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Thread: Drugs, Alcohol, and Depression

  1. #1

    Default Drugs, Alcohol, and Depression

    Hello, everyone.
    As you may (or may not) have noticed, I haven't really been on as much, and when I have been on, I've pretty much just been lurking.
    I've been thinking, ya know? Lately, I just haven't found a reason to...keep going, per say.
    Our family is seeing less and less of each other every day. My dad moved to the other side of the state to Spokane, WA...about a 6 hour drive from Seattle. My mother, brother and I have finally decided that we're going to move out from my grandparent's house, so we can get a house of our own. I wanted to move in with my dad...but that's not very likely to happen, anymore.
    In case if you haven't heard, my mother is an abusive alcoholic. She's in AlAnon right now under court order, and is under probation. We decided to move out the day after her court order is finished, and is no longer under probation, around the end of this month.
    Now, I don't know much about Law and Criminal Justice, or the court system, but to my knowledge, "No longer under Probation" means "Feel free to drink again." (Please correct me if I'm wrong; my mother never explained to me what any of this means.) This is really stressing me out. While I'm here with my grandparents, my mom can't hurt me. But if I'm living with her by'll be hell all over again.
    I've tried taking this up with the local police, but they don't have any proof, because my mom doesn't leave marks when she shoves me or kicks me. And it's not the physical abuse I'm scared about, it's the Emotional Abuse. It killed me on the inside, hearing her call me a "fat, ugly, faggot bitch" over and over, every day. And it still affects me now.

    With this stress, comes in the use of drugs and alcohol. It used to be that being a TB/DL helped my stress, just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. I've been smoking bud and drinking most every day for the past week. I've been skipping school, and not making up the work I miss. Some nights, I go out, and I don't come home until 2 or 3 in the morning. Other nights, I don't even come home at all.
    I know that I'm becoming like my mother, and I want to stop now before it gets too late, and...I'm just not sure how. No one in my family knows I'm addicted, because I keep it pretty well hidden. If I'm drunk or high, I don't go home until the next day (if I'm drunk) or later that night (if I'm high). No one cares as long as I'm home within 24 hours of when I left.

    I'm prepared to hear the hard truth, and have it hit where it hurts. I just need to know that someone cares. We need help. My family needs help. ...I need help.

  2. #2


    You're depressed so you're taking depressants. That just makes ot worse. Stop. You may not feel good for a while but if you don't it'll just keep getting worse.

  3. #3


    Is it not possible to live with your father, or with your grandparents but without your mother? Do they know what's going on between her/you? I ask because it seems your mother is the major source of stress here. From what little i can see by reading your post, i think just living away from her would lift a great burden. You said "it's not very likely" to go live at your father's... is this because of an unfixable reason?

    I won't berate you for turning to drugs/alcohol. Many others do the same, often with less stress to worry about than you. But: know that weed etc. are not going to solve a problem. Escapism does not a solution make. I don't believe there's anything inherently wrong with escapism (though that is a different discussion) but this comes with a bad side effect that you are missing school. Plenty of people party, but when the stuff cuts into important 'real life' affairs it is time to cut back. It is extremely very really i can't emphasize this enough important to finish high school or at the very least get a GED. Don't drop out. Change schools if you have to.

    If you were 18 (if your age thingie is correct) i'd say "move out ASAP!" but unfortunately it doesn't seem like that option will be there for some years. You said the "past week" in your post, but has it been going on for longer than this? If it has, it's my advice that you talk to someone (and not an internet someone, an in person someone). A friend, parent of a friend, school counselor, doctor, there are a lot of people out there who want to help and will keep it confidential. Of course it is ultimately your decision what to do - but i hope that you would make the right decision for yourself, your health, and your future.

  4. #4

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Ellipsis View Post
    Don't get sad, get laid.
    Depending on the personality, a one night stand, per se, might actually hurt more than help.

  6. #6

  7. #7


    you're absolutely right: you ARE becoming like your mother. it's scary the way these habits perpetuate themselves from generation to generation isn't it?

    what you really need is a structured, supportive environment that can keep you away from substance abuse and keep you in school. that's how you're going to become an educated, productive member of society, rather than a deadbeat alcoholic. unfortunately, it doesn't sound like there are any structured, supportive environments available to you, so your only option is to create your own structure. discipline yourself: quit drinking, quit smoking weed, and for god's sake GO TO SCHOOL. graduate with a decent GPA and then start applying for scholarships so you can go to college.

    life dealt you a pretty unfair hand, and it's going to take a lot of work to dig yourself out of the hole your family dug you into. think how proud of yourself you'll be, though, when you overcome the poisonous patterns that have been forced on you.

  8. #8


    Focus on your education and getting that sorted out, make being able to support yourself a high-priority goal in your life. By having a successful career and being a well educated person you can break away from the cycle that has unfortunately been pressed upon you. The motivation may be hard to muster and focus may be hard to come by, but you aren't completely out of options. Most school's will help students with difficulties at home and they can provide a good framework for support which will certainly ease you through your coursework, and possibly help you out with any emotional challenges you are facing. Even so, making the school aware of your situation could possibly lead them to helping you sort things out with your mother.

    The key is gaining independence with support, they go hand-in-hand and don't work as effectively if you only have one of the other. But for now, help yourself by getting off the mind-altering substances and go back to school.

  9. #9


    What the other guys above has said is really true. School is your route away from the problems you are having. The drugs and alcohol only appear to help at the time, they won't help long term, as I am sure you know. Especially if you are into hard drinking at such a young age, your body isn't ready to tolerate it yet and can make the health problems you can get from drinking all the more likely.

    The most important thing you can do is not go through this alone. Is there someone you can talk to about your problems: doctor, nurse, school counsellor, teacher or whatever. There is help available and people will want to help you. The fact that you have made this post shows that you have made that first step, just keep trying and keeping following the right path one step at a time. It isn't easy, but it will be worth it.

    Good luck!

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