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Thread: Aspergian?

  1. #1

    Default Aspergian?

    I can't tell if I am Aspergian or not. I've never been diagnosed, but I tend to relate particularly well to those who have.

    To my own perception, I think in very logical terms. In fact, I see most people as being impaired in this regard. Most people are logically challenged. They can't seem to follow what for me is obvious...

    At the same time, it is clear that I am missing social cues (probably I'm expecting too much logic / reasoning behind them). It has been brought to my attention that Aspergians have a tendency to view people as inherently mean, due to their experience... and indeed. this is my perception of people. They will hurt you if they can. Why? Just for the fun of it. People like to hurt. It's in their nature...

  2. #2

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    Maybe it's time to get a professional opinion, especially if you think life could be better for you. Anything that hinders one's happiness should be addressed, though you haven't said you are unhappy. Do you have friends that you socialize with and are you usually a happy person?

  3. #3

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    I myself have Asperger's Syndrome.
    I did not get diagnosed until age 47.


  4. #4

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    Did your asperger mind make you think that people was have nature for likes to do something mean action or this is just you bad experience with someone so you take your own decision about people. For me personally I don't think logically that the people is inherently mean, but mean itself caused by the need or personal experience of every man themselves physically and mentally. if indeed there are people who like to hurt, does not mean they are or human was born into the world as a wicked man. Essentially all depends on each person themself. You cannot take a decision that everyone is mean simply because your own perception and experience, to be honest people themselves trying to be good in the eyes of others but it depends by that person itself, they can or cannot, doesn't mean that every human being nature had mean inherently.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Maybe it's time to get a professional opinion, especially if you think life could be better for you. Anything that hinders one's happiness should be addressed, though you haven't said you are unhappy. Do you have friends that you socialize with and are you usually a happy person?
    I'm a perpetual outcast. I have a very short list of friends, people I have been close to for a very long time. Aside from that, I don't socialize. It is difficult for me to relate to people as a rule, as they seem to make no sense.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AEther View Post
    Did your asperger mind make you think that people was have nature for likes to do something mean action or this is just you bad experience with someone so you take your own decision about people. For me personally I don't think logically that the people is inherently mean, but mean itself caused by the need or personal experience of every man themselves physically and mentally. if indeed there are people who like to hurt, does not mean they are or human was born into the world as a wicked man. Essentially all depends on each person themself. You cannot take a decision that everyone is mean simply because your own perception and experience, to be honest people themselves trying to be good in the eyes of others but it depends by that person itself, they can or cannot, doesn't mean that every human being nature had mean inherently.
    I have had many bad experiences with people, and the Copernican principle suggests that my experiences are not random. People like to be mean. It's fun for them. It's just how they are. Anyone who does not see it lives in a bubble.

  6. #6

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    In particular, I am not evil. I don't enjoy hurting people, and this makes me very difficult to relate to. It is the critical difference between myself and others.

    It is difficult for people to wrap their minds around someone who doesn't enjoy hurting. It's a foreign concept. It doesn't make sense. It's what everyone does...

    This is why I am an outcast. I will never be mean.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    In particular, I am not evil. I don't enjoy hurting people, and this makes me very difficult to relate to. It is the critical difference between myself and others.

    It is difficult for people to wrap their minds around someone who doesn't enjoy hurting. It's a foreign concept. It doesn't make sense. It's what everyone does...

    This is why I am an outcast. I will never be mean.
    I don't know if you're critically misinterpreting the actions of most others or if you've just been very unlucky or both but most people are not particularly into hurting others. I won't deny that enjoyment of cruelty is a thing but if it were as widespread as you appear to believe, I don't see how society would function. It's not because we're wonderful, benificient beings but most of us are simply involved in our own worlds enough not to bother being mean. That takes effort and for most of us, it's not rewarding.

    Postscript: one other possibility is that you are on the autism spectrum and enough so that your behavior irritates people. This is a possible way that people might legitimately be negatively disposed toward you but even that is going to be based in frustration rather than malice most of the time if it is actually the case.
    Last edited by Trevor; 03-Sep-2016 at 15:54. Reason: one more thought

  8. #8

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    Well, I know nothing about aspergers, but I know most people are generally out for themselves (selfish). In some cases, this comes off as mean, snarky, & sneaky, and other times they'll just say hi, then stab you in the back. The internet has upped that process tenfold! It's life, and it sucks, but most of us that have lived long enough just realize you can't change how people act. Only they can change themselves. It's best not to read too much into their actions, but just be a better, calmer you.

    Like Sapphire, i tend to be a social outcast, but when I reflect on those that make me feel that way, i realize they're really the ones that are F'd up, not me. When I make a new friend, they tend to be calm, intelligent, self-secure, and established in their lives, and they aren't seeking to harm me, to benefit themselves. Those friends are worth keeping. Back-stabbers are not...

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    I don't know if you're critically misinterpreting the actions of most others or if you've just been very unlucky or both but most people are not particularly into hurting others. I won't deny that enjoyment of cruelty is a thing but if it were as widespread as you appear to believe, I don't see how society would function. It's not because we're wonderful, benificient beings but most of us are simply involved in our own worlds enough not to bother being mean. That takes effort and for most of us, it's not rewarding.

    Postscript: one other possibility is that you are on the autism spectrum and enough so that your behavior irritates people. This is a possible way that people might legitimately be negatively disposed toward you but even that is going to be based in frustration rather than malice most of the time if it is actually the case.
    You're wrong about that. And it will be used against you. It IS rewarding. Most people are cruel because they don't want to be honest with themselves. If you don't think most people enjoy hurting others, you're out to lunch, Being mean, causing pain to others, is validating in its own way, It proves that the other person isn't better than you.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    You're wrong about that. And it will be used against you. It IS rewarding. Most people are cruel because they don't want to be honest with themselves. If you don't think most people enjoy hurting others, you're out to lunch, Being mean, causing pain to others, is validating in its own way, It proves that the other person isn't better than you.
    You are entitled to your opinion, although I think it's a sadly self-reinforcing one. Assuming ignorance or misunderstanding first over malice has served me very well over the course of my life. Your position, while it may be based in brutal experience simply doesn't pass a basic test of reason. A site like this wouldn't exist in the world you propose, much less multiple sites and places where people give of their time and experience to help others routinely.

    I don't intend to belittle what you have experienced, merely to suggest that by interpreting your world in this negative manner, you harm yourself as you attempted to do here in other threads when well-meaning people disagreed with you. To your credit, you learned that we are (in the vast majority) not malicious. I think the odds here are better but in the real world it's a matter of a much higher incidence of indifference rather than negativity.

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