You sound young, and your boyfriend sounds even younger. I say this because the way you describe him sounds a bit clueless, like he doesn't know you or what you need, and also knows very little of the ABDLDDlg scene. My heart goes out to you, cos you're going to have to try to be more mature than him and get him to open up about his reservations. It IS all about conversations and close, intimate talks - where neither partner feels threatened or anxious. Strangely, you may have read, ABDL/DDlg couples are often much more in tune with each other. I was married to a girl who didn't really want me or what I was into, but it took 3 kids and over 25 years to "move on". Our relationship was always on or off, nothing in the middle. Since then I've found my true partner in life, and the intimacy and support we share is so valuable and meaningful. So, there is hope out there! If you can get your boyfriend to relax and be honest, that'd be a good start. Lots of luck and wishes.