More RE: Solitary REgression as an adult with Autism and Cerebral Palsy

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caitianx

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Right now, I am still in "Adult Mode", and as I have explained before, I schedule my "Adult Baby Regression Times" to be only at "Bedtimes and Nap-times". It is always very important to maintain a psychological balance in order to keep "Adult Baby Regression" in a proper time and place, where it will not interfere with the other parts of one's life as an adult. Permanent regression to infancy emotionally is not practical, and could be problematic, due to the phenomenon of "Psychological/Emotional Engulfment", where one can lose contact/connection with objective reality. I myself am feeling okay, and I am looking forward to regression time at around 1:00 AM, before I fall asleep at around 2:30 AM, safe between my side-safety rails, flat on my back, diapered and lying on a 30" x 36" disposable bed-pad, clutching "Howard Hug", my big diapered teddy bear who protects me every single night from bad dreams. Between 1:00 AM and 2:30 AM, lying on my back, I mutely play with some of my baby toys to cognitively feel good about myself and to alleviate pent-up cognitive/emotional stress as an older developmentally-disabled adult who has to consciously work hard to "function" as best I can and be "independent". Being developmentally and physically disabled is not easy for me, even though I can talk, and I have all my self care/self help skills, it takes a real effort to be "independent". I am so slow now at bathing myself, diapering myself, and dressing myself, and even driving a car that is adapted with hand-controls is not easy for me.
There are so many different sides to me as a person.
Yes, I am an adult.
But I am also an Adult Baby.
I am one or the other at different times of each and every day.
Anyway, not much else to say this evening.


 
The Idea of a scheduled regimen is something I think is semi-unique in terms of littles, (to the degree you mention?) as opposed to acting little when it coincides with wanting to and being able too.

Adding that set time as well shows a lot of strength of will imo

I think it shows an above average awareness of self, more then many non-disabled littles exhibit, not allowing ourselves to slide too far down the regression slide (sorry to be redundant heh)
Its admirable to be able to use that comfort that comes from regressing, and channel it into a strength that can be used in more adult modes.
 
Being a rigid creature of habit/routines as an Autistic person, I rigidly schedule my days in such a way as to minimize surprises and potential triggers for autistic temper-tantrum meltdowns. An example is that I had a 1.0 hour adult medical plastic pail potty chair sit-down time scheduled for this morning from 11:00 AM to 12:00 PM for some necessary "no diaper time", since I am severely medically incontinent 24/7. While sitting on my adult potty chair physically restrained by my "activity tray", I mutely played with one of my Baby Rattles" for that entire hour, while watching PBS's "DINOSAUR TRAIN", and "MARTHA SPEAKS" on my old analog TV in my bedroom. During the day, my younger non-disabled brother and I have an understanding, that the only daytime TV I am allowed to watch as an older mildly developmentally-disabled adult is the PBS KIDS CHANNEL, WGBX-DT, Channel 44, Sub-Channel 4 "over-the-air" out of Boston, MA. I then got myself diapered and dressed, put on my leg braces, fed my pet guinea pig, and then went out in my car over to the Wendy's Burger Joint on NH Route 28 here in Salem, NH, and ordered and ate my exact same food choice there of 2 Jr. Cheeseburgers, 1 Value-Size French Fry, and a "Senior" Diet Soda Pop. That away from home fast food order there has not changed in years.
After returning home, from 2:00 PM to 4:00 PM, I again watch the PBS KIDS CHANNEL, until "Nap Time" from 4:000 PM until 7:00 PM. The only exceptions to mandated Nap Times are those days during each month, when I have to attend disability civil rights meetings in Boston, MA with other disabled adults, and scheduled social night gatherings either in Watertown, MA or Keene, NH's Developmental Disabilities Services Office.
My younger non-disabled brother has said I can not watch any of the daytime talk shows, because many of them talk about very bad stuff, like "which grown-up is going pee-pee into which grown-up", which upsets me and he understands, accepts, and acknowledges that in many ways, despite being college-educated in Electronics Engineering, mentally in many aspects of my cognitive social functioning, "I am still a little boy, not any older than 8 years old", and not mentally mature enough in some areas to partake of and engage in some parts of "adult life".
 
If I had the time I would enjoy an hour of play with baby toys, books. Nighttime would also be baby time, I would love a crib.
But unfortunately adult life takes 30 hours of my day, and I can only enjoy a diaper every once in a while.
 
Today, Saturday the 9th day of July, I spent 50% of my day in Toddler Mode. For a couple of hours, I sat on my adult medical potty chair for "no diaper time" while watching the PBS KIDS Channel. I then switched into adult mode to go out in my car to do a little bit of shopping for food. I then took my nap. Anyway, this evening I am in Adult Mode, and I am watching a History Channel Documentary on DVD. Later at bedtime at 12:00 AM, I will be in Baby Mode to go to sleep with "Pam", my big soft baby dolly friend. Saturday Nights I go to bed earlier to get up at 7:30 AM to get cleaned up, diapered, and dressed to go out to attend worship at my church. Yes, I am a Follower of Jesus. After I return home, I will take a nap, then perform some house chores, and then I will spend the rest of my Sunday tomorrow, quietly playing with my toys before I go to bed.

 
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