July has been a real bad and stressful month for me. I know that I had gotten over a depressive episode early on this year, and for many months, everything was fine. But thanks to July being a super stressful month, many of those feelings while depressed began to creep back in.
I begin to fear relapsing and try and quell all of these feelings and demons as much as possible. Then you get news that a family member is terminally ill, which is essentially a big donkey kick to the face on top of all of that.
I know it shouldn't be too shocking because of old age, but when the family member has had excellent health and took real good care of herself, you just don't think about it and don't have much warning other than the 48 hours they have left.
Feeling worse than ever, and this is a big push in the wrong direction. I'm not sure what to do. At this point, I'm just hoping to ride this out and that this just turns out to be melancholy and that I'm not heading back to that dark place I was in over the winter.