I am a Diaper Lover for sure. I’m not really into the Adult Baby part of the scene, even though I greatly enjoy wearing a diaper. No bottle or anything like that. Hell, no one to even participate with me. My wife is completely aware of my situation but does not want anything to do with it. She recognizes that I apparently need diapers for my emotional well-being, but does not understand why I take comfort to diapers, honestly, neither do I. When I was younger, around 9…I remember taking my little sisters diapers and putting them on and running around outside. No one ever noticed, or at least if they did, no one said anything. I only did this once, and I have no idea why I did or what made me even consider it in the first place.
A few years later I shattered my wrist which caused nerve damage past my shoulder. I was on heavy medication and was not allowed to get out of bed. My parent chose the use of diapers while I was in the hospital (maybe they did notice all of the years ago) and even when I was released a few days later. I wore diapers for a week after I left the hospital while I was recovering at home. I was restricted from movement because my wrist had to remain above my heart at all time to prevent swelling around the break. When I was cleared to return to school, the diapers stopped. I was thankful at the time, but soon began to miss the attention.
Another few years go by and I began to realize that I was missing something…a feeling that I did not understand. Just then, a diaper commercial aired on the television and right at that point…I understood what that feeling was. I soon built the courage to walk to H.E.B. and purchase my first package of adult diapers. I was extremely nervous and that I was being judged every passing second I was in the store. To think about it, I was only 15 years old buying adult diapers. I seriously doubt that anyone believed they were for me. They may have even thought to themselves…”someone sent their kid in to buy their diapers.” …or not. I walked through the alley on my way back home to try and conceal my movements. Before I left the house, I lowered a rope from my upstairs bedroom to allow me to “sneak” my diapers into the house. My diapers. Did I just say that? So I tied the plastic grocery bag to the rope, and ran up the stairs to my room and pulled the bag up promptly. Once I had the diapers in my room my heart began to race, probably faster than it has even done before. I quickly pull the package out of the plastic bag as I thought plastic was drawing unwanted attention. Slid the pack of diapers under my bed and went to sit in the living area with everyone else. Trying to let the “heat” cool down before making my next move.
Later that evening I played it off like I was tired and said I was going to bed. It may have been around eight or nine in the evening on a Friday night, so no one even thought twice about it. I went upstairs into my room and just laid in bed. I was so nervous to even look at the diapers that hid beneath my bed. After twenty or so minutes, I slid off my bed trying to make as little noise as possible. I grab the diapers and slowly opened the package. Pulling one diaper out of the package seemed to make more noise than the plastic grocery bag used to sneak the package in. I’m just paranoid now. I opened the diaper and just stared at it, thinking…”what the hell am I doing? ” I then undressed and then put the diaper on as quickly as I could. The diapering process…very loud. Remember the old Depend diapers? Pretty loud if my memory serves me correctly. Once I was all dressed in my pajamas wearing a diaper instead of my underwear, I drifted to sleep. I awoke the next day having felt like I had the best sleep of my life. I had a great deal of energy and couldn’t believe I had pulled it off. I wore a diaper to bed, can you believe it?
Things went on pretty much like this for quite some time. I wore wear a diaper when I get home from school, on weekends, whenever I felt like it while in the privacy of my own house. It wasn’t until I was in my twenties that I began to wear a diaper out in public. Talk about being freaked out, nervous, and anxious all while being calm, mellow, and just about as chilled out as possible. It was exhilarating! I would wear diapers whenever I wanted to. I was always on the “geeky” side, so I didn’t date much. I have had a few girlfriends but none of them knew about it at all. This one time (not at band camp) I went on one date with this girl I met online in a Yahoo! chat room. We went to the park and talked a bit, then we went to the “movies”. We were making out and she started to reach for me, I stopped her and told her I was wearing a diaper. (Okay – let me step in here. This was the first time that I had ever worn a diaper on a date and it was intentional.) She froze and sat back. Just the reaction I was expecting. I could see how uncomfortable she was, and I felt horrible for my actions. I decided it was time to end the date and I drove her home. On the way back we talked about me wearing a diaper. I told her that I needed them, but didn’t say way. She asked if they were like the diapers her son wore; I replied with “basically, but without all of the designs”. She began to ask more questions that made it seem like she was weighing her options. Once I got her home, she stepped out of my truck and began to walk away. Then she stopped and turned back, looked at me…then walked inside. About a six day later, she messaged me saying that she was okay with me wearing a diaper if I wanted a second date. I was too nervous for a second date and never replied. I know, I’m an ass, aren’t?
I met my wife online as well, on eHarmony. We went through all of the steps eHarmony suggested to find our true match, which meant that we took the time to know one another. After a long online exchange of communication, we decided to meet each other. I loved her at first site. I realty needed this. I was beginning to think that I would never meet anyone and that I was going to be a bachelor my entire life. I know that is just crazy talk, but you know how confusing life can be. After a long time of no success in the dating area, I considered simply falling into my love for diapers. I bought two cases of diapers, they were cheap diapers but a bunch of them. Over one-hundred and sixty, which I would begin to wear 24/7 until further notice. The case arrived and I was going to throw all of my underwear away, and fill my dresser drawer full of diapers.
I was very serious. Then I met her. My wife. My love. After a few dates, and my love her grew I decided that I would throw away all of the diapers that I had bought and give this dating thing another try. Then she got pregnant. It was a shock, but we talked about it. I told her how I felt about her. I proposed to her. She said yes. I’m getting married! We moved into together and started our lives together. Yes, our relationship started quickly and we had a lot to learn about each other. I love her with everything that I am. I never told her about my diaper fetish, and I was intent of keeping it from her. That didn’t work. She found it without even looking for it. The culprit, web history. My fault, I did not delete the history, and my computer was faster so we used it. She confronted me while we were in the pool and I told her about it. She, of course, thought that it may have something to do with children. I quickly laid that worry to rest as it most certainly does not. I told her that I like to wear diapers as it made me feel better than ever before. I woke up in the middle of the night one evening to a wet bed. I had taken some diuretics earlier in the afternoon and it caused me to wet the bed. Great! I just wet the bed that my wife and I sleep in. I woke her, and explained what happened…and we changed the sheets. I gathered a few towels and laid them under me. My wife knew that I had to have diapers somewhere and said that she knows I want to wear one, and for me to go put it on. I looked at her for confirmation, then I did just that. Sure enough, I woke up in the middle of the night to a soaked diaper. My wife was surprised that I soaked the diaper so quickly. I changed into another one and went back to sleep and slept until the alarm went off. Wet again, what was in that diuretic? Considering the past evening, I decided that I was going to wear a diaper to work. My wife protested the entire idea of wearing a diaper to work. When I got home from work, my wife and I went shopping. We stopped her, we stopped there. I am still wearing a diaper, and they have served their purpose. One of our stops were at CVS Pharmacy, and I got real nervous because I was out of diapers at home. While walking around the store while she shops for nail polish and such, I asked her if she would be opposed to me buying a pack of diapers. Of course, she asked why, and I told her that I was out and that I needed more. She then asked why I needed more, and I told her because I have a problem. Reluctantly, she agreed to the purchase of the diapers and told me to go get them. So I did. I grabbed a package of adult diapers and headed back to her and asked if she were ready to check out. She looked at me and said that she is still shopping for a few more items. I followed her around wearing a diaper, carrying more diapers while she shops. Maybe I should have waited until she was done shopping before grabbing the diapers. When we checked out, she placed her items on the counter…nail polish remover, cotton balls, nail file, and such…I am buying diapers. Again, what the hell am I thinking?
One the way home I explain to her that I think if I were to where the diapers as if I actually needed them, then it might break the addiction. She then stated that she wanted nothing to do with it, but I should do what I needed to do. So I wore a diaper (only to pee in) until the package was gone. I wore them to work, to the store, the outside flea market, everywhere. One evening my wife and I were shopping at Target, and my diaper began to leak. I asked if we could swing by the house before we headed to the next store. I do not think she knew my diaper was leaking, but she knew what I wanted to swing by the house. She simply said sure, and we did just as soon as we check out of Target. After I changed my diaper and put on new pants, we went to a few adult stores looking for things and such. I couldn’t believe that we went into these types of stores and I am wearing a diaper. We did purchase some items, then ended our night of shopping. When we got home, we got dressed for bed and turned on the television to watch anything before drifting off to sleep. Just then I grabbed a toy that we purchased and we began to make out. This turned into a great evening for her, but I was still in a diaper and more interested in giving her a great and wonderful evening. I mean think about it. She has put up with me wearing a diaper everywhere, and what is she getting out it? After about a week, the package of diapers were gone. I remember my wife said that she was proud of me for following through with wearing the entire package of diapers. By the end, I was ready to get out of diapers. I looked forward to underwear again. Just the thought of underwear was exciting. I stopped wearing diapers for about three months.
The urge came back tenfold. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I talked to my wife about it, and I told her that I needed to buy more diapers, and of course she didn’t understand why but agreed anyways. I was under so much stress I couldn’t take it anymore. I went out and bought a pack of cheap CVS brand diapers, went home and put one on just as fast as I could. Bam! It was like someone just lifted all of my worries and stresses off of my shoulders. I could see the light again. It allowed me to step back and take a look at all of the issues I had to deal with, but from a more controlled environment. There is something about wearing a diaper that corrects an imbalance and allows me to function more efficiently with more patience than ever. So events pretty much stayed the same for some time. If I were stressed, I would diaper up. If I couldn’t sleep, I would wear a diaper and get the best night sleep ever. Each and every night I wear a diaper to sleep, the next day is just dandy!
This is why my wife and I think that seeking professional help may be ideal. We now have three children, a dog, a house, car notes, you know standard bills. Life is great but stressful! I find that I am wearing diapers for weeks at a time now. Everything is great when I am diapered, except the fact that I am wearing a diaper. I only use the diaper to urinate…nothing else. Yes, I am easier to become aroused when I am wearing a diaper, but that is because I am feeling normal and not stressed out about everything. Of course, my wife pretty much won’t touch me when I am in a diaper. I do not expect her to. I mean we hug, we kiss, we make out…but her hands stay above my waist at all times. It is not her thing. She does not like the idea of me wearing diapers but understands the effects they have on me. Well – as best as anyone could I guess.
So this is me in a nutshell. This has provided an insight as to who I am, and why I wear diapers. I am currently seeking professional assistance but haven’t found anyone yet. I had a free consultation with a professional and outright told them my issue…and they pretty much said that it was not their area and would not accept me. Aren’t doctors supposed to help? Do I need help?
Thank you for your time.