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Thread: Have to define myself as incontinent if I want to continue wearing nappies.

  1. #1

    Default Have to define myself as incontinent if I want to continue wearing nappies.

    I'm in a difficult situation!

    I live in supported living for people with learning disabilities and autism. I live with three other people in a large house with separate bedrooms, shared bathroom and kitchen. It's really difficult remain discreet when I live in close vicinity to other people plus we have the staff coming and going all the time, they do nights shifts sleeping in the office in the garden. It's difficult because wearing 24/7 I generate loads of used nappies and they fill the dustbins up quickly which is shared between us all plus staffs rubbish, I tie the bags up as discreetly as possible so nothing is seen. Plus the large boxes my nappies come in fills the recycling bins up too and they have the logo and how many nappies are in the box written on them. Plus I have to time discrete times when I have my nappies delivered because 12 bags of nappies consist of a lot of boxes.

    Well understandably the staff (unsure about my housemates) have finally found out I'm wearing nappies and it was brought up in conversation today although light hearted, I admitted to needing them because of the antipsychotic medication I take which can cause incontinence and that I want to keep in private so that was the end off that, All the staff team have discussed it in the handover meeting, and you know what I'm happy about it.

    I think this pretty much defines me as incontinent now, I can't really not wear them now because if they find out I don't need them questions will be raised.

  2. #2


    if you use a wheelchair you can claim that although you have some control, it can be difficult to transfer fast enough and get pants down fast enough to avoid accidents. that is what I do. Also if you are female " they help me deal with monthly issues... pads can get turned upside down. " works. Both of these help me keep the state agency's big brother types ( oh gee look at the time...1984 already?!) at bay.

  3. #3


    what do you think would have happened if you just told them that you like wearing them

  4. #4


    I love the Attends they work well for me and I especially like the smell of the Tena wet wipes. I'm not really into AB nappies, I'm more of an Incontinence wannabee so like to smell incontinent.

  5. #5


    You should check out ID slip super,plastic backed from nappies r us then.
    Thicker than the attends and much more absorbent and are also nappies meant for incontience people.

    Plain diapers from rearz such as rearz inspire+ incontrol are plain white.
    Or Abu simple are plain white and ultra absorbent,ultra thick.

  6. #6


    Why do you "have to define [your]self as incontinent if [you] want to continue wearing nappies"? Probably half the people on this board wear nappies for a reason other than medical need. Given your living situation, the staff, and that you just returned from a psychiatric hospital (yes, I read your other post), I suspect your life is already an open book, no?

    If you're familiar with the "12 month diaper training program", I believe one of the techniques it lists is sharing your new choice of underwear with others, to reinforce continual wear by avoiding awkward followup conversations. But what if your doctor decides to change your anti-psychotic medication to help lessen your "incontinence", and this makes things much worse? Given what you've likely already been through, I would be honest with them. Forgive me if I get this wrong: you sometimes have trouble coping with adult responsibilities, and wearing nappies is comforting. Many people here would confess to the same thing, and it's no sin! And the staff may already be aware of the ABDL community. You are in the supported living environment to get better, and I feel like your plan is working against that. I'm not aware of any drug they could prescribe to lessen your interest in nappies, so I think that much will always be safe.

    BTW, I'm glad things seem to be going better for you since your discharge. If I was visiting the UK, I'd be happy to have a drink with you myself. Good luck.

  7. #7


    depends4me - thank you, you sound like a nice person!

  8. #8


    There is a similar story on Daily Diapers about this. Huh?

  9. #9


    I work as a staff member at a residential group home for adults with autism and IDD. :-) I have sporadic incontinence thanks to medication myself, so I wear, even to work, although I wear the plain/discreet nappies to work and save my cute big poofy ones for home.

    You shouldn't ever have to justify your wearing to anyone. It's the underwear you choose to wear. I hope your staff at the house continues to see it that way.

  10. #10


    I work as a Service Manager for supported living services for people with learning disabilities.

    I think you should be honest as they will likely work it out, as I totally understand privacy is extremely limited when you have continuous staff coming in and out.

    I've actually worked in services where individuals that have been diaper lovers, I know at the time the manager (I was a deputy then) really attempted to discourage it. But again, what people do in their own time is up to them and of course I totally understand the need to this fetish. The staff team will have to respect that. It would likely be written in your support plan as

    I think if you don't tell them, your going to end up into problems. As a service manager I would be seeking out further tests with a doctor, look at changes to your medication and other variable factors. You have to understand that to a Service operator we would want you to be as independent as possible and would look at a range of techniques / strategies to prevent this to enable you to not be incontinent (As you wasn't before). The last thing you want to do is change your medication is its truly working and I feel this will eventually come out / picked up on, which would be more embarrassing. I suggest just being honest.

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