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Thread: Some advice/Relationships

  1. #1

    Smile Some advice/Relationships

    Hello All.

    I was wondering if you all could please give me some advice on my situation

    I am going to be marrying the love of my life in a couple of months, he is still really shy about opening up to me about AB/DL. He means the world to me and I want him to be completely comfortable talking to me about his wants/needs/whatever.

    As AB/DL's do you have trouble opening up to your significant other or whomever about this? What helps? Anything I shouldn't say or do?

    I just want my baby to be as happy and as comfortable as can be<3

    thank you all for the advice in advanced!

    The (soon to be) wife

  2. #2


    All I can say is be patient with him . Talking about abdl it is a process and it takes time or in this case his own time .

    Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

  3. #3


    Probably the best thing you can do is set him at ease about it. Many of us have held these secret desires since we were kids, and it's hard opening the door to let someone in. A LOT depends on (sorry about that...) your guy. Some crave a mommy, but how many women, in their right minds, want to play mommy/child for 50 years? If he's AB, chances are he'll be oriented that way, but, if he's smart, he'll realize he's lucky to have a partner WILLING to PLAY, as long as the work is done, the kids are fed, the mortgage is paid, and the cars are cleaned. Obviously, some AB's don't get it...

    If he's DL, then it'll be more about wearing, and using, but not so much about baby items, although some (myself included) have fantasies about forced regression. Sometimes just the wearing takes care of the need, but more likely there'll probably still be a need to visit sites, view pictures, read others experiences, etc. The brave do munches, and get together with other ABDL's, but that's not a requirement to be happy, just icing on the cake.

    Obviously, communication is the key. Non-judgemental communication. Tell him your fantasies, too! You're as big of a part in the relationship as he is, so SHARE your deepest desires, then lay out a plan to fulfill each other's dreams. Intuition is important, too. Knowing what's working, and what's not, and being willing to be flexible enough to keep things positive.

    Also, let him explain what it all means to him, and what he THINKS he needs from you. This will certainly change & evolve over time. Don't think just because things are changing, you're doing something wrong. We honestly do evolve, as we find someone to share this with. What once was super secret, now evolves into a lifestyle arrangement that can last for decades. Try not to push so hard to "understand" everything, because very likely he doesn't quite understand himself fully. We're all in this sort of conflict over whether to be adult-like or child-like, because the clothing tends towards the child, but we can't escape our adult-sized bodies, and all of the adult problems in life.

    Hope this helps. Been married 28 years, but have lived with my infantilism since I was a toddler. I always hoped it would just go away, but the needs & desires only grew stronger, the older I got, eventually merging with my sexuality, to become the adult me. I married a wonderful vanilla that might have initially thought marriage would eliminate the diaper desires, but they just morphed into something slightly different, and we adjusted, and learned how to cope. Now I wear freely, and she doesn't worry that I'll turn into a diapered baby, but, instead, I'm just a calmer, more understanding diapered husband, father, grandfather, uncle, etc. You can make this work! I wish you well!


  4. #4


    He is more than likely weary (excuse the pun!) right before the marriage; anyone would be. He is probably aware that this is a strange kink, with undesirable aspects to it. And he wants to protect you from it encase it is a deal breaker.
    Chances are, he loves you very very much, & within that love lies a latent disbelief that a girl as amazeballs as you would want to marry him! He doesn't want to loose you over such a vulnerable & uncontrollable trait. And I can see why. Even now, right before your marriage, your concerns aren't for yourself, but for him. Which is commendable.

    If you want to get him to open up about the most shameful aspect of himself, you have to re-enforce trust & confidence. It is not easily given because I suppose it requires faith in oneself. It takes time & devotion. If you have a kink too, that always helps level the playing field! But I can just tell by your attitude that you will make an incredible wife, & that if he is to ever open up to anyone about this embarrassing affliction, it will be you. Just keep showing your love for each other, encourage wacky behaviour for comfort to ramify, & your love for each other shall flourish. That's the important thing, & you're doing a fantastic job of it already!
    And now, on a personal level.. Sooooo Jelous of you guys!! Omg! Polish the Church Bells! lol! x x

  5. #5


    (free advice is worth every penny) Since this has come up before you are married, I would say just don't really expect it to change/go away/disappear. (I thought my DL fetish would go away after I married, looking back, that's VERY naive) I think that marriage takes a lot of compromise and commitment, so if your not up for that, maybe think twice. But if you are past that point, and you are moving forward with this, then congrats!

    So I would say to try and listen without judgement when you talk about anything ABDL, because it's always weird to talk about. Also don't really force talking about it, because it's something that I've been ingrained to hide, it's always super awkward to have any sort of discussion about it. So yeah, it's mostly marriage type advice, talk, listen, communicate, try and be the best for the other person, stuff like that.

    I would also issue a word of caution of using things you find online as references (like that crazy book "There's a baby in my bed") because everyones spectrum of what they like or why they do it so varied. So that's why I'd reiterate the importance of having a safe dialogue with your spouse,

  6. #6


    First, congratulations on the upcoming marriage. I think he's most fortunate to have found you and I'm sure you feel the same in finding him.

    It took me quite a long time to be able to talk to my wife about wearing diapers or feeling little", but over time it has become easier for both of us. In the beginning, I was very uncomfortable saying the word diaper and the same was true with my wife, but the more you use the words associated with wearing diapers and regression, the easier it becomes. I would start slowly and in both of your comfort zones.

    Sometimes my wife will call me her little one, and sometimes she'll refer to me as a baby. It just takes time and finding a little courage to do it. It gets easier the more you do it. She started by calling our dog, "baby puppy" and then I reacted saying, "Hey, I'm the baby", stuff like that. Everything has a start or a beginning. After that, it becomes an interesting journey. Good luck.

  7. #7


    Congratulations on your upcoming marriage.

    I can only suggest one thing that many open things up between you both. Ask him to show his AB/DL side. If he has clothing or other things ask him to show them to you.

    Do not be judgemental for what he shows you especially if you ask.

    You may not be as enthusiastic about the things as he is. Let him tell you about the things. Be open minded about what you see and hear. This could be a place you could ask him to dress for you. Just sit and talk to him for a while when he is dressed. That may relieve some of his stress and give you some understanding about his desires. The most important thing is acceptance for both of you.

    At some point in time you can work out when and how often you will enjoy this type of interaction. Being an everyday adult still will have to come first.

    If you love him things will work out for both of you.

    I know for myself, back in my 20's I had a woman friend who did this with me. I have memories of sitting there dressed in a diaper while answering questions about my desires. It was very stressful until I realized I was not being judged. She actually seemed interested in me, my feelings, and my things. As I sat beside her she ask if I was cold. I wasn't cold, I was so nervous I was shaking. The next time we met she just took me by the hand and made me her baby. I did like the way she brought the AB/DL side of me out into the open. Sadly she was not the one who became my wife. She moved away for work related reasons and I did not follow her.

  8. #8


    For some we started at a young age .
    I do not know how old he is but or how his love for diapers started .
    In my case mine started at 6 or 7.
    Most of my life I hid my love for diapers the secret about what I did alone.
    So we hide our stuff from our parents out of fear and some times shame .
    For some we do not know why we are hooked on wearing a diaper or being a baby.
    Just love him be his best friend most of all let him open up in his own way and time.
    He may feel shame in wearing feel like something is wrong with him.
    Most of all afraid of you rejecting him because of his love of diapers.
    It depends on if he has accepted being an ab/dl he may not have yet.
    If not he could go through binge purge cycle's .
    So communication is key !

    Have patient's he will open up in his own time when he feels comfortable doing so.
    There a book that can help I learned so much about my self not all of us fit in what she said but some of us do.
    Mabey read it together mite help a lot to start the ball rolling.

    The title is There is a baby in my bed .
    By Roslyn Bent.
    Or some ageplay books may help too.
    We are all Unique Individuals we may have some of the same traits but we all come from this from different angles so you will find that yes some of us are into the same things . But not necessarily can be said that all ab/dl do this or like this thing.
    We just dont fit in the same color box lol.

    Your one special person he's very lucky man .
    Most of all have a great life together we are glad to give our insite to you both.
    Welcome to the AB/DL melting pot .

  9. #9


    Some advice would be to allow him to open up when he is ready. He may be reluctant for fear of losing you, H must love you a lot because you know and his secret and haven't run away in fear. When it is appropriate let him know that you understand and that it doesn't make you love him any less and that if he wants to talk about it you will be willing to do so.

  10. #10


    While I'm not getting married I can kind of relate to him, I just met a wonderful lady that is over the top when it comes to abdl stuff, she seems to like being a mommy and it's totally freaking me out, I thought I was ready for this but now everyday that goes by I'm getting more and more anxious and scared... Like what do I do? Is this really me? How do I get all my feelings out? ect..
    I trying to do the time will tell for me thing atm, I guess I want to hear everything is gonna be all right take your time thing from her.

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