Hey, you can call me Dosh.
I'm looking for friends and a supportive environment, and perhaps a bit of encouragement from time to time.
I'm 35, and for the first time in my life a doctor told me I was autistic. I've been suspecting as much. I've been called neuro-divergent and ADD since I was a little kid, and part of me has never grown up. That's not just wishful thinking as a adult kid... it's real life to me.
I quit drinking last week, after years of alcohol abuse and not taking care of myself landed me in the hospital with the worst pain I've ever known in my entire life - and I've survived accidents and situations where the vast majority of people do not walk away as I did.
The pain that felt like a spear stabbed through my gut, protruding from my back, and being twisted... yeah, that was Pancreatitis from alcohol abuse. Its serious, I guess. I'm not very good at taking care of myself, to be honest. I am better now than I was. I've gone pretty far down hill since my youth, since the days when I had friends.
However, I've changed my life. Instead of booze, now I'm addicted to coding and addicted to learning all the things I've always wanted to know (robotics, programming, coding, etc etc). Life is looking good again, and worth bettering myself, and I again have belief that I can accomplish a mediocre amount of my dreams. Yet, I'm still scarred (not a typo, and yes, literally, and yes, it's disfiguring), I have no friends, and life is still the train wreck I've made it.
Even though the world has tried to break me again and again, and I've tried and failed many times over to just end it...
... I'm still here. I want life to be awesome for everyone else around me. I had forgotten that to do that, I first had to make life awesome for myself. So, I'm reaching out.