Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 28

Thread: I want an honest opinion WITH tact

  1. #1

    Question I want an honest opinion WITH tact

    Any rude comments will either be ignored or I will reply and you will not like what I (calmly) have to say.

    So here goes... What are the pros and cons of Adam? Aka me, Premetheus.
    What can I do so that when I make posts on this site that I do not frustrate those who apparently cannot keep anger or frustration with me to themselves? I understand things need to be voiced, I get that.

    But to act is if I don't already know something blatantly obvious, is just insluting. I want to improve because guess what? I'm sick of myself too. I want to change... desperately... I can't lie and say I like myself. I can't stand myself so I don't blame those who can't stand me. I don't need any more stress in my life, I don't want to cause more stress in other's lives, I just want to live for once without heavy critisism.

    I, Adam (Premetheus) want to change who I am as a person because I cannot continue to remain on this site, if I continue to piss myself off (no pee related pun intended).

  2. #2

    Default

    I am not sure what the reference is to, but I would say " To thy own self be true!"

    I have people on this sight that I ignore their post, others I read and then read it again before I post.

    One suggestion that I have to remind myself every so often is "Q-TIP" Quit taking it personal.

    Then when you post ask yourself how you would react if you see "this" in print.

    There is individuals here that will argue with anything that is said. Needless to say they also do not stick around very long.
    Then like I said there are the ones that I just ignore.
    On the other hand there is also people that if I see they have posted I will look at a thread to see what is going on.

    I guess it is a filter that I have developed over the last three years.

    Egor

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by egor View Post
    I am not sure what the reference is to, but I would say " To thy own self be true!"

    I have people on this sight that I ignore their post, others I read and then read it again before I post.

    One suggestion that I have to remind myself every so often is "Q-TIP" Quit taking it personal.

    Then when you post ask yourself how you would react if you see "this" in print.

    There is individuals here that will argue with anything that is said. Needless to say they also do not stick around very long.
    Then like I said there are the ones that I just ignore.
    On the other hand there is also people that if I see they have posted I will look at a thread to see what is going on.

    I guess it is a filter that I have developed over the last three years.

    Egor
    I think that is my main issue.. I don't know how to quit taking it personally.

  4. #4

    Default

    I know criticism for some people is something uncomfortable, especially for sensitive person like you. How not, the effort that has been you deployed in fact still be inviting to the discontent of others. But, that's life. As social beings, we can not be free from criticism.

    Rather than avoiding criticism, it would be much better when you learn to accept or deal with it well and take advantage of it. For some people, it was not easy. Criticism, as fine as anything to deliver it, it can still make a bad taste, especially if the criticisms are dropped you.

    Trying to take the same angle with the giver of criticism. If successful, then you will truly understand the core reason of the giver criticism in the criticism. If it is so, then you would not usually too "hot" and disturbed so that it can be more relaxed in formulating effective argument in answering the criticism.

    Looking at the criticism from the positive side. Criticism can essentially be classified into two things, which is based on good intentions and evil intent. However, as a private independent, you have a choice to look at that all the criticism leveled on goodwill (positive). Current perspective is very beneficial because it makes your mind more clearly so that it can take the criticism with the maximum benefit.

    Don't let yourselves drift into hurt feelings and resentment when getting criticism, because it was very hurt yourself. The loss was like a burn across his own house to kill a rat hiding behind the closet.

    Take a lesson from any criticism we can. Critics often displays many important things that are hidden from view or mind. Prior to react to criticism, you should examine it first. If the critics were wrong, can be ignored. But if true, then you can make an important means to improve yourselves.

    Use assertive manner in responding to criticism. How assertive is the way that confirms the establishment and opinions with confident, clear, and positive. Such an attitude allows you to express an opinion or will of the firm, elegant, and respectable while maintaining the dignity and honor of others.

    You know, people who are critical are not uniquely strange in our lives. The critical is natural at every human being, it's just different levels. The critical of ourselves and others is a feature that is actually beneficial to see things beyond our thinking and in others because the danger is not in the criticism, but the character who could bring out who you really are.

    So remains to be steadfast, friend, don't be too put into care if people criticized because it only makes your depression more worse.

    -Max
    Last edited by MaxToddler; 22-Jul-2016 at 01:46.

  5. #5

    Default

    I'll say it anyway...

    You've created threads over and over about the same thing. You pointed out the obvious and we say change. You say, "I can't change, I don't have motivation". Then you create a new thread complaining about it, and ask for more advice, then we say stop letting your weaknesses get in your way, stop being this, change who you are. Then you get offended and ignore people who say change.

    Why don't you take action and stop whining. Stop making new threads. If you're not going to do anything about it, keep blaming your mental conditions, not heeding advice, ignoring everyone that does give you advice, the shoulders are wearing thin. You're like a homeless man begging in the street and does nothing with the donations he's been given except buy more alcohol or other wasteful things.

    At least when I was in your shoes, I listened, I stepped up and took action. Just like in the long posts I shared with you stated. I went from homeless to having a roof over my head by taking criticism and heeding the advice I was given.

    For the last time, it's better to try and fail, then it is to do nothing and succeed.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MaxToddler View Post
    I know criticism for some people is something uncomfortable, especially for sensitive person like you. How not, the effort that has been you deployed in fact still be inviting to the discontent of others. But, that's life. As social beings, we can not be free from criticism.

    Rather than avoiding criticism, it would be much better when you learn to accept or deal with it well and take advantage of it. For some people, it was not easy. Criticism, as fine as anything to deliver it, it can still make a bad taste, especially if the criticisms are dropped you.

    Trying to take the same angle with the giver of criticism. If successful, then you will truly understand the core reason of the giver criticism in the criticism. If it is so, then you would not usually too "hot" and disturbed so that it can be more relaxed in formulating effective argument in answering the criticism.

    Looking at the criticism from the positive side. Criticism can essentially be classified into two things, which is based on good intentions and evil intent. However, as a private independent, you have a choice to look at that all the criticism leveled on goodwill (positive). Current perspective is very beneficial because it makes your mind more clearly so that it can take the criticism with the maximum benefit.

    Don't let yourselves drift into hurt feelings and resentment when getting criticism, because it was very hurt yourself. The loss was like a burn across his own house to kill a rat hiding behind the closet.

    Take a lesson from any criticism we can. Critics often displays many important things that are hidden from view or mind. Prior to react to criticism, you should examine it first. If the critics were wrong, can be ignored. But if true, then you can make an important means to improve yourselves.

    Use assertive manner in responding to criticism. How assertive is the way that confirms the establishment and opinions with confident, clear, and positive. Such an attitude allows you to express an opinion or will of the firm, elegant, and respectable while maintaining the dignity and honor of others.

    You know, people who are critical are not uniquely strange in our lives. The critical is natural at every human being, it's just different levels. The critical of ourselves and others is a feature that is actually beneficial to see things beyond our thinking and in others because the danger is not in the criticism, but the character who could bring out who you really are.

    So remains to be steadfast, friend, don't be too put into care if people criticized because it only makes your depression more worse.

    -Max
    I agree with you completely, it would seem that 'metal man' is still unaware that I've put him on the ignore list. His critisism reveals to me he is full of himself. I actually AM trying to change and I legit don't know how to change but I'm trying to with all of your help, my therapist's help, and my family's help. I don't need his asinine remarks making me feel like slitting my throat any more than I already do. I desperately want to live and he isn't helping. I just hope that you know I am trying and you really have inspired me.

    I have never said the statement below by 'metal man' I said I want to change but I don't know how... but I'm working on taking in the advice that actually makes sense. I have plenty of motivation, just not the know how to change but all the other comments and posts have been helpful and I'm doing my best to stop taking things personally.

    Edit:You say, "I can't change, I don't have motivation".
    Last edited by Premetheus; 22-Jul-2016 at 03:00.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    Any rude comments will either be ignored or I will reply and you will not like what I (calmly) have to say.


    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    You've created threads over and over about the same thing. You pointed out the obvious and we say change. You say, "I can't change, I don't have motivation". Then you create a new thread complaining about it, and ask for more advice, then we say stop letting your weaknesses get in your way, stop being this, change who you are. Then you get offended and ignore people who say change.

    Why don't you take action and stop whining. Stop making new threads. If you're not going to do anything about it, keep blaming your mental conditions, not heeding advice, ignoring everyone that does give you advice, the shoulders are wearing thin. You're like a homeless man begging in the street and does nothing with the donations he's been given except buy more alcohol or other wasteful things.
    I'm afraid I have to agree, quite passionately, with MetalMan. MaxToddler is an awesome guy, and is excused for his one-month tenure. This has been going on for over a year, and at 30+ installments, has long since crossed over from support opportunity to serial drama. It's rapidly closing in on spam now--trolling too, perhaps, as these threads seem increasingly designed to provoke anger, with preemptive strikes such as "WITH tact" and similar nonsense. Let's cut the crap. This is a boy-who-cried-wolf kind of thing. And no, I don't mean to say that you're lying. But whether these problems of yours are to be taken at face value, or are symptomatic of an insatiable need for attention, the villagers are starting to feel awfully foolish. The forum regulars among us have all fallen for one or two of these threads, and now, if we reply it all, it's like we're numbly pressing the snooze button on an alarm that grants us steadily diminishing relief from a steadily more annoying noise.

    Please take a few BIG steps back, take a big pause, and answer one question for yourself: If ADISC is such a terrible place, peopled with jerks who thoughtlessly dole out hollow, unhelpful advice and do their best to offend me, ... why the heck do I keep going there?

    Because only you can answer that, and even if you keep the answer to yourself, I think we'll all benefit from your having thought about it for a while.
    Last edited by Cottontail; 22-Jul-2016 at 15:02. Reason: typo

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    I'm afraid I have to agree, quite passionately, with MetalMan. MaxToddler is an awesome guy, and is excused for his one-month tenure. This has been going on for over a year, and at 30+ installments, has long since crossed over from support opportunity to serial drama. It's rapidly closing in on spam now--trolling too, perhaps--as these threads seem increasingly designed to provoke anger, with preemptive strikes such as "WITH tact" and similar nonsense. Let's cut the crap. This is a boy-who-cried-wolf kind of thing. And no, I don't mean to say that you're lying. But whether these problems of yours are to be taken at face value, or are symptomatic of an insatiable need for attention, the villagers are starting to feel awfully foolish. The forum regulars among us have all fallen for one or two of these threads, and now, if we reply it all, it's like we're numbly pressing the snooze button on an alarm that grants us steadily diminishing relief from a steadily more annoying noise.

    Please take a few BIG steps back, take a big pause, and answer one question for yourself: If ADISC is such a terrible place, peopled with jerks who thoughtlessly dole out hollow, unhelpful advice and do their best to offend me, ... why the heck do I keep going there?

    Because only you can answer that, and even if you keep the answer to yourself, I think we'll all benefit from your having thought about it for a while.
    Wow.......... you are so clueless aren't you? Cut the crap? Designed to make people angry? Sigh.... then I think it's best if I just stop posting at all. You have pushed me over the edge. This IS NOT a boy who cried wolf... this was a boy who had wolves tear him to shreds and then have the townsfolk say, "Oh well" .... It is NOT a terrible place... I have said the opposite many times. But this.. this.... I'm so angry with you I just have no words. You don't even know me and you have the guts to say what you said. I'm done posting. Since it's what the majority wants and apparently thinks I'm 'trolling'... nice to know my feelings mean nothing to you. I was actually getting better... yeah it's been a year because guess what? Crap happens... you want silence? You have got it in full. Goodbye Cottontail. Goodbye.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Forgive me everyone who actually liked me but since apparently I am just a troll or a loser or someone who can't do anything right on this site, I am resigning to blogs, private messages, and such. Yes this crap has been going on for awhile sure, but that doesn't make me a troll and I by no means had malicious intent. I as a person cannot continue to allow people with zero respect for me to contact me anymore. I've done what I can to tolerate them, but goodbye. I guess.

  9. #9

    Default

    I don't really know what this is about. I don't read a lot of threads, so I haven't seen any threads where you've frustrated anyone. So maybe I haven't got the full picture... But...

    I hope you don't mind me saying, but you sound somewhat tormented by an inner struggle. People who are able to recognise this struggle within themselves and strive for change and "improvement" are admirable. No one is perfect, and the yearning you have to change your life is very much a pro point of Adam.

    It sounds like motivation is an issue, and sometimes we have a "psychological block" where we are unhappy with how things are, but re-live the same experiences and struggles over-and-over and start to lose hope that we can ever break free of this cycle. I have my own neurotic behaviours that I perpetually struggle (and fail) to overcome, so I recognise your frustration.

    You sound like you're trying to openly and honestly analyse yourself (something which very, very few people are willing or capable of). Another pro point. But over-analysis can make us overly self-critical.

    I have a certain addiction (or two), which I am still not free from. I have tried everything to quit. But the one thing that really screwed up my life was being hard on myself. Being hard and angry with yourself generates self-loathing. The frustration that you can't (or won't) change causes even more intense negative emotions.

    You might think that you could use this negativity to punish yourself and make you psychologically want to change. But it doesn't work. The reason I was (am) in a "rut" is because of negative emotions. They make me anxious, unhappy, etc... and, as a result, I want to escape even more... And, to escape, I bury my head in the sand and switch to "autopilot"... where I inevitably repeat the same "negative" behaviours. The more pressure you put yourself under, the more you switch off and resort to the same old script to regain a sense of psychological control.

    And yet, you can't go the opposite way and be totally lax or you'll reinforce your bad habits. It's a delicate balance. :-/

    I sometimes wonder if ABDL regression comes about as a way to escape reality and bury our heads in the sand to escape the stresses of adult life...



    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    You're like a homeless man begging in the street and does nothing with the donations he's been given except buy more alcohol or other wasteful things.
    Ouch! That's harsh! Anyway, alcohol isn't wasteful to homeless people. It's probably the only way they'll be able to fall asleep on a hard pavement with the noise of the city. It relieves anxiety and (in many cases) maintains an addiction thus avoiding unpleasant withdrawal. Homeless people spending money on alcohol aren't trying to make their lives worse; they're trying to best cope with what they have.



    Quote Originally Posted by MeTaLMaNN1983 View Post
    At least when I was in your shoes, I listened, I stepped up and took action. Just like in the long posts I shared with you stated. I went from homeless to having a roof over my head by taking criticism and heeding the advice I was given.
    If you were able to step up and take action, then it sounds like you aren't in quite the same shoes as Adam.

    Anything we have achieved feels "easy", and what we have failed to achieve feels "hard". :-/ But you're absolutely right that you need to try, try and try again. And when you get "stuck", sometimes you need to take a step back, reconsider, and try something different.



    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    I, Adam (Premetheus) want to change who I am as a person because I cannot continue to remain on this site, if I continue to piss myself off (no pee related pun intended).
    No! That's just silly! This is a SUPPORT site, and it sounds like you're open to the idea of analysing yourself and throwing some ideas out there. As I say, I haven't seen your other threads/posts, but I hope you'll stick around. Life is hard. Starting a few forum threads and moaning about it is hardly the crime of the century! People might get frustrated with you. You might get frustrated with yourself. But, so long as you're not spamming the forum, it's all good. If people really don't want to see your posts... you know what they can do? Just ignore them and move on. No big deal.

    Don't let other people determine your happiness. I find this hard. I'm quite sensitive, and I used to worry so much about what other people thought that I never had the time to consider what I was thinking. I spent my whole life seeking out criticism so that I could figure out how to change myself. But that hyper-critical behaviour trashes your self-esteem. Sometimes you have to stop trying to work out what other people think of you, and just be yourself regardless of what other people think (within reason). You have to believe in yourself. And I think you do, or you wouldn't be here looking for answers.

    My old therapist gave me this PDF printout, which I found really helpful when I'm feeling down. It's just a couple of simple points about how to look after your mental wellbeing, but it's really good advice:

    http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/St...0Wellbeing.pdf

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    This has been going on for over a year, and at 30+ installments, has long since crossed over from support opportunity to serial drama. It's rapidly closing in on spam now--trolling too, perhaps...
    Blimey! I guess I missed all that.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    I don't really know what this is about. I don't read a lot of threads, so I haven't seen any threads where you've frustrated anyone. So maybe I haven't got the full picture... But...

    I hope you don't mind me saying, but you sound somewhat tormented by an inner struggle. People who are able to recognise this struggle within themselves and strive for change and "improvement" are admirable. No one is perfect, and the yearning you have to change your life is very much a pro point of Adam.

    It sounds like motivation is an issue, and sometimes we have a "psychological block" where we are unhappy with how things are, but re-live the same experiences and struggles over-and-over and start to lose hope that we can ever break free of this cycle. I have my own neurotic behaviours that I perpetually struggle (and fail) to overcome, so I recognise your frustration.

    You sound like you're trying to openly and honestly analyse yourself (something which very, very few people are willing or capable of). Another pro point. But over-analysis can make us overly self-critical.

    I have a certain addiction (or two), which I am still not free from. I have tried everything to quit. But the one thing that really screwed up my life was being hard on myself. Being hard and angry with yourself generates self-loathing. The frustration that you can't (or won't) change causes even more intense negative emotions.

    You might think that you could use this negativity to punish yourself and make you psychologically want to change. But it doesn't work. The reason I was (am) in a "rut" is because of negative emotions. They make me anxious, unhappy, etc... and, as a result, I want to escape even more... And, to escape, I bury my head in the sand and switch to "autopilot"... where I inevitably repeat the same "negative" behaviours. The more pressure you put yourself under, the more you switch off and resort to the same old script to regain a sense of psychological control.

    And yet, you can't go the opposite way and be totally lax or you'll reinforce your bad habits. It's a delicate balance. :-/

    I sometimes wonder if ABDL regression comes about as a way to escape reality and bury our heads in the sand to escape the stresses of adult life...



    Ouch! That's harsh! Anyway, alcohol isn't wasteful to homeless people. It's probably the only way they'll be able to fall asleep on a hard pavement with the noise of the city. It relieves anxiety and (in many cases) maintains an addiction thus avoiding unpleasant withdrawal. Homeless people spending money on alcohol aren't trying to make their lives worse; they're trying to best cope with what they have.



    If you were able to step up and take action, then it sounds like you aren't in quite the same shoes as Adam.

    Anything we have achieved feels "easy", and what we have failed to achieve feels "hard". :-/ But you're absolutely right that you need to try, try and try again. And when you get "stuck", sometimes you need to take a step back, reconsider, and try something different.



    No! That's just silly! This is a SUPPORT site, and it sounds like you're open to the idea of analysing yourself and throwing some ideas out there. As I say, I haven't seen your other threads/posts, but I hope you'll stick around. Life is hard. Starting a few forum threads and moaning about it is hardly the crime of the century! People might get frustrated with you. You might get frustrated with yourself. But, so long as you're not spamming the forum, it's all good. If people really don't want to see your posts... you know what they can do? Just ignore them and move on. No big deal.

    Don't let other people determine your happiness. I find this hard. I'm quite sensitive, and I used to worry so much about what other people thought that I never had the time to consider what I was thinking. I spent my whole life seeking out criticism so that I could figure out how to change myself. But that hyper-critical behaviour trashes your self-esteem. Sometimes you have to stop trying to work out what other people think of you, and just be yourself regardless of what other people think (within reason). You have to believe in yourself. And I think you do, or you wouldn't be here looking for answers.

    My old therapist gave me this PDF printout, which I found really helpful when I'm feeling down. It's just a couple of simple points about how to look after your mental wellbeing, but it's really good advice:

    http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/St...0Wellbeing.pdf
    All I can say to you is thank you but I'm.... not well right now. Thank you.

Similar Threads

  1. It was not me HONEST!
    By siysiy in forum Adult Babies & Littles
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 06-May-2016, 08:05
  2. Do you think our world is lacking respect and tact?
    By nosuwhide in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 16-Mar-2013, 11:16
  3. going to be 100% honest here
    By MemoriesOfLucifer in forum Greetings / Introductions
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 13-Dec-2012, 05:02
  4. i want your honest opinion
    By littlebear1223 in forum Off-topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 24-Sep-2011, 06:35

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.