After having a 5 day break from nappies to resolve the triggers I got from early childhood and potty training and when I was older being shamed about accidents. I reversed the triggers by having somebody in my head to tell me what a good girl I was going in the toilet and when I had an accident which I had a few of, I told myself that it's ok because I can't expect myself to know when to go all the time and that there was some clean pants waiting for me.
Here's how it went
Day 1: I wore the diaper but didn't' go in it, I comforted myself when I wet it, and said never mind, next time I might make it.
Day 2: the diaper wearing was only at night .
Day 3: I had my first trigger as it was because I no longer had diapers at all, my mind set went back to a young child and I was extremely jumpy and anxious, I then told myself that I was 18 years old and nobody can hurt me anymore and that any negative influences are now gone, that made me feel better after that. I had a trigger when I wet myself, I told myself that it was ok to have an accident as I couldn't expect myself to know when I have to go and I just changed my pants. I feel better about having an accident as I was always yelled at for it.
Day 4: I really started to miss diapers and I couldn't play as well as I could because of it.
Day 5: I realised that I belong in diapers but I am pleased I got rid of the triggers and I feel more freer and happier.
In conclusion I have decided to go back to being 24/7 as I feel that is me and that part will never be taken away from me, the point of this break was not to get myself to stop wearing diapers but to take away shame of potty training and be free in the way I express myself. I am glad I did this but I a, also glad it's over!