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Thread: What is this?

  1. #1

    Default What is this?

    My couselor told me to write a letter to my dead mom explaining how I felt when she did certain things when she abused me physically and emotionally and how we had some nice moments together. That night I was scared she was haunting me and I was lieing in bed sweating and tossing and turning.

    For now the haunted feeling is gone as I wrote that letter last night but what I noticed was that I was crying about the things she had done which I never did before apart from the time it happened. In the past I repressed everything she did and was full of rage and bitterness.

    My dad said things get better before they get worse, am I expressing my grief about my abuse or am I getting worse? Is it more healthy to cry? Will I get over this?

  2. #2


    its healthy to cry, sometimes we dont always know exactly why we are crying at least on the surface.
    as long as you continue to confront things that upset you in life, you will get over them. it may not be today, or next year, but eventually you will be able to get past them.

    your father is right, things get worse before they get better. its a lot like walking to a spot on the beach on a really really hot day with no shoes. the sand is really hot and itchy and everything your carrying is really really heavy and it burns. but eventually you find the perfect spot by the nice cool water, and you have a towel down and shade and everything better.

    the crying signifies the start of your emotional journey to the beach, your on the road!

  3. #3


    I'm glad to hear that you're on your way. I hope that you can get all of the bad feelings that you've been holding inside to the outside. Writing it all down sounds like a great idea. So does crying about it. You'll be o.k.

  4. #4


    Just like writing things out here, the letter helps you get a better focus on what you really feel.

  5. #5


    Crying can be cathartic, and a sign that you are processing feelings you haven't fully dealt with. If it becomes a regular occurrence that is worrisome, but in this context it seems normal and healthy.

    I think writing that letter was an excellent idea, and I really hope it brings you some peace down the road. My psych had me do the same thing with a teacher who was abusive to me. I think it really helped me let go of some bitterness and the feeling of being a helpless victim.

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