(If you don't care to read my novel, feel free to skip to the *****'s) (:
I'm (hopefully) coming down from my first binge cycle. Only having recently accepted that the fetish I've shamed myself into ignoring for most of my adult life doesn't make me a horrible person, I've spent the last two or so months completely obsessed with diapers. I've learned a lot—about this fetish, this lifestyle, and more importantly, about myself—and I've spent a lot too. (Babies aren't cheap!)
At first, I thought—assumed— I wanted a diaper that was thick and would get heavy. My very first experience with diapers as an adult seemed to confirm this—I layered 4 GoodNight pull-ups I sheepishly bought from my local grocery store and proceeded to prance around my empty house until minutes before my fiancé came home. Perfect experience.
Aaaaand then that binge I mentioned before started to spiral. I went on an online spree—I ordered first a pack of Abena M4s and then 2 of Molicare's Super Plus disposables. (The first was plastic backed, but the small size was too...small. The mediums I ordered next were cloth-backed.) Samples from Bambino came next, then I just went a little nuts and ordered packs from ABUniverse and Tykables. Needless to say, I have quite a supply, and am slightly embarrassed at my lack of control.
Anyway. Back to my point. So, throughout all this, I have this idea in my head that "thicker is better," right? Thicker and plastic. That's what's best—so says the Internet, at least.
Aaaand yet...even as I sit here in a very pretty ABU Lavender, I can't help but think that I'd be happier in the second pack of Molicares I got—the very thin, cloth backed ones that most people seem to hate.
I don't know if it's because of my age (at 27, I don't really remember thick plastic diapers. My mom always bought thinner ones, and my memory seems to linger on cloth backed Pampers) or if it's because I like how they look under my clothes (suits and Tykables do not mix), but I just can't seem to fall in love with them. They feel...like I'm faking something? Or trying too hard.
Aren't baby diapers designed to be comfortable for babies and toddlers? Surely not to be so thick they can't close their legs when it's dry. Yes, baby diapers sag, and toddlers waddle...but only after wearing for a while.
(As I'm writing this, I'm realizing I may have answered my original question, but I have a new one...)
Is wearing a thicker diaper really more infantile? Or do we just assume it is? And if we do, why?
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As an aside, I realize that I'm overthinking this. But this entire revelation is very psychological in nature for me, so...sorry... >_>