I'm not sure if I'm traumatized, but most of the bullying that I've been through is still fixed in my head, it comes up at random times and I cannot forgot it, certain events bring me back terrible memories that leave me shocked or make me feel guilty.
It always seems to manifest itself in small ways, like when people ask to borrow money, it brings back the time someone black mailed me and scammed me out of $50 when I was 10, it was my pocket money, and I was devastated, not only that, they continued for 3-4 years threatening they would do specific things, and since this individual was "a very trusted person who doesn't lie" I knew I was gonna get into trouble for "made up things" I've never done in my life.
I also had another so called friend, whack my face into a pole, chipped the front of my tooth, teacher didn't seem to care.
A few years ago, I decided to sit down and talk to someone, and before I know it, they pushed me off the chair, and everybody in the room gave me a dirty look like I did something wrong, he found it funny, and he is lucky I didn't hit him one.
I narrowly avoided getting knocked out by another table, if the chair had of been further back, I would of been knocked unconscious, the amount of force he used, that or I could of had a chair leg snap and go into my spine.
every time I go past my old school or high school, it brings back very lucid memories, that are terrible. really the only time I feel strong emotion most of the time I feel numb, but in a depressed way.
I always think, crap I could of avoided that, if I didn't do this, or that, but at the same time it's not my fault, all the bullying would of never occurred if I didn't even talk to specific people or even be around them.
I've only ever have had two true friends, only friends with one now, the other one was manipulated by the bullies and there entire family think I'm a liar or untrustworthy, even though I pretty much disproved all his lies. It makes me sad because I can't even have a basic chat without him thinking I'm lying, even though I've almost never lied to him, he just doesn't want to believe he was manipulated. It's funny how the person who manipulated him suddenly shows his true self, and has nothing to do with him, yet I said to him, he has been like that the entire time, yet he tries to tell me I don't understand, er.. I do.
He got his friends, to stab me in the back literally with pins that you use on cork boards, they constantly kicked me when the teacher didn't look, they pushed me over a bench, and I always came home in blood, trying to lie and say I tripped to my mother, after a week she realized I was being bullied.
Teachers did absolutely nothing as there was no "proof", yet I was covered in blood most of the time, they would get my friends to run away from me.
Later on, the same people, caused my finger to be sliced open, I had to get sent home, that in itself was a massive trigger for my anxiety, as it developed right after that.
That and when i hit one of them in self defense, not only did I get death threats from so called "friends" they tried to get there parents involved and made out they did nothing wrong, I got threaten and they told me they were gonna whack me with a baseball bat. I've even had them give me threats such as they were going to stab me with a knife, which I eventually went to the police about.
I'm so glad I don't have to put up with this nonsense anymore, but am I traumatized? I had to get this off my chest as it haunts me to this day.
Nowadays It's just verbal abuse, thankfully. most people talk to me like I'm an idiot, or just ignore anything I have to say.
On top of all that, I got into trouble a lot for things I never did. (I should also add)
I think my AB/DLism is a coping mechanism brought on by this abuse.