overcoming shame at being IC

I'm incontinent due to congenital disability and wheelchair use. My family and school prided my continence and shamed me when I went (anger, humiliation).

It'd help me to hear from others of how they overcame their shame of being incontinent. thanks:sweatdrop::chin::beg:

Shame is one thing I never felt when becoming incontinent. I can't help it so why feel shame.

I am not ashamed, it's just a need whether it's emotional or physical. To me it's just normal and it feels like I am not dressed without a diaper plus I have accidents

Pardon my bluntness, but if they are shaming you for having incontinence they are just being dicks and deserve to be told as such. They (I presume?) wouldn't shame someone for needing DME (Durable Medical Equipment) such as eyeglasses, or a hearing aid, or a cast on a broken leg. Why do they feel it is appropriate to shame someone for needing DME to manage their medical condition that has incontinence as a symptom?

To answer your second part, I overcame my shame by just owning it basically. I say it how it is etcetera. On the rare occasion that someone asks me why I always carry my laptop bag around I flat out tell them it is for my diapers. I don't go out of my way to hide that I wear diapers or anything (I don't go out of my way to make it visible either). If you go in confident and treat them as something that isn't shameful people will tend to react accordingly, and if they don't then they aren't the kind of people I would want to interact with in any case.

If you are currently being shamed, that is a serious issue to address. However, if you are still dealing with the feelings developed as a child, then us ABDL friends are a great resource because we love you the way you are and are proud of the way you are. We would not be here interacting if you weren't this way. How many people spend more money on cigarettes or coffee per day than a child spends in diapers? It is well worth the money to properly care for an ABDL. I'm sure it brings us more pleasure than cigarettes or coffee ever bring anybody.

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Incontinence is no different from any other medical condition and should be treated as such. These people who shame you for something out of your control know nothing of the struggles you go through and likely won't understand until something of similar caliber happens to them or a close loved one.

Especially in a wheelchair! It's like people expect you to magically be able to stand or have someone take you to the restroom 24/7

People in that mindset are bad in the heart and should be paid no mind to. There's nothing wrong with you and sooner or later if those people ever make it to old age, or God forbid something happens to them, they'll be in your shoes. And by then, they'll probably look back at their actions in shame.

You're not a misfit at all. You're a beautiful person with needs just like anyone else and there will always be people who understand and love you no matter what.

Sheepies said:

Incontinence is no different from any other medical condition and should be treated as such. These people who shame you for something out of your control know nothing of the struggles you go through and likely won't understand until something of similar caliber happens to them or a close loved one.

Especially in a wheelchair! It's like people expect you to magically be able to stand or have someone take you to the restroom 24/7

People in that mindset are bad in the heart and should be paid no mind to. There's nothing wrong with you and sooner or later if those people ever make it to old age, or God forbid something happens to them, they'll be in your shoes. And by then, they'll probably look back at their actions in shame.

You're not a misfit at all. You're a beautiful person with needs just like anyone else and there will always be people who understand and love you no matter what.

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Excellent analysis!

mainly because I've known those who use a wheelchair and also manage incontinence.

and for those who manage incontinence alone...it is much the same.

I do consider long-term incontinence as a disability in itself. Incontinence may NOT be visible
and many have no clue that we are incontinent nor how we manage it day to day.