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Thread: Mean comments and the link between my parents upbringing. (Trigger warning)

  1. #1

    Default Mean comments and the link between my parents upbringing. (Trigger warning)

    I have been telling the haters about ABDLism and how it is not connected to pedophilaia or mental illness and how behind the diapers is another human being who hopefully works and puts his contribution to society. One you tuber called a freak and a bitch and told me to stop pissing myself and sucking on things.

    Whilst another called me a f#cking bitch and told me I would of been committed and he would of raised me properly.

    The raising me properly comment brought back some unpleasant memories of my parents both in my dreams and in real life, shouting at me, swearing, saying how disgraceful I was and slapping me. I can hear my parents shouting the comments in my head as I read them.

    I had dreams when I paralysed and my parents were shouting me, when there screams got louder and louder and I couldn't move a muscle, they burst into my room with angry faces! Another one was one where my mom kept shouting and screaming at me for no reason whatsoever. Another one was my dad kept slapping repeatedly. One was when my mom even tried to literally stab me in the back!

    This never happened but in real life I have actually been slapped, had a plate smashed over my head, been swore at, told that they regret it by mom but in the other hand they never properly physically abused me, they got angry quickly with me because I was autistic and very young. They did do some mother and fatherly things with me like sew things together, play together, read stories and cuddle and go on trips out.

    I had a very confusing childhood, it was one extreme to another due to me not knowing right from wrong. I loved them dearly even though that went on, although when I got older they became my friends and not so much mother and father. I always loved them but I feel like I can't forgive them for what they did to me! I don't hate them, I just fear them. My parents never did little kids.

    Now my mom has died (the dreams were worst with mom), my dad and I have become close and I regret having the dreams, they have been less but I feel I will have one again soon. They don't happen everyday but they occur every now and again.

    How can I forgive them for what they did to me? I proberly need to see somebody but I am going to feel guilty for telling them about mom and dad and also the fact that they are not like that anymore will confuse them. What can I do?

  2. #2


    To be completely honest, even though I have went through a tough life, I don't really ever get triggered. I don't get flash backs or what not ... and its really hard for me to understand. People handle things differently I guess. I would certainly suggest getting some professional help though if you really feel you need it. I also wouldn't worry to much about the past, nor should you feel guilty about mentioning it. If you see a therapist ... it's all confidential.

    Now as for forgiveness ... that is a hard one. How does that one saying go? Forgive but never forget? That is pretty much how I tend to do things. I have forgiven my parents for what they have done, but it's not something I will ever forget. There isn't anything that can be done to take back those things. Generally speaking though, I tend to easily forgive people. It's hard for me to stay mad at someone, or to hold something against them for too long. I feel what matters most is now. The past is the past ... it's really no longer all that important. It's only really good for learning and not making the same mistakes. It shapes who you are ... but beyond that ... I wouldn't dwell on it.

  3. #3


    How can you forgive them? If you don't, you're stuck in the past.

    You're not free until you forgive them and let it go.

    When we hold to anger, hate or regret we're not hurting others, we're hurting ourselves. As someone wise once said "holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, you're the one who gets burned".

    It's a funny thing to grow older and become an adult, you realize that the adults that you looked up for reassurance and answers, were a lot of the times as clueless and unsure of themselves as we. As children we think of grow ups as people that will know what to do and fix things, but they're not perfect and a few unfortunately are far from that, but for the most part we have to recognize that they did their best. The best they could as the person they are/were.

    As for the mean comments on the internet my advice is to not read or pay them any attention. Focus on the positives and let the negatives pass, don't ignore or reject them, but just let them go.

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