Is it normal to feel suicidal due to being in debt?
Long story short, I was screwed around,by a government agency, which lead me into debt. just for an education.
I feel like my hallucinations and delusions are getting worse, I feel rather energetic this week, but I'm bound to get sad and hopeless again.
If I had of listened to myself, and not my mother, I wouldn't of ended up in debt in the first place, I knew from day 1 I was gonna get screwed over.
I've also been having these odd thoughts, that everyone I talk to, is planning something, or planning to hurt me, maybe It's my brain looking out to me due to my past of getting abused and bullied / backstabbed by every single person I've ever met.
I can't seem to trust anyone, oddly enough when I catch a person lying once, I just keep distance, because I know it's just gonna end up hurting me.
Literally, considering the police accused me of robbing someone, searching my room, and turning out to be innocent, I can't trust anyone literally, but the odd thing is, what if someone tried to set me up and get me into trouble. wouldn't surprise me, what if that person is planning to black mail me, but hasn't been bothered telling me yet, what if they found out where I lived.
Not the first time it's happened either, had the police come to my house looking for stolen equipment which I think was just a ploy to find out who I am.
It's gotten to the point, that I'm starting to think people who serve me at the shop hate me, or that the receptionist is screwing things up on purpose.
I've been like this for a while, not this bad though, I often look behind me because I feel someone is going to come up and hit me or try and knock me out, or jump on me, but It's rational because I've had that happen on a few occasions.