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Thread: I don't know what to do

  1. #1

    Angry I don't know what to do

    I'm a 22 year old male ( 5'6" and 145LBS ) with no known health issues and/or diagnosed health issues trying to get in the Air Force and I still live with my mom ( legitimate one )...I'm trying to get in shape ( focusing solely on running ) mom keeps telling me to push more and more ( I can only do about a 28-minute-2-mile... I have to get to a 13:30 mile and a half though )....but even cutting off 10 seconds at a time is taxing my heart too much ( I have a good breathing method down that reduces the chance at stitches happening )...there are times when my heart rate is going over 180BPM and causes a faint numbing tingle in my whole body...she won't listen too any of my concerns...she is riding too much hope on me getting in the Air Force ( sad thing is that the military is my only choice for a decent job )...I get this feeling that even if I pushed myself too hard and wound in the hospital ( potential coma ) or grave that she would be all that remorseful ( she is getting heavier and farther into the Christian aspect of leaving most things upto GOD )...I just don't know what to do without forcefully ignoring my body's limits and proving myself right and her wrong.

  2. #2


    I think if you feel unable to do, you need to tell the truth to your mother about the extent of your ability, so your mother doesn't force you to do activities that are too heavy. sometimes parents are always impose upon their children that they think it's best for them, though not necessarily for children. I know your parents want the best for you, every parent would be understand their children limitations. So, let's say that in fact what you want to your mother, tell her your ability and I'm sure your mother will understand.

    Children have the rights to argue
    Many parents are not aware that children has the right to hold opinions and parents have to take it seriously. Since it is considered immature, the opinion of a child is often ignored by parents. This often led to opposition from a child to his parents, to cause a problem.

    Listen to the opinions of a children is important to understand the will and desires. Parents cannot force something that the child does not want to do. Things that either parent is not necessarily appropriate for children, because a child is also able to pick and choose what their wants to do.

    To establish good communication between parents and children is important, because a child has a right to express their opinions. By knowing and understanding the willingness of a child, parents can take better-informed decisions as a result of discussions with children.

    (Note: Please write a sentences with good separation and punctuation.)

    May this help you

  3. #3


    You're an adult, you can say no sometimes, especially if it is literally killing you.

  4. #4


    I've tried telling her my limitations...but she just like every Authority figure in my life never believes me unless the facts ( hospital bill or something similar ) are slapping her in the we are barely getting by as it is in terms of food and bills...I'm just gonna have to hope that when I decide to push myself too hard that the consequences on my part aren't too harsh.....sadly I can't do proper sentence/paragraph structure case I'm posting from my crappy iPhone 4s ( iOS 9.3.2 )

  5. #5


    if your mother cannot understand you, I can only give you tips in order to deal with her:

    Say the Apologize word
    First of all you have to apologize to your mother because you don't agree with her. Apologizing is not always used when you do wrong, but when you don't agree with your mother also should apologize. Because there may be some parents who think that the difference of opinion was defiant.

    Choose The Right Moment
    If you wish to express your feelings or opinions on your mother choose the right moment. Choose a moment when your mother were relaxing, when her doesn't in a angry mood. So that your mother can think calmly and objectives of opinion or feeling you can get lost. In this way, maybe she will agree with you.

    Speak With Good
    You must speak well to your mother. Reveal your opinions and describe it clearly. You should not speak highly because it indicates that you are emotional. because if she hear your voice in an angry tone, she might come to feel angry so defiant.

    Give Example To Mother about your limitations
    When you want to express opinions or feelings, give an example to your mother. So that she can understand and recognize what you are expressing. Examples to her so your mother can better understand that your opinion was correct.

    Finding Solutions Together

    The purpose of your discussion with your mother of course is to find a way out or a solution. Discuss the solutions which you have and given by your mother. So that you both can find the best solution.

    Succumbing To Win
    Sometimes parents are always assume that they are the most correct because they've feel the bitter and the sweetness of life. As a child you have to respect that. But believe one day will prove who is right. You or your mother.

    Accept with Relieved Their opinion if true
    If your mother still don't agree with you. Accept it gracefully. Don't let yourself grudge to your parents. Keep smiling, because if we think it is good, maybe someday your mother will approve it. Or perhaps your parents think it's true.

    Because remember buddy, we are also human. Sometimes right, sometimes wrong.

    Say Thank You
    Thank to your mother. If she agree with you, certainly you should say thank you. But if she don't agree to just say thank you because she have been willing to listen your opinions.

    Love the Parents

    Whatever happens still love your mother. Because she are the number one for you. Because whatever your parents must do the best for you and the parents had the instinct to protect and provide the best for their children.

    Last edited by MaxToddler; 14-Jul-2016 at 07:16.

  6. #6


    Max is right that you should make peace with your mom, but again you can't disagree with your body, you can with her, you won't be making her happy in the long run if you end up in a coffin.

  7. #7


    How long have you been working at this to get to the 2 miles/28 minute thing? I mainly wonder because I'm a good deal older than you and although I'm a good walker, I'm not training for anything and I could just manage that (although I'd be a sweaty mess). If you've been pushing hard to get to this point for some time, it might be good to get yourself checked out. If you've just started, you'll get there in due time.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    How long have you been working at this to get to the 2 miles/28 minute thing? I mainly wonder because I'm a good deal older than you and although I'm a good walker, I'm not training for anything and I could just manage that (although I'd be a sweaty mess). If you've been pushing hard to get to this point for some time, it might be good to get yourself checked out. If you've just started, you'll get there in due time.
    I've been training for maybe a couple weeks or so ( almost every morning I do roughly 2 miles )...I just don't know what to do....tea and/or coffee only provides a 2% to 7% effectiveness increase for me...only option I have left is to try and convince my godfather to buy me some health food stuff to make a homemade all natural energy gel ( chia seeds,coconut water,lime juice,organic raw honey,etc. ( problem is that stuff costs around $30 for a weeks worth of half-arsed possible setup for a full week would cost around $85 to $125 ))....I'm just getting depressed over not being able to make my mom happy ( she wants me to be able to shave off around 30 to 70 seconds a day on my 2 mile time...5 to 10 seconds a day is just not good enough for I'm gonna have to hope my godfather can help me supercharge my body with right all natural supplementation )...not exactly how I want to live my life...but my mom is too close-minded to accept me for who I want to be ( just like all the other sheep in society ) I've been living with a fractured facade for the last few years at least...I'll crack and breakdown whenever it's meant to happen.

  9. #9


    Yeah, that's a bit unreasonable; 10 or 15 seconds a week, maybe
    Here's another thought: if you can get through MEPS, you WILL meet standards in Basic Indoc or cadre will know why. Might not be the most enjoyable way of handling it, it is effective. And it would get you away from your mother for a while.

  10. #10


    Surprisingly, there are a number of people here who can help you with the fitness angle. My bona fides: took up distance running in 1970 to improve my endurance for wrestling and help with weight control. Fell away for a bit, then came back to it in my 30's for fun and general health. Since then, a number of marathons and iron distance (2.4m swim/112m bike/26.2m run) triathlons to my credit, along with countless shorter races and trophies to show for it. Learned quite a bit about training, fitness, and physiology along the way.

    A few quick thoughts:

    1. Patience - it takes time for your body to adapt to physical stress and improve. Rule of thumb among endurance athletes is that you get the benefit of today's workout two weeks from today. Getting to your 13:30 goal isn't going to happen overnight. Perhaps a couple months or so.... and its going to take more than 2 miles a day.

    2. It ain't always easy, and it can consume a lot of time. For general health purposes, you should be aiming for a minimum of an hour a day of something that gets your heart rate up. Walking, swimming laps, jogging, cycling, it all works, and it all counts towards cardiovascular fitness. Another rule of thumb, increasing your mileage by more than 10% a week risks injury.

    3. Forget about gels and other stuff for now. They have their purpose, but they won't do anything for your performance at your current level and distance. In fact, unless you're going for hours at a time, you don't really need them at all. More on that later. You DO need to pay attention to hydration. Take on sufficient water to replace what you lose via sweat. You can tell that via the bathroom scale.

    I'll be back later with more. I feel a treatise coming on. However, I'm dogsitting today, and Junior's dog is whining at the door for her walk. I'll be back in a couple of hours or so. She expects long walks from grandpa.....
    Last edited by Maxx; 14-Jul-2016 at 14:07.

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