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Thread: Sexual Trauma

  1. #1

    Default Sexual Trauma

    Hey guys (and girls)! This is my first post on this group but I signed up to be around others that can somewhat relate to me. I've been with my wife for over 10 years (married for 8+) but diapers are a serious point of contention in our marriage. If we were ever to get a divorce (we don't want/are on great terms currently) it wouldn't be over the "typical" stuff like money, raising kids, or religious differences, it would be over diapers.

    I'm just curious how many people on this site were subjected to sexual trauma as a child. Myself, I was raped and molested by my uncle a few times and coupling that with my some psychological abuse as a kid, it led to a diaper fetish. I have no desire to act like a baby or really engage in most stuff that others like to do on this site, although I won't knock any of it, it's just not my thing...other than being a diaper lover. I'm sure that I'm not the only one here that wishes they could get rid of this fetish and just be "normal" but have failed to achieve that for quite some time. I guess what I'm really curious about is the psychology behind the diaper fetish. If you look at a fetish for what it is, a sexual desire towards a non-sexual object, what happened to all of us that put us on this website in the first place? Was a large majority subjected to abuse earlier on in their childhood and that's what did it? For me, diapers do have a sexual side of it but they also are tremendously cathartic for me. I spent almost 12 years in the Army and deployed 10 times (8 to Afghanistan and 2 to Iraq) and although I was far away, on some deployments I would take diapers with me and I felt really secure in them.

    Can anyone else relate to any of this? Please note that I disabled all notifications that would get sent to my email so my wife does not see anything but I will periodically hop on here to check any notifications and respond.

  2. #2

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    I don't see the connection between being abused and having a diaper fetish.

  3. #3

    Default Sexual Trauma

    I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences, it sounds horrible.

    Personally, I have a diaper fetish and have never experienced any abuse or sexual trauma.

    Now diapers are also a huge comfort and relaxer for me.

    I wish you all the best with your wife and your disagreement around diapers.

    Maybe you could also post an introduction thread and tell us a little more about your likes and dislikes and why your wife does not support your liking of diapers?

  4. #4

    Default

    I'm not a DL, but I just wanted to say that it makes sense for people with trauma / high levels of stress to latch onto any coping mechanism they find comforting. It's a normal reaction to trauma to unconsciously or consciously seek coping mechanisms that lower stress. So some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Others latch onto stuffies or in your case diapers. Maybe with a different upbringing, but the same trauma you'd be an avid collector of lunchboxes, and that would be your coping mechanism / source of comfort. Can't speak for the sexual side, but it makes sense that whatever experiences you had (maybe a happy infancy compared to what came after?) makes your mind think of diapers as comforting, and the trauma meant you majorly needed a source of comfort, so turned to that.

    Just thought I'd add my thoughts on the matter. Hope you don't mind me butting in.

  5. #5
    yurguardianangel

    Default

    Not sexual, but had physical abuse I had when I was very young.

    I was in PE and because I wouldn't do a backwards sommersault, the disgusting piece of shit PE teacher forced my legs over my head.

    And to this day if I have to go on my back and raise my legs up, I get a full blown panic attack,extreme anxiety and extreme fear.

  6. #6

    Default

    I never really thought about why my desire to wear for sexual satisfaction came from. I was never physically abused and was brought up in a what most would call a fairly normal middle class household. I do know I had early desires to use my moms feminine protection pads to get off on and can remember sneaking in her closet to grab one. What brought this on, I am not totally sure, but it eventually morphed into a diaper liking.
    I think my mom was always embarrassing me, especially when I had early crushes on the neighbors accross the street (two houses had cute girls around my age). I could never get the guts to ask either one of them out, even though I fantasized about it often. If I saw one outside, I immediately would go out and try to strike up a conversation. But then mom would usually check on me and make some comment that would kill the moment. Several years later, my dad passed away unexpectedly when I was 18 and that kind of left me as the head of the house and sort of guilted me into staying much later than I would have hoped to living with her. I realize now, I lost about 10 years of my young adulthood without dating or developing a "normal" for my age social sex life. When I finally did go off on my own, I started to live my life, socially like a 19 year old, but I was 29. It took me several years of serious but short lived relationships and I got a lot out of my system. I also was diaper free up to that point, maybe trying a depends here and there but nothing consistant. Once I found my now wife, I did not get into diapers until my wife was pregnant. Even then it was rare. She did not know for awhile and I used it as an excuse to get better sleep or when traveling a long distance.
    As a DL, I think diapers will always be part of my life. Sexually, there is something different and going back to my teens, remembering the feeling of sneaking into my moms closet for her pads, it is similar. Exciting, risky, safe and comforting all at once. Perhaps my not dating at an early age, being embarrassed by mom, and somewhat sheltered home life, led to this exciting, taboo, urge. Who knows for sure, but I do wear more today then back then and I am sure this supplements some of that desire for excitement that may be more lacking as we get older in our lives.

  7. #7

    Default

    While the abuse question comes up from time to time, there's nothing definitive about it or any other theory that I've seen. I think we're too complicated, even as children to have a desire like this arise from a fixed set of circumstances. I would say I had a good and trauma free childhood and yet here I am with this oddness in my life.

    Although it might be interesting to know for sure what caused me to have these desires, I don't think it's very important that I know. I'm happy with myself as an ABDL now and I think how we deal with it now is what's most important.

    I'm sorry for what was done to you and I can only imagine how difficult it would be to come to a good feeling about what you see as the result of that abuse. I hope you will be able to see that there's nothing intrinsically bad about the desire for diapers. How you manage it and yourself can lead to joy or sadness. I wish you joy.

  8. #8

    Default

    I never had an trauma in my childhood, although there are several factors that I think helped contribute to my diapered lifestyle. I'm a DL, so for me diapers are a comfort, and aren't as much of a sexual fetish as they ad once started out being. I grew up being visually impaired. I was born 2 months premature and while this directly led to my impairment, it also means that i had spent the first year of my life in the hospital and was there back and forth throughout my early childhood, thus creating a lot of stress and I'm also pretty sure that I wasn't out of diapers till I was 4. I can remember having incidences of wetting and messing accidents until I was about 7 yrs old, I'm not sure of the exact reasons behind these accidents, whether it was for attention or waiting too long or because of not liking using public bathrooms . I'm sure it was a combo o all 3 but the roots behind these as a are not known, even trying to anylize this at an older age. There were also some instances of being bullied in first and 2nd grade. That I can remember. Which I'm sure don't help. Anyways all this led to being put back into diapers at 7 years old and I now can see that that incident at such a young age was traumatic for me, since it was meant to be as a punishment. At least that's how I perceived it at the time and I guess the only way of coping was to turn it into something that I liked. And that's exactly what happened. Between 7 and 16 or 17. There was a long time without wearing diapers before the urges came back again and it was during high school finals time whichis stressful, so I'm not surprised at all. Through my 20s I woulddabble in diapers every so often, even while I was in college. Once I got out on.my own in my early 30s I would wear diapers a lot, especially starting around 2009. I was on my own and had a part time job at a grocery store and I was wearing diapers pretty much 24/7, as a matter of convenience. In 2012 I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and right after I went on a cpap machine I started having bedwetting issues so I just continued my nightly diaper wearing although this time I had a legit reason for needing them. It's been that way ever since. Now in the past year I've had 2 eye surgeries to re attach the retina in my only good eye, so my I'm severely low vision, and need the use of a white cane. I find that it takes me longer to get places an do things when I'm out and I can't always easily get to a bathroom in time. What I mean by that is that if I'm walking and I suddntly feel the urge to pee I can't just walk faster to get to a bathroom even if I ew where one was. I'm not always in a place where I can get to one at all like when I'm on the bus. Often times I have to pee at the worst times and I know that if I try to hold it , it won't be for more then 15 or 20 mins before the urges is so bad that I t stand it. I'd just rather not get to that point in the first place. Diapers give me the freedom to my have to worry about dealing with this. For me diapers are definitely more of a psychological ad for me but I do have an actual need for them, bedwetting and uses, and minor leaks or dribbles are real issues for me but would the rest of the work say that I need to wear all the time, no probably not, do I feel I need to , yes I think I do. I rather have that sense of security at all times then not.

  9. #9

    Default

    For some, myself included, diapers are a way to regress back to your childhood and almost in a way, a chance to relive the childhood that you never had that was never "molested" in the first place...it's not really about the diaper but going back in time.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I don't mind at all, Caden. I'm curious what brought everyone to this site. As for the lunchboxes, I don't think that could be entirely ruled out. I can't personally relate to a hoarder, but all the junk that they keep really ties back into something from their past and isn't about the stuff they are amassing.




    Quote Originally Posted by Caden View Post
    I'm not a DL, but I just wanted to say that it makes sense for people with trauma / high levels of stress to latch onto any coping mechanism they find comforting. It's a normal reaction to trauma to unconsciously or consciously seek coping mechanisms that lower stress. So some people turn to drugs and alcohol. Others latch onto stuffies or in your case diapers. Maybe with a different upbringing, but the same trauma you'd be an avid collector of lunchboxes, and that would be your coping mechanism / source of comfort. Can't speak for the sexual side, but it makes sense that whatever experiences you had (maybe a happy infancy compared to what came after?) makes your mind think of diapers as comforting, and the trauma meant you majorly needed a source of comfort, so turned to that.

    Just thought I'd add my thoughts on the matter. Hope you don't mind me butting in.
    - - - Updated - - -

    You know there was a psychologist that said that was is learned from action can be unlearned from action. I would talk with someone and try to revisit that. It's interesting how something so small can have such a profound impact on us.



    Quote Originally Posted by yurguardianangel View Post
    Not sexual, but had physical abuse I had when I was very young.

    I was in PE and because I wouldn't do a backwards sommersault, the disgusting piece of shit PE teacher forced my legs over my head.

    And to this day if I have to go on my back and raise my legs up, I get a full blown panic attack,extreme anxiety and extreme fear.
    - - - Updated - - -

    I'm really genuinely happy that you are content with yourself as an ABDL, Trevor and would actually say I'm partially jealous. My problem is that diapers sort of destroy my marital life and erodes to other areas as well. My wife will never be okay with them and to have such a strong desire for something that you can never fully or comfortably divulge in is really a bad position to be in. I don't know if you are married or dating anyone now but if you plan on having diapers as a part of your life indefinitely, make for DAMN SURE that they are truly okay with it because it can lead to serious depression down the road

    - - - Updated - - -

    I think if I were in your shoes and had the same story that things would be much different for me because you actually have more of a medical need for them unlike myself where I don't actually need them, just a desire. My wife seems to think that I got my attraction to the diapers from getting raped and molested and because of that it ruins everything.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by theroadlesstraveled View Post
    Myself, I was raped and molested by my uncle a few times and coupling that with my some psychological abuse as a kid, it led to a diaper fetish.

    There's no way you can know that for certain. It's just as likely, if not more so, that there is absolutely no connection and you'd be a diaper lover even if you hadn't been molested by your uncle. I was never sexually molested yet I've had this fetish for as long as I can remember. Many people use diapers as an object of comfort for all sorts of psychological trauma. That doesn't mean that the psychological trauma caused the attraction/attachment to diapers.



    Quote Originally Posted by theroadlesstraveled View Post
    My wife seems to think that I got my attraction to the diapers from getting raped and molested and because of that it ruins everything.
    I'm guessing this is also what you thought when you told your wife about your childhood sexual abuse and your diaper fetish. You created a negative association in her mind by suggesting that the abuse caused the fetish, which in reality is rarely the case. But it's difficult to get rid of negative associations once they've been established.

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