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Thread: What a relief!!

  1. #1

    Default What a relief!!

    I did it! I finally came out to my girlfriend about my DLism. It was a long nervous process frought with panic and worry. I assured her that my coming out to her was infact the highest honor, trustwise, that i could bestow on someone. Were always open to adventure in the covers but we've had issues talking outright which made it crazy difficult to open up. Its always been a trial and error situation with the ol' S'n'M. So while driving back from burningman to B.C. i started talking about the stuff shes into and segwayed into weird kinks, the flopsweat started, throat went dry, and i dove in. Im still shy about asking for what i want out of it but iv made the hardest leap. And it went well.
    So! Just as a reassurance to those struggling with this issue, it IS possible! Hang in there! love the crap out of eachother and things can go well. No assurances but my experience was stellar.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jbdl View Post
    I did it! I finally came out to my girlfriend about my DLism. It was a long nervous process frought with panic and worry. I assured her that my coming out to her was infact the highest honor, trustwise, that i could bestow on someone. Were always open to adventure in the covers but we've had issues talking outright which made it crazy difficult to open up. Its always been a trial and error situation with the ol' S'n'M. So while driving back from burningman to B.C. i started talking about the stuff shes into and segwayed into weird kinks, the flopsweat started, throat went dry, and i dove in. Im still shy about asking for what i want out of it but iv made the hardest leap. And it went well.
    So! Just as a reassurance to those struggling with this issue, it IS possible! Hang in there! love the crap out of eachother and things can go well. No assurances but my experience was stellar.
    Congratulations and I'm glad things went well. I hope things continue in that direction. I remember your original post about should you tell. One never knows how these things will work so I'm glad things are positive for you.

  3. #3

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    I WAS pretty mortified. Old girlfriend from way back was horrified when i even brought it up in casual noncomittal conversation as "a thing some people liked" The thought of trying to go the rest of my life diapering behind her back was a depressing prospect, it was one of the hardest things i'd done to date. Only problem is, im still a bit shy talking about it. You guys are the only people iv talked about it with. Shes never the most chatty about what she wants or what she thinks about that sort of thing unless i pry it out of her with a feather crowbar. Id feel a lot better if she had questions about it and i could get a bit more in depth on the subject of "deargod please diaper me before bed!!" But she just seems way too casually nochalant... Its spooky. Im still trying to work up the nerve to tell her im grabbing a 10er of abu Preschools +sdks when we get home.

  4. #4

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    Aaaaight... She has litterally never brought it up since i dropped the bomb. I feel soo weird trying to tactfully force the conversation constantly. I WANT TO TALK! WHY IS THIS SO EXHAUSTING TRYING TO GET TOU TO TALK !!! Any opinions, L? Maybe try and find out what i might want, god forbid. I mean, this behaviors not new and i appreciate that it isnt terrifying to her but (insert hollered curseword of choice) now that its out there, can we have it out there?!?!

  5. #5

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    It might not be easy for her to accept. She knows your persona from before and this new addition doesn't fit her picture of you. give her some time to assemble her thoughts and let her know that you care about her feelings too.

  6. #6

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    Knowing her, i dont think this is the case. We had a massive bonding moment when i told her. "I love you so much right now" i believe were her words.

    She can be mighty thick about the personal stuff. Im trying to lead by example. Ie, researching her turnons, probing her about the details, browsing ebay for fun stuff regarding what i was able to glean. For both of our benefits... And making sure it was super obvious that i was being proactive. Im just getting stressed, blah. Did i dream the whole thing? ... Would it even matter? Christ, girl! Make me feel like you actually give half of a crap... I would settle for half!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Knowing her, i dont think this is the case. We had a massive bonding moment when i told her. "I love you so much right now" i believe were her words.

    She can be mighty thick about the personal stuff. Im trying to lead by example. Ie, researching her turnons, probing her about the details, browsing ebay for fun stuff regarding what i was able to glean. For both of our benefits... And making sure it was super obvious that i was being proactive. Im just getting stressed, blah. Did i dream the whole thing? ... Would it even matter? Christ, girl! Make me feel like you actually give half of a crap... I would settle for half!

  7. #7

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    My wife of over 42 years together , has always know about my wetting and diapers, but I cannot for the life of me get her to talk about it with me. If you get it figured out let me know.

  8. #8

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    Not to scare you or anything because everybody's experience will definitely differ, but I can only tell you my experience. I had been married to my wife for 12 years when I finally got brave enough to tell her. It took a couple of hours to finally get it out. By the way, I'm DL only so no AB stuff at all.

    When I finally got the words out, my wife was suprirsingly accepting. She said "it's not something I am into, but if it's what you like and it hurts nobody, then I'm fine with it". We talked about it a little more before going to bed and that was it. I was so happy that my wife finall knew and was okay with it.

    The next morning, I woke up and left for work before she was up and I was still flying high. Then I got a text midway through the day saying that she can't pretend to be okay with something she finds so repulsing and we needed to talk when I got home. So I get home after work and she is crying. She tells me that something is wrong with me if I like to wear diapers and I must be possessed by the devil. She told me that I have to choose her and the kids or my diapers. If I chose to keep wearing, she was going to leave me. Obviously, I chose my family so I promised to stop.

    A couple of weeks went by and I hadn't worn, but I wanted to. You can just tell she saw me differently though and wouldn't touch me or even look at me straight in the eyes. But one day she came up to me and said she was wrong for taking something away from me that I enjoyed and it really does hurt nobody. So she gave me the okay to wear again. She even said I can diaper up at home before work and take it off at home as soon as I got there. She just didn't want to see them. That was okay with me.

    So the next day, I diapered up in the morning, went to work, then when I can home, I kissed her hello and went to the restroom to take off my diaper and dispose of it. Didn't make a big scene about it or anything. Didn't even say that's what I was doing. Well, when I came out of the restroom with my bundled up diaper in a plastic grocery bag, she was sitting on the couch crying saying that she can't handle this and she can't deal with the fact of knowing that I was wearing a diaper all day. She again told me to throw out all my stash and stop wearing or she would leave. A bunch of yelling and crying from her happened that day and I was emotionally drained. I felt very defeated and I got rid of my stash. Because of this, I started having a little bit of resentment towards my wife because I now knew hat her love was conditional. She would only love me as long as I didn't do anything she didn't like. I actually contemplated telling her to go ahead and leave...not because I wanted to wear diapers, but because she obviously didn't love me as much as I thought if she could so quickly take the kids and leave. I didn't say it, but I thought about it a lot. Outside, I tried to remain cool and cordial and pretend like it didn't hurt me for the kids sake.

    This went on for a month or two, I don't remember, but then she came to me out of the blue and apologized. She said she would never leave me, diapers or not. She said it was just so surprising and new to her and she had a lot to think about and sort out, but after having that time, she realizes that I am still the man she fell in love with and married and she could never leave me. She told me that I can start wearing again, but gave me some boundaries. I can only do it when I'm alone. If that be at work or at home, it doesn't matter, just as long as she wasn't around. She never wants to see me in one or see my stash so I have to still keep it well hidden, although she knows it's somewhere in the garage. She also doesn't want to know if I had been wearing on any particular day.

    Basically, she knows I will wear, but she wants to keep living as if I'm not. No, it's not the ideal situation, but it's better than nothing. She will sometimes make a small joke about my diapers out of the blue which is fine with me. I would rather her acknowledge them than pretend like they are totally not there. I actually did get to wear once to bed because I had some bad diarrhea from something I had eaten and she thought it would be a good idea to have some protection for the bed's sake that night. Sure, she slept far from me that night and never touched me, but it was a small step. And that's where we are now.

    Again, I'm not saying this is what your situation is leading to, but I thought I would share my experience.

  9. #9

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    I would totally put my love of nappies over any potential relationship.

  10. #10

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    Wow congrats!!! Glad that things turned out well hehe. Wish i had a gf who is okay with my abdl side as well :P

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