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Thread: (Trigger warning) bullying and social anxiety

  1. #1

    Default (Trigger warning) bullying and social anxiety

    I was bullied badly from the time I was 10 right up to a couple of years ago. As a result I have become so nervous of coming outside that I can imagine hearing somebody insulting me and sometimes I think I hear it when I don't! I walk down the street inventing responses to any possible slurs that may occur, (they never do). I am on tender hooks everytime I walk past a group of lads or a clique of girls. I have got slurs on the street before but I showed that I was nervous. Since I have put on a brave front, they have stopped. I am still frightened everytime I go out that I am going to get beaten up despite it never happened once, I have had nightmares of being beaten up.

    I am scared of meeting a school bully on the street and I remember the slurs at school and it still triggers me.

    Like the new zootopia movie, the sloths offend me because I got called a sloth and slow because I was always sleepy due to the fact I hardly got any sleep because I dreaded going to school so much! I get triggered and annoyed because it feels even though it's meant to be funny, I feel like it is laughing at me beyond the school gates!

    I got called crackpot and crackhead, not because I took drugs because I DIDN'T, again for the sleepiness factor and maybe my appearance of having bloodshot eyes, bags under my eyes, messy hair due to depression and not taking care of my appearance and I was always frowning. I got offended everytime somebody or a youtuber makes pothead jokes or shout pothead to somebody else because it reminds me of the slur I used to get so much. Just to make things clear, I NEVER took drugs in my life!

    What used to annoy me the most, was the fact people called me special and thought I was dumb! I never spoke a word in school so people thought I was deaf and mute, not to mention dumb! The reason I didn't want to talk was because back in my old school, people said my voice was retarded and imitated my voice in a crude way and laughed at what I said. So in the end I just kept my mouth shut and cried a lot. I have average intelligence or even higher but teacher kept putting me down and not letting me achieve my best and assumed I was thick just because I have Asperger's! It doesn't affect my intelligence, it effects my social skills and how I perceive the world, they knew nothing about the syndrome and treated me wrong! The classic example of not training their teachers well enough! Why do people think I am dumb for hardly speaking!?

    Anyways can anyone suggest any ways of getting over this anxiety and the hurtful memories or will this just take time before I don't care about what happened anymore? Well I am glad I figure what was behind my social anxiety!

  2. #2


    Hi Angelic. Hearing your story just breaks my heart. Kids can be so cruel. And in this enlightened age (I grew up in the 50's), there's no excuse for your teachers not helping you, not only with the bullying but with your self-confidence.

    I don't know very much about Asperger's but I have a grand-nephew who has it and he's the sweetest kid, and smart too. He just needs a little help with his social skills. He gets 'kidded' by his classmates too. Luckily, his problem was caught early and he got lots of extra help (I'm in the U.S). I think he'll be o.k.

    As for social anxiety, I suffer from the same thing, maybe not as much. I'v found that the best way to deal with social anxiety is to JUST PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE, even if it's uncomfortable. Good things will happen.

    Above all, I hope you have someone to help you. That includes professionals who understand what you're going through. Depression and lack of sleep can keep you from dealing with your other problems.

    Once you get past the bullying stage (and it will pass) your intelligence will build your self-confidence and your self-confidence will help you build your social skills. In the mean time, be kind to yourself.

  3. #3


    I can relate somewhat to this because I was bullied through elementary school and eventually stopped interacting with people all through out middle school. It got the the point where I thought everyone was insulting me, and talking about me behind my back. Even if they only said hi to me on the street ... I thought they where mocking me. I would just ignore them without saying Hi back.

    There was even a point where I quite literally hated the world and wanted most people dead. I often had pretty bad thoughts. Some even silly I suppose, like how to destroy the planet.

    Now as for getting over it ... it just really takes time. At least it did for me. I still have a hard time looking someone eye to eye and I get intimidated fairly easily just passing by someone. But generally ... I no longer hate the world, nor do I want people dead lol. I believe it helps to just hang out with friends and have a good time. Focus on those things. Realize ... most people are not actually bullies by the time they grow up, and those who are ... generally don't have a very good life either.

  4. #4


    Bullying is a terrible thing to try to recover from. I was brutally bullied when I was 6, 7 and 8 years old, all by my cousins who lived a couple of houses over. They delighted in beating me until I would cry just so they could call me a little baby and watch me run home. Being young can have its own horrors. I was an outgoing kid, not especially shy, but also a sensitive musician. I guess that's all they needed. Eventually I learned to hit back and that presented its own problems. Eventually there were other kids that I beat, something I would later regret. The memory of one kid still haunts me.

    Now, I am who I am, someone who cares a great deal about others. So hang in there. Hold your head up high, and go back to college. Most of us are just part of the human rabble. People don't talk poorly about us, or even talk about us. We simply blend in if we're lucky. Actually, people do talk about me now, but it's usually good things as I'm a known musician in my community, so life can get a lot better. You just have to stay in there and do your best.

  5. #5


    Angelic, you life story make me remember my past about myself that also had been bullying, it has become common for all of us if ever experienced something that make live bitter and making trauma when we want to do it again.

    As person who also suffered anxiety, I tell you that it is difficult for us to be ourselves when we are attacked by anxiety, like every people will blame us that whatever we do, but I have to tell you that you must remain courageous in faced something, everyone has their own experience in life and that's all depend on how you have the situation. I personally have a past that is quite bitter at school where I was insulted, ridiculed, and mocked, like I was nothing in my school. I have anxiety that is so severe even make me intend to quite from school at the time because I so scared when I must meet people at school, but I have started to learn how to deal with the situation in several ways,

    First, show yourself that you are not afraid. Make sure that you are not afraid of whatever happens, don't let yourself be controlled by anxiety so you lose the courage, keep in the mind that one thing make others dare to bullying us because we are looked scared, so they are that we are nothing and bullying us. So make sure that you are brave wherever you are.

    Secondly, seek the others that can support you to be courageous in facing the circumstances. In your school there are people who still care and good to you, then you must meet the person and talk with them to support you to be more brave in dealing with situations outside the home because was not only you are facing something like that, there are was me and many more people who are facing this situation.

    Third, try to avoid situations that can bullying you. If you are in place like school and saw some people who will be bullying you, then try to go somewhere else such at cafeteria or library for you can more secure. Don't let yourself be in a situation of bullying and make sure you are in location that was safe from people want to bullying you. In addiction ignore them all.

    Fourth, learn the situation for you can find your own ways. Don't be afraid for again in face something because everything we found and known are originated from experience that make us learn something. If you are being bullied then you have to learn from the circumstances to change your life become better, without making that experience became trauma that haunts you in living.

    These four things make me more brave in living my life right now, and now i'm totally not afraid of anyone disturbing me. I hope you can forget the bitter past about bullying that haunt you and make you trauma in life. Initially is making sure that you are brave to be yourself to facing something that will happen because everything depends on yourself how you deal with rhat, so you can learn more from that about ways in life. There are still many people around you who have same living condition, so make sure you have courage, brave, and not afraid to face with something.

    Thank you and sorry for my annoying grammar.

    All to the Best.

  6. #6

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