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Thread: I need help // in a VERY weird situation atm

  1. #1

    Default I need help // in a VERY weird situation atm

    Back Story: I'm an 18 year old female (baby girl/mommy) and I have Androphobia (the fear of men). When I was younger; it wasn't so bad; I just felt "slightly uncomfortable" around males which was often seen as "being shy". But now, after my anxiety became worse; I'm absolutely terrified of talking to men. I used to be able to at least talk to them online and be internet friends, but now it's really scary to me. I can handle comments from men on my online work, profiles,...etc. But as far as conversations go; I just can't do it.
    ***
    Now on to my situation; I was inspired by a TV show to "face my fears" since it was "best cure", so 2 days ago; I went on Omegle and typed in "abdl" for interests. I met two guys; let's call them John and Bob. John is 21 years old (daddy/baby boy) and Bob is 31 (daddy/sissy baby). I had an amazing conversation with the two of them, and I forgot about my fear whilst talking to them. I got along very well with the both of them, so when they asked for a way to stay in contact; I agreed and gave them my -abdl- social media.

    I'm starting to think maybe that was rather a bad idea because my anxiety has been up the roof ever since I've talked to them. John is "moving too fast" (not in a relationship kind of way); on the first night we started talking, he was quick to call me his "baby girl" and insists I call him "daddy". He baby talks me all the time which I thought was nice, so I didn't want to upset him and so I did that and played along, and he calls me mommy sometimes, too. I just feel very uncomfortable calling him "daddy" and being called "baby girl/mommy" by someone I barely know. He also already has a "mommy/baby girl" (she's his best friend). I didn't confront him about it; I knew from his profile bio.

    Bob is the one that scares me more. He proposed we be friends and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, but his behaviour suggests he wants us to be more than that. He has said things like him wanting me to babysit him, change his diapers, dress him up like a baby girl, change his name...etc. I'm more scared of him because he's a lot older than me so I don't know what this little talk about babysitting could evolve into; I take full blame of actually replying back to those comments and playing along since I was so terrified of being paranoid, so I just wanted to be "normal". I had also promised to write him a story after he asked if I could when I told him I wrote ABDL stories (idk if that's important information).

    I guess my question here is: What do I do? Do these guys seem like nice men and it's all in my head? Or do I have the right to be freaked out? Should I just block them and call it a day? Or confront them? I'm so desperate for help!

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by babygirlxo View Post
    Now on to my situation; I was inspired by a TV show to "face my fears" since it was "best cure", so 2 days ago; I went on Omegle and typed in "abdl" for interests. I met two guys; let's call them John and Bob. John is 21 years old (daddy/baby boy) and Bob is 31 (daddy/sissy baby). I had an amazing conversation with the two of them, and I forgot about my fear whilst talking to them. I got along very well with the both of them, so when they asked for a way to stay in contact; I agreed and gave them my -abdl- social media.
    Yikes. If you have difficulty socializing with men, wouldn't it be better to take baby steps (pun intended) toward solving that before diving into a situation where "wierd, strange, crazy" are likely to outnumber the normal? Vanilla type social settings and groups centered on your non-kinky interests? Socializing, like any other skill, requires practice. Start with the JV team for a while before you try to match up with the varsity or even the pros.



    I guess my question here is: What do I do? Do these guys seem like nice men and it's all in my head? Or do I have the right to be freaked out? Should I just block them and call it a day? Or confront them? I'm so desperate for help!
    They may very well be nice men, but at the moment your social skills are badly overmatched, so you'll never know until its too late if you're dealing with Mr. Clean or Aqualung.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by babygirlxo View Post
    , he was quick to call me his "baby girl" and insists I call him "daddy". He baby talks me all the time which I thought was nice, so I didn't want to upset him and so I did that and played along, and he calls me mommy sometimes, too. I just feel very uncomfortable calling him "daddy" and being called "baby girl/mommy" by someone I barely know. !

    Hello! I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation, I am impressed that you decided to confront your fears, Bravo!

    The first thing I would like to say is, NEVER sacrifice your personal comfort for fear of offending someone else. if you are not comfortable how he refers to you, or how he "Insists" you call him,
    DONT DO IT. you are not obligated too. Infact you may be doing more harm then you know. Here is why:


    By doing something you are uncomfortable with on a deep level, you are sending him the message that you can be pushed or wheedled or guilt-ed into doing things you dont want to do, this opens up options for further events of this nature to occur. In example lets use this imaginary person sally.

    Sally has agreed to send pictures to someone on the internet, when she did not want to.
    Now Dave, who asked for the pictures knows that he can get Sally to send them, he wants more pictures. he wants nudes...he wants videos...he wants to skype...

    and then sally blames herself, sally's fear of males seems justified and maybe intensifies.

    A decent human being knows when something may need a little nudge, but will not pressure someone to do something they know upsets the other person. a decent human being will not guilt trip.

    I think that this john person, is moving too fast, and moving too fast in a relationship type way! (i know you said it was not in a relationship type way) I dont know what the majority of people think of this, but I personally feel that claiming possession or using names like mommy and daddy indicates a relationship of some sort, possibly not romantic but certainly possessive. I agree. WAY WAY WAY too fast.



    Quote Originally Posted by babygirlxo View Post

    I had also promised to write him a story after he asked if I could when I told him I wrote ABDL stories (idk if that's important information).

    I guess my question here is: What do I do? Do these guys seem like nice men and it's all in my head? Or do I have the right to be freaked out? Should I just block them and call it a day? Or confront them? I'm so desperate for help!
    I think agreeing to write something as personal as a story could be sending a message you do not want to, but that is up to you to judge.

    Now to answer directly your questions..

    1. Q. What do I do?

    A. I would take the time to detail to them (if you have not already) everything that you expressed in your back story. if they continue to behave the way that they have been, knowing that they are pushing the limits of what i would call friendship and moving more towards intimacy, then I do not think they are worth knowing to be honest. If you are looking to talk to more..mmm...whats the word..Platonic males, adisc is a good place to do that

    2. Q Do these guys seem like nice men and it's all in my head?

    A. I would be offended if i was in your shoes, providing you had explained what you explained in your backstory to them. if you have not, give them a chance to understand where you are coming from before you write them off.

    3. Q. Should I just block them and call it a day? Or confront them?

    A. do not run away from the situation, do not block and banish them without confronting them with your concerns. as you yourself said confronting your fears is the best thing. worst case scenario you block them after confronting them.


    I wish you luck and please remember adisc is always here.
    Last edited by MommyandMattling; 21-Sep-2016 at 14:58.

  4. #4

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    Hi,

    Hang on a minute = you are perfectly safe and in full control. Unless you've given them the key to your house! I presume you haven't given them any private access to you. If this is all via social media and computer = you're safe. So, take a breath and gather yourself, for yourself. Yes, they might be running a bit fast and going in a direction you don't like, so tell them so. You have the right to be yourself and say what you like, what is comfortable and what isn't. If they are going to be good male friends then they'll listen to you.

    Try not to over-react. You are obviously jumpy about it all. That's OK too. You know you are. So you could choose to calm yourself - knowing that in fact there is no danger and that any choices made are really up to you. Empower yourself - just by thinking it through.

    Lots of luck and let us know how it goes!

  5. #5

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    neither of these men sound like nice people!! i think that meeting men under the preface of a shared interest in kink might not be the best way for you to face your fears. if they don't have any of your real information like your name or anything, i would just block them and call it a day! if they make you uncomfortable, you are totally allowed to cut them off. they aren't entitled to your time, attention, or friendship.

  6. #6

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    Your fine its what ever your comfortable with that should matter.
    Some guy's can go over board when talking to ladys.
    The best thing is tell them you not ok with what they are saying.
    If they dont change how they act then dont talk to them.
    You see some guys tend to be desperate to find some one so they tend to go to far.
    Or are to pushy so most of all stay safe .
    Some only think of them shelves not what you want or like thing to be.
    My thoughts are person's must be nice like when you meet some one .
    Not change my pampers or mommy me friends first.
    So if it feels bad then trust that ok .
    Your a person you matter more then what they want from you.
    Never give out personal info untill you known them a while not all can be trusted.
    If you ever meet some one be it a public place restaurant but have some one that you have to check in with . Never go home with them untill you know them never let them touch your drink or food .
    My sister was drugged once and some guy had his way with her .
    Some fear is a good thing.
    All the best stay safe.

  7. #7

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    I have to agree with the above responders, especially MommyandMattling. I think we've seen or at least, heard from female members on this site who have been hounded and cyber-stalked by men in much the same way these guys are treating you. ADISC is atypical as a diaper site compared to most other sites in that we behave ourselves, and if we don't, the mods see to it that those members get banned.

    I originally thought when I read your post that you should explain how you feel to these two individuals, and if they persist, to block them. You don't owe them anything except maybe how you honestly feel. After that, the ball is in their court.

  8. #8

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    If you feel that they are trying to get you to rush in to something, just take a step back. You should absolutely know these people especially if they are online. Anyone online can sound charming without a face. Advances could simple mean advances to get the relationship to a different level. I don't know how you've talked to them, but by what you say, 2 days is quite frankly absurd to try and to advance things. There are more guys in this world, AB guys, that have more than a fetish on their minds. People on Omegle in general are not something that would be considered tame. They are on there to see things.

    You should start by chatting to them, getting to know them before exposing your face to them. Not by meeting on a video chat platform.

    Get to know them outside of their fetishes.

  9. #9

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    You know, honestly, you'd do better taking time here at ADISC getting to know what "normal" looks like in an ABDL. You can literally go anywhere and type in ABDL and get a quick response, but considering your phobia, that does not sound like what you need. You need some stable communication, from ABDL men, but in a somewhat controlled/moderated environment, at least until you have the phobia corralled. There's plenty of decent ABDL community here, to get your feet (and diapers) wet.

  10. #10

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    Hmmm - I think you've already received some fairly sound advice here - the bottom-line being that your androphobia is not solved via your abdl-attraction. As I read you these are two separate, not related issues. So let's leave the abdl-part out of this for a while. Firstly, you have to deal with your fear of men. And on-line is tricky - the risk of running into "male-predators" who sit there behind their anonymity wanking like crazy speaking to a young lady is quite high. Not always, for sure, but the probability you as a woman run into such guys is real.

    So probably a forum like this is not a bad place to start - as opposed to normal, vanilla dating and social media. Here, everybody is dealing with something that's a little bit out of the ordinary, so their empathy may be a bit more developed than your "normal, off-the-shelf" vanilla guy.

    However, have you considered going to a psychologist? They may be able to dig out forgotten issues of your past - issues that are the root of this problem.

    Whatever you choose to do - then best of luck - and GOOD that you're open about your situation and actively seek assistance.

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