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Thread: What are the traits of unhealthy little/abdl behavior or lifestyle?

  1. #1

    Default What are the traits of unhealthy little/abdl behavior or lifestyle?

    What are the traits of unhealthy little/abdl behavior or lifestyle?

    I'm trying to put it into words to be able to better explain it to others, but honestly I wouldn't mind hearing what others have to say on what they think is unhealthy.

    Personally I think there is a fine line between healthy emotional release and Emotional stunting, or self control stunting.

    I am not trying to attack anyone, but this is a topic I really want feed back from, I fear the backlash from a community that is already frowned upon by outsiders. To me however its a fact, that SOME behavior IS unhealthy to personal growth or independence.


    I think that its a healthy thing to keep in mind while indulging in Little/abdl behavior, or at least its a good idea to keep an eye out for warning signs.

    Thank you for your responses, and again please do not think I am trying to imply that little/abdl behavior by default is unhealthy. that would be incredibly hypocritical of me.

  2. #2

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    Part of why I like "adult baby" as a label is that I think it illustrates the conflict many of us deal with. My rule of thumb is ongoing behavior that denigrates or devalues either side of that equation is a problem. I spent a long time denying my affinity for baby things and the feelings that went with it, which resulted in self-loathing. I think I achieved sort of an unhappy and just barely healthy point after I moved out on my own. However, it wasn't until the last decade that I started seeing this as a potentially positive aspect of my life and things have improved a great deal for me. I don't think that has come at any significant cost to my adult side, so it's not a zero sum game.

    What seems positive to me is to continue to grow and advance and find new ways to incorporate our interests and desires into that whole. I don't know where I'll end up but using the guideline that both of these aspects of my personality are important to my overall wellbeing seems like a reasonable and helpful premise.

  3. #3

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    Unhealthy would be if you started stealing money, diapers and other stuff from people, or you may wear so much you start to lose control or get an infection and you should stop for a while before it becomes worse, I guess regressing too much might also be a problem. Always being a little may not be the best choice.

  4. #4
    MarchinBunny

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    I think it really depends on the person. From my perspective, people who constantly roleplay to the point they talk like a baby or child, in situations where it's not really suited, is unhealthy behavior. Those who actually strive for a life as a baby to me is also not very good.

  5. #5

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    I agree both with Trevor and brabbit. I would also add, and I know some will disagree, but keeping my home life, sometimes the toddler me, separated from the work me, or my professional side. There seems to be a time and place for all things. Knowing when you can regress and when you shouldn't because of how in impacts on having a healthy relationship with others and the people you work with, would be paramount.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I agree both with Trevor and brabbit. I would also add, and I know some will disagree, but keeping my home life, sometimes the toddler me, separated from the work me, or my professional side. There seems to be a time and place for all things. Knowing when you can regress and when you shouldn't because of how in impacts on having a healthy relationship with others and the people you work with, would be paramount.
    I concur with your thoughts.
    There is appropriate times and places for regression, but be mindful, that regression needs to be discrete, and does not impact others personal space or comfort zones.


  7. #7

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    I think it varies by the person. "Healthy" itself doesn't have a clear meaning. At it's base, it's just not sick, capable of normal activity. But when people talk about being healthy, they really mean that a person is ably supporting themselves, has social activities with other people, keeps a relatively clean home, provides support and aid as needed to friends and loved ones, and feels generally happy. Which, actually, is kind of a lot when you think about it. That's what we all strive towards, I think, but it's hard to be healthy all the time, even without a fetish or alternative lifestyle choice.

    Anyway, for ABDL specifically, behavior is unhealthy when it interferes with other things. Are you spending every night as a baby 7 days a week and never going out socializing? That's probably unhealthy. I still say probably because if you get rip roaring drunk every time you go out, spending your nights in diapers might be the healthier alternative (and the best choice would be to learn new ways of socializing that didn't involve drinking in that situation). Is ABDL making you late to work in the morning because you can't get out of baby mode? That would be unhealthy.

    Beyond obvious cases, though, I think it's very difficult to pin down unhealthy behaviors. Hopefully Trevor won't mind if I use him as an example. He's worn 24/7 over several periods, but to the best of my knowledge, it hasn't caused him any professional or social harm and his ABDL activities have actually opened up new social opportunities for him that he's posted about finding very rewarding several times. So I wouldn't call that unhealthy at all, even though it involves lots of diapers. I'm at a point where I sleep diapered nearly every day, but I don't think I'm being unhealthy because I live alone and my diaper wearing isn't interfering with anything else I do.

    Note, by the way, that anything can be unhealthy if it has a bad effect on you. Many people eat too much when they feel bad, and that's a classic example of being unhealthy. Same for drinking. If one indulges in diapers as a way of feeling good without solving ongoing problems in your life, that's the same sort of unhealthy as eating or drinking to excess, or spending all night gaming or watching TV constantly instead of working to improve things. This makes it especially hard to answer this question because two people could be doing the exact same activities but person A might be totally fine while person B is acting in an unhealthy way because B knows that the activity is being used to put off solving a problem.

  8. #8

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    That's what I think Archieroni! I agree 100%!

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I agree both with Trevor and brabbit. I would also add, and I know some will disagree, but keeping my home life, sometimes the toddler me, separated from the work me, or my professional side. There seems to be a time and place for all things. Knowing when you can regress and when you shouldn't because of how in impacts on having a healthy relationship with others and the people you work with, would be paramount.
    I second this here. Unhealthy for me would be (and I've been to this point, admittedly) going into little space when you really need to adult. If your little-ing is interfering with you paying your bills or the healthiness of your relationships, that's usually where the line should be. It shouldn't negatively be impacting any other part of your life, you shouldn't be forcing it on people, you shouldn't bring it to work or work to it. You probably shouldn't go to school or important events in little mode, whatever. And this is coming from someone who wears (mostly) 24/7 and has been for a couple of years now. The reason why I say mostly is because I've learned through trial and error to distinguish that:
    A: just because I have a diaper on does not mean I am in Little mode.
    B: When I'm doing anything involving my income or interpersonal relationships, the Little stuff should fall to the backburner. If you're in a relationship where the other is ABDL-aware or at the very least okay with it, that still does not give you license to shove it in their face all the time and stink all the time, etc. If you're in an ABDL relationship where the other party joyfully partakes... Well, you're one of the lucky ones.
    C: If it stops you from going out, it's unhealthy. If your indulgence in diapers and ABDL-ism as a whole forces you to fall behind socially, you need to take a step back and re-assess. Humans are social creatures and if you're afraid to talk to people or network or create new relationships, it could massively be holding you back from life progress.
    D: If it starts impacting your hygiene... kinda going on C but if you go everywhere with a stinky diaper on, and it either pushes people away or causes you to withdraw because it's a hygiene issue.. I mean, have you ever had the misfortune of ending up next to that poor kid in elementary school who constantly smelled dank of piss? Yeah.

  10. #10

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    I was the kid that stunk of piss, I am afraid but nowadays, I am a lot more hygienic!

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