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Thread: The need for assistance

  1. #1

    Default The need for assistance

    Anyone here who required a CNA or a home care nurse feel embarrassed still. I don't think I accepted it yet.

  2. #2

    Default

    Yes I have had one for 8 years , it takes some adjustment , in the early days I would not let my aide change me or see me in a diaper, which when I look back now was comical because at the time I was paralyzed and could not tape them on, so I would have them use a ruler to measure where the tapes should go and prepare a pile of them and then I would worm my way into them when they needed changed, a lot of wasted effort and energy, because of modesty, now I don't care if I need help changing or doing whatever , that's what they are paid for , the modesty and shame filter have been disabled , even things like helping me in and out of my chair or bed used to be off limits ( that is until I tried doing it alone and ended up flat on my ass ,and they would have to come pick me up, once I even broke three ribs trying to be more independent than I should have ( broken ribs just have to hurt and heal over time , but breathing or moving even the littlest can be agony ) we are very weird when it comes to pride and modesty and asking for help, it takes a while to adjust especially if you were ever able bodied , I was a professional carer as a job , and had to learn to be cared for and about in the academy during training they always emphasized that an unprepared rescuer that becomes a victim only makes things worse, which I'd true and statistics show that happens all to often, yet when you have permanent transition from "rescuer" to "victim" surrendering that mindset is tough mental and emotional work, I suppose if it was due to age it would have been easier but when you suddenly in the prime of life have to switch rolls it's hard, in another community I mentor Aides and CNA trainees on how it feels to be on this side of the equation , and how to resolve issues with patients so that it is a win-win situation for the patient and caregiver, there are lots of caregivers who have never thought about the emotional impact that having a disability puts on a person . We never want to be or feel like a "burden" and resolving that is hard work, and sometimes we never accomplish that . It helps a lot to take each day individually , some days I can do more , and some less, but we're you are mentally changes everyday also. best thing to do with a helper of any kind is to talk to them about who you are and we're and what you have done in your life, the better the understand your life experiences, the better they can help you without stepping on your toes.

    Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by stacy122 View Post
    Anyone here who required a CNA or a home care nurse feel embarrassed still. I don't think I accepted it yet.
    There is no shame in needing a CNA/PCA to attend to your personal sanitary needs like changing yourr diapers when they are wet, poopy or both.

  4. #4

    Default

    I agree that there is no need for shame, but just because there is no need to feel ashamed, many of us still do and it takes a while to overcome negative feelings. Some Aides are very caring and discrete, but sometimes their attitude seems to draw more attention to the process of dealing with the not very pleasant material we call human waste.

    Other carers are much more matter of fact and just get the job done as quickly and effectively as possible. I think this is a better approach that contributes to personal dignity more effectively.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Tetra View Post
    Yes I have had one for 8 years , it takes some adjustment , in the early days I would not let my aide change me or see me in a diaper, which when I look back now was comical because at the time I was paralyzed and could not tape them on, so I would have them use a ruler to measure where the tapes should go and prepare a pile of them and then I would worm my way into them when they needed changed, a lot of wasted effort and energy, because of modesty, now I don't care if I need help changing or doing whatever , that's what they are paid for , the modesty and shame filter have been disabled , even things like helping me in and out of my chair or bed used to be off limits ( that is until I tried doing it alone and ended up flat on my ass ,and they would have to come pick me up, once I even broke three ribs trying to be more independent than I should have ( broken ribs just have to hurt and heal over time , but breathing or moving even the littlest can be agony ) we are very weird when it comes to pride and modesty and asking for help, it takes a while to adjust especially if you were ever able bodied , I was a professional carer as a job , and had to learn to be cared for and about in the academy during training they always emphasized that an unprepared rescuer that becomes a victim only makes things worse, which I'd true and statistics show that happens all to often, yet when you have permanent transition from "rescuer" to "victim" surrendering that mindset is tough mental and emotional work, I suppose if it was due to age it would have been easier but when you suddenly in the prime of life have to switch rolls it's hard, in another community I mentor Aides and CNA trainees on how it feels to be on this side of the equation , and how to resolve issues with patients so that it is a win-win situation for the patient and caregiver, there are lots of caregivers who have never thought about the emotional impact that having a disability puts on a person . We never want to be or feel like a "burden" and resolving that is hard work, and sometimes we never accomplish that . It helps a lot to take each day individually , some days I can do more , and some less, but we're you are mentally changes everyday also. best thing to do with a helper of any kind is to talk to them about who you are and we're and what you have done in your life, the better the understand your life experiences, the better they can help you without stepping on your toes.

    Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk
    How does your cna approach the diaper change?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  6. #6

    Default

    CNAs probably have plenty of experience in regard to changing diapers. I think they try to make it not a big deal because (should) it's one of those things that are common and they know that there's a lot of embarrassment, so they carry on like it's normal.

  7. #7

    Default

    Very low key , like just another routine part of the day, there's more of an issue in the morning because every day is different as are when or if I sleep and how much I pain I have in the morning , the rest of the day it's just a normal thing , we have more of an issue of what's for lunch or dinner , I am a foodie and love spices and different ways of preparing things and he has to get used to that, he is fine with a gas station burrito or a frozen Pizza whereas I like to make it myself ( or to teach him how to make it ) .

    Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

  8. #8

  9. #9

    Default

    According to the way I was raised a guest in the house is an "honor" and in the early days I spent more time trying to ensure my Aides were OK, then I allowed them to help me, I'm over that now !

    Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

  10. #10

    Default

    Anyone ever experience their caregivers burning out?

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