sleep. As opposed to running to the bathroom in the dark then making my way back to my bed. It takes me a little bit of time to fall back to sleep.
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I've always been a DL, but I too find this to be e BIG help with my getting a good solid night's sleep. Just Do It. ;)
 
That makes absolutely no sense logically. I mean you give arguments almost every post you make that justifies your need to wear a diaper opposite your objections to doing so for which you have no argument.

Why guilty if in your very description you pretty much stated they help you be more rested? you said its not a mater of infantileishness, if not then what are you guilty of?, sleeping like a baby?

I mean lets look at the score tally:

I started wearing Abena M4s to manage my nighttime pee urgency which was waking me up multiple times a night
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arguments for

Against my doctor's recommendation, I decided not to use medications to manage my urgency. I am on too many of them as it is for Asthma and other medical conditions that have me on a Diuretic
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Did you try it?, did it show up as a complication risk with what you are taking? mark this as another reason for using diapers as you don't want to use the medication for urgency

I guess I would be a mild DL, I just want to use them for their intended purpose. I have real reasons to use them. Waking up multiple times a night is not fun and ruins my day by making me sleepy.
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Self admited desire to use them thats 3 strikes so far (you'd be out at baseball)

Seriously, I don't mind using them at night
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Another reason for, thats four

When I wear diapers, I feel extremely guilty. I know that they make my life more manageable, but I just can't help feeling like I am doing something wrong. Ugh...
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Guilt feeling not founded on any reason you've given but counting as one point against

That seems like too much work, I don't want any surgeries nor any medications. I just feel so guilty wearing diapers to manage having to wakeup multiple times a night. During the day, most of the time I am fine. However there are times where I wish I was wearing a Diaper to alleviate the pain of holding it.

I suffer from anxiety and I torture myself trying to hold it instead of brining attention to myself. Like at the movies, I am afraid of getting up during the movie to go to the bathroom. I don't want to block people or get in the way. This is the same problem when I am on an Airplane, I am scared of using the Restrooms.

When I drive from state to state, the rest stop bathrooms are horrible.
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Diapers making things easier to manage you don't want to consider surgery or medication, 2 point towards why to wear

It is a diuretic, my doctor said "You are on a very high dose, that is the reason why you have to get up so much" I asked if I could change meds and he told me that it is the only medication for my condition.
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You're on a high does of a drug designed to make you pee alot.... definite point for

I can't imagine wearing a Abena M4 out in public, for one it makes me walk funny and it makes so much noise.

I really need to try a Molicare and a Dry/24. I have never worn them before.
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Embarrassment factor, one point not to wear

So today I woke with an intense and painful urge to pee and the second I got up I flooded my diaper. I am really thankful I was wearing it.
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It legitamately saved you from wetting the bed. Point for

Except... that I just flooded a pull-up that I had on and it leaked on my computer chair and to the floor.
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definite point for,

My roommate noticed that I am much more energetic in the morning when I wore a diaper the night before. I decided to not wear for a night and I had to run to the bathroom to pee several times. That morning I struggled to wake up.
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Others notice you seem more rested, point for

Tally so far 2 points against, 10 points for

Again not saying this to upset you or anything, just trying to get you to look at how you sound and what you've admitted that diapers have done to make your life easier and there is no real reason to feel guilty. If you really don't want to take the medication for urgency or wear a diaper, you may want to discuss catheters with your doctor.
 
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IMO just take it a day (or night in this case) at a time. Don't think about the rest of your life - who knows what the future will bring. Just focus on how much better you feel each day after wearing the night before.
 
rennecfox said:
That makes absolutely no sense logically. I mean you give arguments almost every post you make that justifies your need to wear a diaper opposite your objections to doing so for which you have no argument.

Why guilty if in your very description you pretty much stated they help you be more rested? you said its not a mater of infantileishness, if not then what are you guilty of?, sleeping like a baby?

Tally so far 2 points against, 10 points for

Again not saying this to upset you or anything, just trying to get you to look at how you sound and what you've admitted that diapers have done to make your life easier and there is no real reason to feel guilty. If you really don't want to take the medication for urgency or wear a diaper, you may want to discuss catheters with your doctor.
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I understand what you are saying. I just keep internalizing if my reason for wearing diapers is valid. They are most definitely more convenient than having to get up all the time. I love waking up feeling refreshed. But, for example when I have to rush in the morning to drive my roommate to work, I feel scared going outside with my diaper still on. I worry that others will notice and I feel like I am doing something wrong. There is a guilt factor, sure you guys don't see a reason to feel guilty, but I do. It is just hard to explain.

I never feel like a baby wearing, I just feel like I have to justify wearing it in my mind in the case that someone asks. Hell, when I was in a wheelchair I felt guilty. When I used crutches I felt guilty. Maybe it is just an ableist mindset.

I ordered a case of Dry/24s and they are great. I wasn't expecting the package to weigh so much. I wore them last night and they held up way better than the Abenas did.

My real struggle is, should I just stop wearing diapers and try to deal with having to get up in the middle of the night to pee?

I really appreciate all of the advice and I am sorry if I seem like my mind is all over the place.
 
iam32bit said:
I understand what you are saying. I just keep internalizing if my reason for wearing diapers is valid. They are most definitely more convenient than having to get up all the time. I love waking up feeling refreshed. But, for example when I have to rush in the morning to drive my roommate to work, I feel scared going outside with my diaper still on. I worry that others will notice and I feel like I am doing something wrong. There is a guilt factor, sure you guys don't see a reason to feel guilty, but I do. It is just hard to explain.I never feel like a baby wearing, I just feel like I have to justify wearing it in my mind in the case that someone asks. Hell, when I was in a wheelchair I felt guilty. When I used crutches I felt guilty. Maybe it is just an ableist mindset.
I ordered a case of Dry/24s and they are great. I wasn't expecting the package to weigh so much. I wore them last night and they held up way better than the Abenas did.My real struggle is, should I just stop wearing diapers and try to deal with having to get up in the middle of the night to pee? I really appreciate all of the advice and I am sorry if I seem like my mind is all over the place.
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You should not feel guilty for wearing diapers for medical reasons not whatsoever. Sadly until you see a medical doctor to get this figured out you will HAVE TO wear diapers for your own wellbeing. And yes during the day too. Yes the Dry 24-7's are a little bit heavier than a Abena Abri Form X Plus 4. If you want to try to regain continence You will need first to see a doctor to find out whats going on and do it quickly before its too late and you will not like the outcome. As we keep on saying just give it a try going out with your diaper on to work, shopping, or other outdoors activities again you will thank us for this suggestion. Please get a appointment with a Urinary Doctor and get this figured out . For those here who are truly incontinent like myself If there was a way to fix our incontinence we would do it in a heartbeat I guarantee you on that .Some of us do not like the prospects of having to live our lives with endless wet diapers and the expenses that go along with the condition .
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iam32bit said:
My real struggle is, should I just stop wearing diapers and try to deal with having to get up in the middle of the night to pee?
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There is no good reason to do this if it is helping you sleep more comfortably, it's not going to give you more control and most likely you'll end up in a wet bed., you are on diuretics, you need to resolve them one way or another and if you won't take the pill you will need to wear something, chances are from your description possibly all day. From what you've said sooner later rushing to make it during the day is going to be ending in accidents, in a public setting there can be some serious consequences I mean you don't want to get a citation for public urination or have to pay for damaged property do you?
 
xpluswearer said:
You should not feel guilty for wearing diapers for medical reasons not whatsoever. Sadly until you see a medical doctor to get this figured out you will HAVE TO wear diapers for your own wellbeing. And yes during the day too. Yes the Dry 24-7's are a little bit heavier than a Abena Abri Form X Plus 4. If you want to try to regain continence You will need first to see a doctor to find out whats going on and do it quickly before its too late and you will not like the outcome. As we keep on saying just give it a try going out with your diaper on to work, shopping, or other outdoors activities again you will thank us for this suggestion. Please get a appointment with a Urinary Doctor and get this figured out . For those here who are truly incontinent like myself If there was a way to fix our incontinence we would do it in a heartbeat I guarantee you on that .Some of us do not like the prospects of having to live our lives with endless wet diapers and the expenses that go along with the condition .
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The expenses and embarrassment is what prevents me from wearing 24/7. I am certain that it would make things much easier on me and not having to worry about being too far from a bathroom. As I said before, I have talked to my doctor and a Sleep Specialist. Both have said that my constant need to pee is due to my medications. If I were to stop taking them my issue would go away, but another issue would come back. It kinda is a pick my poison situation.

I am sure over time I will grow to accept diapers as a part of my nightly sleep regimen.
 
Is this issue a life or death issue (blood pressure, very severe depression) that take precedence over having bladder control? Also have you discussed possibly lowering the dosage and other complications/cost concerns of taking the other thing the doctor recomended?
 
rennecfox said:
Is this issue a life or death issue (blood pressure, very severe depression) that take precedence over having bladder control? Also have you discussed possibly lowering the dosage and other complications/cost concerns of taking the other thing the doctor recomended?
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Yes it is a matter of life an death. Trust me the condition that my medications are treating is far more important than my bladder control. There are no alternatives at the moment. Lowering the dose would make my condition come back in full force.
 
iam32bit said:
Yes it is a matter of life an death. Trust me the condition that my medications are treating is far more important than my bladder control. There are no alternatives at the moment. Lowering the dose would make my condition come back in full force.
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Then you need to come to terms with yourself and your bodily needs have to come up with a management system for the day
 
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iam32bit said:
The expenses and embarrassment is what prevents me from wearing 24/7. I am certain that it would make things much easier on me and not having to worry about being too far from a bathroom. As I said before, I have talked to my doctor and a Sleep Specialist. Both have said that my constant need to pee is due to my medications. If I were to stop taking them my issue would go away, but another issue would come back. It kinda is a pick my poison situation.
I am sure over time I will grow to accept diapers as a part of my nightly sleep regimen.
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Guess the expense of washing clothes and paying for ruined company assets are just pocket change huh ? And how about the embarrassment of wetting your clothes in public guess you like that or get off on that huh ? and from your posts you did NOT see a specialist in Urinary conditions you saw a general family doctor who yes did a rotation in med school on that however they are not the best for your condition its like hiring a plumber to do electrical work ! You have to accept that you have a medical condition and get on with your life . You need to for public health and your own wellbeing wear a diaper 24-7 until you see the urinary doctor they may be able to fix this quickly for you . However Specialists are hard to get into and you may have to wait a couple of months for a new patient opening appointment so yes in that meantime please for those around you they do not need to be subjected to your bodily fluids and that bacteria wear a diaper please. Yes I am being stern and someone has to to get thru to you ! Unless you are just lying thru your teeth to us here and are just a Diaper Lover or a Fetish person. I am sorry for being harsh ! We are trying to help you !!
 
xpluswearer said:
Guess the expense of washing clothes and paying for ruined company assets are just pocket change huh ? And how about the embarrassment of wetting your clothes in public guess you like that or get off on that huh ? and from your posts you did NOT see a specialist in Urinary conditions you saw a general family doctor who yes did a rotation in med school on that however they are not the best for your condition its like hiring a plumber to do electrical work ! You have to accept that you have a medical condition and get on with your life . You need to for public health and your own wellbeing wear a diaper 24-7 until you see the urinary doctor they may be able to fix this quickly for you . However Specialists are hard to get into and you may have to wait a couple of months for a new patient opening appointment so yes in that meantime please for those around you they do not need to be subjected to your bodily fluids and that bacteria wear a diaper please. Yes I am being stern and someone has to to get thru to you ! Unless you are just lying thru your teeth to us here and are just a Diaper Lover or a Fetish person. I am sorry for being harsh ! We are trying to help you !!
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I am not a ABDL, sure I feel comfortable in a diaper (when I am home and laying in bed). I do not feel comfortable out in public wearing a diaper. I have tried it a few times and almost had a panic attack. I was seen by a Gynecologist last week who also said "Your medication is causing nighttime frequent urination" He told me that I could stop my meds which would be counter intuitive or continue wearing a diaper to sleep. He didn't see a reason to refer me to a urologist since he also specializes in Female Bladder issues.

I have yet to have an accident during the day. Sure, I get those painful urges to pee and I quickly go to the restroom. But I really don't see a reason to wear during the day. Would wearing at work make me more productive? Yeah, it would. But the embarrassment factor and cost really doesn't make it worth it.

It was nice being able to use my diaper this morning while I was driving my roommate to work. Since she knows that I wear them I don't feel embarrassed. I also don't let her see me in a diaper. I always keep my diaper covered even when I am home alone.

On a side note,
I really like the Dry/24s but my main complaint with them is the crinkling. I wish it was quieter. I have tried the cloth backed Abena M4s before and they leak too easily. I wish there was that perfect diaper, one which wasn't too thick, was quiet, and never leaked. Too bad such a diaper doesn't exist.

Thank you for helping me, but I really think wearing at night is all I really need. I am going to keep trying different diapers until I find the perfect one for me. I was thinking of trying a Molicare plastic backed diaper. I heard they are switching it to blue instead of the purple.
 
iam32bit said:
I am not a ABDL, sure I feel comfortable in a diaper (when I am home and laying in bed). I do not feel comfortable out in public wearing a diaper. I have tried it a few times and almost had a panic attack. I was seen by a Gynecologist last week who also said "Your medication is causing nighttime frequent urination" He told me that I could stop my meds which would be counter intuitive or continue wearing a diaper to sleep. He didn't see a reason to refer me to a urologist since he also specializes in Female Bladder issues.I have yet to have an accident during the day. Sure, I get those painful urges to pee and I quickly go to the restroom. But I really don't see a reason to wear during the day. Would wearing at work make me more productive? Yeah, it would. But the embarrassment factor and cost really doesn't make it worth it.It was nice being able to use my diaper this morning while I was driving my roommate to work. Since she knows that I wear them I don't feel embarrassed. I also don't let her see me in a diaper. I always keep my diaper covered even when I am home alone.On a side note,I really like the Dry/24s but my main complaint with them is the crinkling. I wish it was quieter. I have tried the cloth backed Abena M4s before and they leak too easily. I wish there was that perfect diaper, one which wasn't too thick, was quiet, and never leaked. Too bad such a diaper doesn't exist.Thank you for helping me, but I really think wearing at night is all I really need. I am going to keep trying different diapers until I find the perfect one for me. I was thinking of trying a Molicare plastic backed diaper. I heard they are switching it to blue instead of the purple.
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Was it the other day you said you wet yourself and wet your computer chair?
I guess that your Gyne is this :Female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery – a gynaecologic subspecialty focusing on the diagnosis and surgical treatment of women with urinary incontinence and prolapse of the pelvic organs. Sometimes referred to by laypersons as "female urology"
So I guess they may be half right though, When I see the words diagnosis and Surgical treatment basically you get referred to him/her after your family doctor thinks there is a surgical need. I do think that the doc has too much on their plate to deal soely with urology itself. That is why I say a second opinion can take place you have that right to a second opinion you know. Ask your doc FAMILY DOC for a urologist consult for second opinion. more docs in the pot are better ya know. I hope you are not seeing that OB GYN in place of a general Family Doctor that is not what they are designed for . And see you did go out with a diaper on and the earth did not end did it ? you even said you were thankful for wearing it while driving your room mate to work.. See its not bad is it. Yes the dry 24-7's are a tad loud I know . Its something we have to get used to if you want to live a active life and a dry day time . Living with wearing diapers is hard believe me takes alot to get used to took me years to get used to it. Yes Molicare is going from Purple to blue. However Molicare is a major step down in protection FYI . Would it be worse to wet your pants Since you see a OBGYN wet your favorite dress or skirt ? and destroy those high heels or dress shoes socks nylons or panties? I am sure those around you would rather you wear a diaper and keep your urine in the diaper then on the floor or on a chair that they may have to use after you. I know I would rather have a fellow co worker contain it rather than subject the rest of us to bodily fluids. Speaking from someone who has worked in a kitchen, as a server in a restaurant, a retail cashier and retail sales person and in the travel business they all have breathed a sigh of relief to know I was diapered and contained my bodily fluids. Since its expensive for companies to dispose of bodily fluids since it has to be disposed of properly you cannot just wipe it up and toss the stuff you used to wipe up the fluids in the trash it has to be red bagged and your contracted disposal company needs to be notified to pick up the red bag/s from your location .
And your welcome We are here for you and we hope that you will adopt our recommendations and suggestions its for your own benefit we would not steer you into a situation that would be not comfortable believe me I would not.
 
xpluswearer said:
Was it the other day you said you wet yourself and wet your computer chair?
I guess that your Gyne is this :Female pelvic medicine and reconstructive surgery – a gynaecologic subspecialty focusing on the diagnosis and surgical treatment of women with urinary incontinence and prolapse of the pelvic organs. Sometimes referred to by laypersons as "female urology"
So I guess they may be half right though, When I see the words diagnosis and Surgical treatment basically you get referred to him/her after your family doctor thinks there is a surgical need. I do think that the doc has too much on their plate to deal soely with urology itself. That is why I say a second opinion can take place you have that right to a second opinion you know. Ask your doc FAMILY DOC for a urologist consult for second opinion. more docs in the pot are better ya know. I hope you are not seeing that OB GYN in place of a general Family Doctor that is not what they are designed for . And see you did go out with a diaper on and the earth did not end did it ? you even said you were thankful for wearing it while driving your room mate to work.. See its not bad is it. Yes the dry 24-7's are a tad loud I know . Its something we have to get used to if you want to live a active life and a dry day time . Living with wearing diapers is hard believe me takes alot to get used to took me years to get used to it. Yes Molicare is going from Purple to blue. However Molicare is a major step down in protection FYI . Would it be worse to wet your pants Since you see a OBGYN wet your favorite dress or skirt ? and destroy those high heels or dress shoes socks nylons or panties? I am sure those around you would rather you wear a diaper and keep your urine in the diaper then on the floor or on a chair that they may have to use after you. I know I would rather have a fellow co worker contain it rather than subject the rest of us to bodily fluids. Speaking from someone who has worked in a kitchen, as a server in a restaurant, a retail cashier and retail sales person and in the travel business they all have breathed a sigh of relief to know I was diapered and contained my bodily fluids. Since its expensive for companies to dispose of bodily fluids since it has to be disposed of properly you cannot just wipe it up and toss the stuff you used to wipe up the fluids in the trash it has to be red bagged and your contracted disposal company needs to be notified to pick up the red bag/s from your location .
And your welcome We are here for you and we hope that you will adopt our recommendations and suggestions its for your own benefit we would not steer you into a situation that would be not comfortable believe me I would not.
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I was wearing a pull-up at home on my personal office chair. As I started wetting it, it leaked. I am not using pull-ups anymore.
 
You do know that holding urine in leads to enlarged bladders and that leads to incomplete emptying which causes a form of IC called overflow , you are setting yourself up for potential full time permanent wearing of a diaper , keep them fun and off your back take a tinkle when uou need to.

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
 
Tetra said:
You do know that holding urine in leads to enlarged bladders and that leads to incomplete emptying which causes a form of IC called overflow , you are setting yourself up for potential full time permanent wearing of a diaper , keep them fun and off your back take a tinkle when uou need to.

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
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I am not sure what you are talking about. I don't view diapers as "fun". I don't force myself to hold it in. It is just that when the urge to pee starts, it starts strong and painful. I have to run to the bathroom quickly to resolve the pain.

I already wear diapers during the night to alleviate the need to wake up and run to the bathroom. Due to a medication that I am on which is a diuretic, I have increased urine production which means more trips to the bathroom.

Diapers have helped me have a better nights sleep. I don't see the need to wear them during the day (there are times I wish I had a diaper on, like when driving my roommate to work and back) Having to hold my pee at countless stop lights is not fun.
 
Like I had mentioned before, I've gone through most of what you're going through right now, a year ago myself. One of the biggest things to get over was "I don't *really* need to wear diapers. I mean, I CAN just run for the nearest bathroom. It just hurts to hold it, but I still CAN hold it." When it's not an outright need (like at night - for me and you, there really isn't a question if you want to sleep and wake up in a dry bed), it becomes more of a decision to get your life back to normal. I don't *need* to wear diapers during the day, but it makes me be able to do things without worrying about where the next bathroom is. I can go out with friends without having to try to empty my bladder before getting on the subway, or see a movie without interruption, or countless other things - it just makes life easier and less stressful.

I too prefer Dry24/7s as my current goto, but have been trying out Wellness Superios for daytime use. I still can make it to the bathroom 3/4ths of the time, so I don't need ALL the absorbency of the Dry24/7s, and the Superios are thinner and quieter for walking around, but are SO LOUD when taking the tapes off if you have to change in public.

I think you should lighten up about worrying about the crinkle, and try the Molicare Super Plus for daytime use. People won't know you're wearing a diaper, and if they do, they shouldn't care. I always told myself when I used to worry about it, "You're worrying about the tiniest percentage of people in this world who would make fun of someone for a medical condition, and these are the worst kind of people - you wouldn't even want to give them the time of day, let alone worry about what they think."
 
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