I wish I had a child's body sometimes, I am female so it's obvious I am a adult because of certain features...
I wish my breasts were not there and that I don't have to wear bras, I feel disgusted when I see them because they feel like they shouldn't be there! I guess someone would like my breasts for me if you get what I mean when I get a relationship, but I feels wrong on my body! I was devastated when they grew as it meant no more running around in the body I loved.
I have a hour glass figure that feels wrongs as children don't have curves! Why couldn't of I had a smaller waist and then maybe I could fit into children's diapers more easily. I also have a annoying thing about my metabolism, it is not as fast as it used to be as I have stopped growing, so I am more likely to get fat and I am constantly trying to watch my weight! Little children do not need to worry about their weight plus I love food! I felt fat and wrong when my hips grew and my butt got bigger, I felt huge!
I hate having hair anywhere else apart from my head, eye lashes and eyebrows! Like pubic hair, underarm hair and leg hair, it's disgusting! I have to shave it every week and it leaves cuts and spots where it used to be and it still has stubble! It will NEVER be the same than it used to be! Little children do NOT need to shave! I was disgusted as hell when I grew my first hairs, I even tried to pluck them out, I was like "what the hell are these!"
Worst of all is my period, I get terrible stomach cramps for one and turn into a moody teenager! I am not a moody teenager! I am a kid! It reminds my constantly for about a week that I am adult and its laughing at me if it could, it comes back every month to laugh at me! I overeat when I am on my period and I don't want to go fat! I didn't mind the periods at first because they were lighter and didn't give me tummy ache, but when they got heavier I got terrible pains, but I did try to use a pad as a diaper but it leaked right through!
I am too big, I am 5 foot 3-5 inches tall and weigh 8 stone 5-9, I remember when I was working in a kindergarten class for experience and the dangling decorations touched my head and I felt like a giant and a overgrown child! I am too heavy for ride on toys, for a crib, to be carryed, to sit in a highchair. I am too big to fit in a crib, to be carried, sit in a stroller and sit in a car seat! I always remember hating the fact I was going to get big and tower over everything I loved and children and I remember thinking how scary it would be to be so high off the ground looking down at my feet!
If there is one thing I like is my face as it is quite childlike, it's rounded, rosy cheeked and I have blond hair and big blue eyes with long eyelashes.
There is a down Side to my face though, I get spots on around my hair hair line, around my mouth and on my back, chest area and upper arms and I hate them as I never used to get spots before puberty! I also get dry skin from time to time and it's silly! Although it's an excuse to use johnsons baby lotion to moisturise myself! I felt like a puss monster when the spots came! I thought they were never going to appear but they did and it took me by surprise as I had bad spots an greasy hair for 3 years!
I also find I have to pretend to be somebody i am not due to my adult body, I have to go to work, be involved in adult discussions, be exposed to swearing an d gross things like sex, I also have sexual interests that make me feel dirty and weird, I could live without sexual desire thank you very much! I get nagged at for adult stuff and it's not fair. I can't decide on that sort of thing! I will if I have to though!
Sorry it was so long, I just had to vent, can anybody give me any suggestions to help me feel more comfortable with my body?