Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11

Thread: A explosion of my feelings

  1. #1

    Default A explosion of my feelings

    Basically my money has not come in this week for some reason and I can't get my diapers, my diapers I am sad to say mean everything to me, I can't function without them, just going to the toilet brings back bad memories as the time I was toileting was a very bad experience for me.

    I literally feel like I am losing my mind! I am crying, thinking about bad Sinaeos like what if my money never comes and I literally can't function.

    I have not been able clean up at all, I hardly ate, I forgot to drink plenty of water, I havn't been doing what I enjoy and I could hardly drag myself out of bed this morning! All this has been because I am nearly out of diapers and I am scared of becoming depressed again. My dad has left me to look for new houses down in another area that he can't come back for a few days! I feel like everybody has disappeared off the face of the earth and left me with the traces of their existence!

    Those diapers have been a life support for me! The depression I had for most of my life went because I was wearing and using them! I would be 6 feet under if it wasn't for them. It's a strange way of living I know and it is not a addiction, it's a way of functioning, I cannot pretend to be somebody else that I am not, a adult, I feel like I am wearing a mask, while I can and will do adult things to get by, I cannot use the toilet for trigger reasons that leave me on the toilet for half a hour at a time crying. (No I am not constipated!)

    Not wearing diapers reminds me of the freak I am with no personality because my personality is a child not a adult, I just cannot talk about men 24/7, talk about who's shagging who's neighbour dog!, talk about make up and covering yourself in orange paint (spray tan) and clogging up your pores with the stuff and gross things like squeezing pimples, breasts and period, eeewwww! No thank you!

    I have been made to feel as low as a dog shoved into a filthy kennel all my life, felt like a creep and unapproachable, I have not been allowed to be happy all my life and all of a sudden I get happiness and then again, the bad luck comes back to throw all of my happiness that I ever had back into my face! I feels like I am not allowed to be happy for once in my miserable life! I have never had friends since I was 9 years old and that was my last ever friendship ever. I am not allowed to have friends with the same interests as me!?

    Guess what, I am nice, bubbly and interesting but fate has not allowed me to meet the right people. I can be happy if fate let me! I want to be alive! I am not dirty, freaky or creepy!

    Please how can help me to prevent these feeling happening again?

  2. #2


    Ok so first off here's a big hug .... Better make that two.

    Now, seems you're not a very happy girl Angelic. Being an AB is an ok thing - well ok so maybe I'm biased haha, but seriously, you're struggling with a bit more than just that right now I think.

    Your friends here can be great listeners, and you're certainly welcome to share your feelings, but it may be time to find a professional to help you through some of this stuff. Otherwise you might just spiral too far down. You must look after yourself so that you an begin to focus on attending to the things that make you happy. Sadly we just can't keep avoiding some of the nasty stuff and hope it will go away. I wish I could help you more but all I can do is give you another

  3. #3


    Thanks ozbub, I feel like I can't tell anybody in fear of not being taken seriously or thrown into a phychriatic ward!

  4. #4


    Angelic, I agree with ozbub, you need to talk to someone who can help you sort out some of the issues you're having growing up. A lot of us use AB/DL to relax or de-stress but you're using it as a coping mechanism, which isn't healthy because it ignores the underlying problem. A professional will help you.

    I understand that your dad is away for a few days but please talk to him once he's back and settled in. Tell him that you are really unhappy and depressed. Tell him that you're afraid of becoming an adult. Tell him that you want to talk to someone who can help you. My guess is that your dad already suspects that you're having problems and will believe you. Don't be afraid.

    I'm sure that ozbub and I aren't the only ones on the forum that are worried about you and wish you the best.

    Stay nice, bubbly and interesting. It will get you a long way in life.

  5. #5


    I'm here also, reading and feeling what you're saying. I too agree with ozbub and tickles. You've been through a lot, both with past abuse and your mom's death. In a way, that has come to an end with the passing of your mom, so now might be the time to make a new start on a new life. Do get some professional help, but allow that help to make you more into an entire person.

    I understand the panic that can happen if a diaper supply suddenly ends. I wear cloth diapers but also small sized Leakmaster high back plastic pants, and suppliers are often out of the small size. I always tend to stress when I have trouble replacing them because it would be difficult for me to wear and use my diaper at night and through sleep. It's a state of mind that I emotionally need, so I get what you're saying.

    At the same time, a healthy mind finds ways to cope when wearing diapers isn't possible. There are times when that's going to happen.

    I know that not everyone can be independent, but it's beneficial to take the steps necessary toward that direction. Living alone for a few days is one of those steps. Hopefully, someone, a professional, can help you with that.

    Ultimately, it would be good for your well being if you can find some things to do that you enjoy, things other than playing with toys. I have my own daily routine. I help my wife who is an amputee, get ready for the day. I walk the dog, take care of myself, read the newspaper and have a cup of coffee. I sometimes ride my bike or go for a walk. I enjoy reading and writing the occasional story. I also have a part time job as a music director which keeps me busy.

    The point I'm trying to make is that we need to have things in our life that fill in the empty and lonely hours. I believe that you can work toward that perhaps by setting some small goals for yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day but by one stone at a time.

  6. #6


    I have my own adult interests but it helps when you want to do them. I know it's gonna take time.

  7. #7


    Here's another hug just in case and one for later (you can use this one when you need it )

  8. #8


    Hold on a minute I wasn't abused! Or do you think so?

  9. #9


    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    Hold on a minute I wasn't abused! Or do you think so?

    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    You've been through a lot, both with past abuse and your mom's death.
    dogboy is talking about physical and mental abuse, not sexual abuse. Getting slapped and yelled at a lot is physical and mental abuse. So isn't bullying.

  10. #10


    i agree with the others it sounds like you are finding comfort in the diapers as a way of handling your grief and past hurt hun....i had a lot happen in the past and like you find it hard to associate with alot of what women talk about such as buying jewellery cars tans all that usual other thing is im not attracted to your usual beefcake blokes that work out etc i like sissy guys so even harder to talk to them and it has made me shut off from alot of people. i have one true friend that sort of knows about me but not all which helps a little but it has taken me 48 years to find her!!! and i still hold back quite a bit so believe me you will find somebody to share this with wether you find them on here or in your daily life. i found my sissy /ABs from buying skirts on ebay and got asked was i a man or a woman and i just got chatting about clothes with one for first few years ....another i found as i was making terry nappies for my other one and he told me to sell them on ebay and then i got chatting to another that became a dear AB friend... though you do have to be careful out there so im not saying go out and talk to just anybody.... but im just saying how its possible to find friends when you are least expecting it that you can share in this side of you ..good luck sweetheart and we are all here if you need to talk..xxxxx

Similar Threads

  1. Explosion at Texas Fertilizer Plant
    By Coyote_Howl in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 23-Apr-2013, 04:28
  2. Little's feelings
    By KryanAshford in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 30-Mar-2013, 02:24
  3. New Feelings
    By Oceltot in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-Jun-2012, 15:06
  4. Not sure what my feelings mean, if anything.
    By gigglemuffinz in forum Babyfur / Diaperfur
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 31-Jul-2011, 15:45
  5. The Rock-afire Explosion
    By LittleAura in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-Apr-2010, 23:58

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  • - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.