Okay in a week this girl I know will be hanging out with me. It is the first time I have EVER done anything like this for more than 30 seconds. I want to make a good impression on her, so we will continue to hang out again after this first time.
Any good anitdotes, jokes, stories, etc. I can tell to make her laugh and be interested in me? All help is appreciated
There's a few rules I've picked up over my short dating 'career'.
1. Don't be desperate. If you're doing anything to crack a joke or make conversation, she's going to see right through it. A few moments of awkward silence to come up with something you actually consider to be interesting is a million times better than the awkward silence that'll follow a conversation neither of you care about.
2. Don't ask for advice. SHe's interested in you. Not me, not the next poster, not someone who has 300 girlfriends. If she cared about us, she wouldn't be dating you. So be yourself. Tell your own corny jokes. Tell your own stories. Be who you are. If you're really going to date her, do you really want to show her half way through that she's been dating the wrong guy?
3. Compliment her on unimportant things. - Ellipsis
Good point brought up by Ellipsis. The girls I've dated love when you give them an honest compliment, especially when it's something they don't think you'd notice. And even then, it's a great conversation starter if you're stuck- comment on how good something looks and then try to look vaguely interested in it while she explains how/where she got it.
Okay, that's my two cents. Just keep things natural and be yourself. Perhaps do a voodoo ritual before hand, just for luck. :P
...this was during the Los Angeles
marijuana drought of '86. I still
had a connection. Which was
insane, 'cause you couldn't get
weed anyfuckinwhere then. Anyway,
I had a connection with this
hippie chick up in Santa Cruz.
All and my friends knew it. And
they'd give me a call and say,
"Hey, Freddy, you buyin some, you
think you could buy me some too?"
They knew I smoked, so they'd ask
me to buy a little for them when I
was buyin. But it got to be
everytime I bought some weed, I
was buyin for four or five
different people. Finally I said,
"Fuck this shit." I'm makin this
bitch rich. She didn't have to do
jack shit, she never even had to
meet these people. I was fuckin
doin all the work. So I got
together with her and told her,
"Hey, I'm sick of this shit. I'm
comin through for everybody, and
nobody's comin through for me.
So, either I'm gonna tell all my
friends to find their own source,
or you give me a bunch of weed,
I'll sell it to them, give you the
money, minus ten percent, and I
get my pot for free." So, I did
if for awhile...
...but then that got to be a pain
in the ass. People called me on
the phone all the fuckin time. I
couldn't rent a fuckin tape
without six phone calls
interrupting me. "Hey, Freddy,
when's the next time you're gettin
some?" "Motherfucker, I'm tryin
to watch 'Lost Boys'-- when I have
some, I'll let you know." And
then these rinky-dink pot heads
come by--there's my friends and
everything, but still. I got all
my shit laid out in sixty dollar
bags. Well, they don't want sixty
dollars worth. They want ten
dollars worth. Breaking it up is
a major fuckin pain in the ass. I
don't even know how much ten
dollars worth is. "Well, fuck,
man, I don't want that much
around. If I have that much
around I'll smoke it." "Hey, if
you guys can't control your
smokin, that's not my problem.
You motherfuckers been smokin for
five years, be a adult about it."
Finally I just told my connection,
count me out. But as it turns
out, I'm the best guy she had, and
she depended alot on my business.
But I was still sick to death of
it. And she's trying to talk me
into not quitin.
Now this was a very weird
situation, 'cause I don't know if
you remember back in '86, there
was a major fuckin drought.
Nobody and anything. People were
livin on resin and smokin the wood
in their pipes for months. And
this chick had a bunch, and was
beggin me to sell it. So I told
her I wasn't gonna be Joe the Pot
Man anymore. But I would take a
little bit and sell it to my
close, close, close friends. She
agreed to that, and said we'd keep
the same arrangement as before,
ten percent and free pot for me,
as long as I helped her out that
weekend. She had a brick of weed
she was sellin, and she didn't
want to go to the buy alone...
...Her brother usually goes with
her, but he's in county
Traffic tickets gone to warrant.
They stopped him for something,
found the warrants on 'im, took
'im to jail. She doesn't want to
walk around alone with all that
weed. Well, I don't wanna do
this, I have a bad feeling about
it, but she keeps askin me, keeps
askin me, finally I said okay
'cause I'm sick of listening to
it. Well, we're picking this guy
up at the train station.
get to the train station, and
we're waitin for the guy. Now I'm
carrying the weed in one of those
carry-on bags, and I gotta take a
piss. So I tell the connection
I'll be right back, I'm goin' to
the little boys room...
...So I walk into the men's room,
and who's standing there?
...six Los Angeles County Sheriffs
and a German Shepherd.
They were just a bunch of
cops hangin out in the men's room,
talkin. When I walked through the
door they all stopped what they
were talking about and looked at
The German Shepherd starts
barkin'. He's barkin' at me. I
mean it's obvious he's barkin' at
Every nerve ending, all of my
senses, the blood in my veins,
everything I has was screaming,
"Take off, man, just take off, get
the fuck outta there!" Panic hit
me like a bucket of water. First
there was the shock of it--BAM,
right in the face! Then I'm just
standin there drenched in panic.
And all those sheriffs are lookin
at me and they know. They can
smell it. As sure as that fuckin
dog cam, they can smell it on me.
Okay really, I say just act normal, and ask her questions about herself.
Not invasive questions, avoid sexual ones, just general crap.
If you do make jokes or tell humorous anecdotes, make them inoffensive mature ones.