hi everyone <3
i never thought it would happen to me but it did: i feel like a girl but my body won't agree with me
signs of girlyness were showing all the time throughout my life and to some point i was aware and very ashamed of it so i learned to supress it and put on an act around others. i've been doing that for the last decade now and for the majority of my life i've been dealing with depression and i simply hated myself.
long story short, my long distance gf noticed my girlyness and pointed it out by telling me directly that i'm a girl with a D. at first i was a bit frustrated and took it as an insult, but as time went by, i realized she was right and i looked back on all the times in the past where i was being girlish.
so now in the present day i finally accept who i am. i'm a girl and my name is Alexis but i go by Lexi. i love my new girly name that my very supportive gf gave me.
with that out of the way, i am now seriously thinking about slowly beginning the transition process and i'm VERY nervous about everything. i still have to come out to my friends and family, which will probably give me a panick attack if i try to go through with it... but for some reason i feel like i'll get that out of the way somehow.
recently i decided to let my hair grow again and i'm planning to get some girly clothes to make myself feel girly when no one will be there to see me being me.
another thing is about my eyesight. i'm shortsighted and i passionately avoid getting glasses which turned out a huge problem when it came to getting a driver's license. i don't have it simply because i dont wanna drive with glasses. but as a girl i would love to wear those big girly hipster style glasses because i think i would look simply adorable.
so that's one obstacle out of the way, but now i don't really know what to do next. when should i look for a "gender doctor" to talk about hrt and transition surgery? or maybe a better question, WHERE can i look for that? and how much money would i need for the whole process?
i really need some advice and support, but overall i feel a lot better since accepting myself as a girl. for the first time in my life i actually love myself so i think i'm heading in the right direction but only time will tell.
oh almost forgot: it's been my dream to have certain "girly body parts" and if i go through the transition process that dream will come true and i'll be a very happy little girl
sorry if it's too long and all over the place. you know how girls are :$
xx Lexi smexxii <3