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Thread: Arrrggggg Sooo frustrating!!!!!

  1. #1

    Default Arrrggggg Sooo frustrating!!!!!

    Hey Guys And Gals

    So a few weeks back i decided to give up my DL side.
    When i decided this i told my wife of my intentions and that i know i would have difficult days. I asked her if it would be ok for me to tell her that i am battling on those days just so that it was a way for me to cope.

    My wife didnt say much but said it wasnt a problem. I know in her mind she is saying to herself that i am silly to do it. But for me and knowing the memories my nappies give her about our kids when they were babies, it would be for the best. I alos found that my nappies were pushing us apart. Our relationship means more to me than my nappies.

    Anyway, It was going well until i had a bad day and wanting a nappy. Thank goodness i didnt have any in the house besides my cloth ones.
    I told my wife that i am battling. Well i was at the shops when she called me to say that i shouldnt go cold turkey and i should get some for those type of days. I thought this very sweet of her but i told her if i got a new pack ill end up wearing all the time. so it would be best just to work through it.

    The urge went away, but now its coming back stronger, so much so that yesterday afternoon i made the fateful mistake and put on my cloth nappy and plastic pants. kept in on until this morning. I loved every minute. And not having to get up during the night to go to the toilet was a pleasure. Although i had a terrible nights sleep. But it wasnt because of my nappy.
    Now i want them more than anything.

    In fact my wife and i are going to be traveling next week. Flying one way and drive back for two days back home. I have been thinking of asking my wife if i could travel with nappies. I just dont know what to do.....

    I will never give up my marriage for this. Its not an option.

    Arrrrgggggg Frustrations.........

  2. #2

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    It seems as though she's more tolerant of your diaper wearing than you are. I found that I could go for extended periods (years) without wearing but it required accepting that the desires themselves were legitimate and I gave it free reign in my head. That was a kind of self-acceptance but I don't think it was nearly as good as just having the diapers available and knowing I could use them when I cared to (which was generally 0-2 times per week).

    In recent times, I've gotten more comfortable with 24/7 wear and since there's no practical bar to doing so, I've gone on longer and longer stints. I know it sounds like an alcoholic but I really could stop any time with the extended wear and feel no loss (unlike wearing in general). It is enjoyable but it requires conscious effort on my part to keep it going.

    My point in all this is that I think you'd be better off to find some sort of reasonable accomodation with it that your wife can tolerate rather than complete abstinence. This isn't some habit you developed, at least not at its core. It's a drive and finding your center with it has many unexpected benefits. It's possible you won't be able to explore it to the extent you'd like within your marriage but that doesn't mean you can't coexist with it at all.

  3. #3
    MarchinBunny

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    I have to agree entirely with Trevor. In fact, I don't think I could have given any better advice than that XD.

    It could also eventually put you into a bad mood and make you very stressed out and I don't think that is any good.

  4. #4

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    I have to agree as well. I think you need to create a sort of a mental schedule for when it's convenient to wear and when it's not. In a way I do as it's simply based on my weekly activity schedule. Sometimes I don't wear on a day that I could because I don't feel in the mood and that's okay. Like Trevor said, sometimes having a day where you can wear is enough to abate the desire. It's just knowing that you could that turns out to be enough.

  5. #5

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    Just don't buy diapers, just stick to the cloth ones. Keep them around. Quitting anything cold turkey is pretty impossible, not saying it won't happen, but you're not going to get rid of the urges. It's not a drug. It's not a fattening food. It's not beer. It's something that stems from your early humble beginnings. You don't have to change your life. Just control it responsibly. You'll never be completely free from urges to wear. There'll always be some kind of tick. A simple stroll through a store will grab your eyes. There's plenty of commercials on TV and don't forget newspaper ads.

    As others have said it seems she's accepted it. If she didn't, you wouldn't be together. If you want to improve your relationship, that's up to you. You can reduce the amount of times you wear. You can control what you do in a relationship.

    She did fall in love with you, and you are the same person. She may not like the idea of diapers, but she married you and your quirks and you married hers, whatever that might be.

  6. #6

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    Hi all

    Thank you for your replies.

    You all make sense. I accepted myself a long time ago but in the last couple of months I have been questioning myself and trying to, shall we say, reunderstand stand myself. Why I am the way I am.
    Last night I couldn't help myself and put another cloth nappy on. But I did ask my wife first. She said it was fine.

    I think I'm my worst enamy at the moment. Right this minute I'm, like going crazy I want a nappy on an I can't because I don't have any disposables.

    I'm dying to go buy some more.

    What do you guys think of this idea. I have seen it floating around the various forums.
    I thought I would ask my wife to tell me when it time for a nappy and when it's not. The only exception I would like is that I can sleep in a nappy.
    I have said this before on the forum. Every night I have to get up and go to the loo. I hate getting up in the middle of the night.
    If I am able to sleep through, in the morning I'm about to burst..... It even hurts sometimes. Now please don't say I should have that looked at. I have tried all sorts of things to prevent having to get up and go to the loo. But nothing works.
    I have just put it down to my age and my body changing.
    I have worn nappies to bed in the past and did learn to wet and the results were so much better. I got,better sleep and didn't wake up uncomfortable resulting a better day.

    I have worn 24/7 in the past and would love to go back to that. But as you have mentioned this might not be possible. The and place for everything.

    Anyway

    Thanks again for the reply

  7. #7

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    It sounds very much like wearing diapers is both a practical thing for you and an important part of your overall mental balance. And on top of that, your wife understands the need.

    As I understand the issue, the problem is that your wife is disgusted physically by diapers, even though logically she understands the need. And because of that, you're beating yourself up thinking you're doing something important for her.

    So here's my advice: STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

    You're not going to make your wife happy by driving yourself crazy, nor by being miserable every night, sleeping poorly, and considering sneaking around behind her back.

    I also recommend that you don't involve her in any diaper play though. She doesn't really like them, so making her be the one to select them for you is probably a bad reminder.

    Instead, look into ways that you can be discreet. It's really quite easy to put a diaper on as the last thing you do before going to sleep, and many of the medical ones are both quiet and very effective at absorbing nighttime accidents. Then when you get up, you can dispose of the diaper in a covered bin somewhere and be sure you're the person taking out the trash each day.

    It should be possible for you to handle your physical need for better sleep and your mental need for wearing diapers while also keeping the whole thing out of sight and out of mind from your wife.

  8. #8

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by ArchieRoni View Post
    It sounds very much like wearing diapers is both a practical thing for you and an important part of your overall mental balance. And on top of that, your wife understands the need.

    As I understand the issue, the problem is that your wife is disgusted physically by diapers, even though logically she understands the need. And because of that, you're beating yourself up thinking you're doing something important for her.

    So here's my advice: STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

    You're not going to make your wife happy by driving yourself crazy, nor by being miserable every night, sleeping poorly, and considering sneaking around behind her back.

    I also recommend that you don't involve her in any diaper play though. She doesn't really like them, so making her be the one to select them for you is probably a bad reminder.

    Instead, look into ways that you can be discreet. It's really quite easy to put a diaper on as the last thing you do before going to sleep, and many of the medical ones are both quiet and very effective at absorbing nighttime accidents. Then when you get up, you can dispose of the diaper in a covered bin somewhere and be sure you're the person taking out the trash each day.

    It should be possible for you to handle your physical need for better sleep and your mental need for wearing diapers while also keeping the whole thing out of sight and out of mind from your wife.
    I'd say this is pretty good advice. All I would add is a qualifier in thinking: consider your diapers private but not secret from her. Don't involve her but go about your business as needed, keeping it out of her general perception, say on what is probably a similar level with her and anything to do with her period.

    It's not shameful or awful but it doesn't do anything for her, so take care of it yourself. Answer any questions as best you can when and if they arise.

    Lastly, if your age is accurate, there's no reason there for your plumbing to be failing simply based on age. You can see someone or not but I know I'd feel more comfortable getting checked out if it were me.

  9. #9

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    Thanks for the good advise.

    So here is the situation. I won't bore you with the details.
    To be open with my wife I tell I would like to go get some nappies. But only if she is happy for me to do so.
    Before reading the above. I included if she would like to control when and where I wear she can. (My thought behind this is that it would give her some comfort knowing when I am wearing. By doing this there is no surprises)

    She now tells me that if it is something I need, then it's ok and she accepts it. But then goes on to say it make her angry and feels that she is not good enough for me.
    To which I respond saying this is not the case and there is no sustitute for her.
    She is insisting I go get.
    The way I interpret it, is that she is ok with it but cannot stand it. She would rather me be happy and she deal with it.
    For me, how is that a good relationship. Why must one suffer while the other doesn't. I feel very selfish.
    This is what is so frustrating for me. One hand she is with me but in the other she is. For me I need both hands to be for me.
    I don't expect her to be involved but I need her to be very comfortable with it and not cause her any distress.

    So I suppose it's all or nothing. Crap I know.

  10. #10

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    It sounds like she feels as though she is competing with diapers for your love. She wants to be able to fulfill all of your sexual desires on her own without the need for any sort of fettish object. She seems to be trying to compromise because she loves you, but it is just that, a compromise. I would say you are still a long way from resolving this, but at least you are off to a start.

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