Going a little crazy. :)

So wish my wife was more understanding. I gave her a lot of legit reasons why I wear diapers. She wants me to sleep by her in bed and I do as well. I also want to be in diapers at nights, so I sometimes sleep downstairs. She gets grossed out whenever I mention diapers. She still don't know I have been for 4 months. Almost got caught a few times. She has no idea. Oh well. Maybe someday.

My wife is the same way. She is disgusted by me wearing diapers and almost took the kids and left when I told her about it. She has come around a little bit since then and let's me wear in my own private time, but she doesn't ever want to know when I have been wearing. She would rather never have to think about it. She also wants me to keep my stash well hidden so she doesn't accidentally stumble upon it. It sucks that I can't just wear diapers around the house that I pay for.

The way I was able to kind of get my wife to somewhat accept that I like to wear (not that she wants me to and does think it is disgusting, but at least will tolerates it on occasion) is to do extra nice and special things for her while wearing. In bed, this can mean being extra attentive to her "needs" so to speak sexually. I wont go into details, keeping this PG, but there is plenty you can do for her. Do this without expecting anything back. Be extra involved, focussed and unrelentless in your passion to please her. When she had enough and asks, "what got into you"?, say, I get extra excited and crazy for you when wearing (by the way, do this with the diaper on but covered with a boxer so she doesn't know you were wearing at the time, only when done, guide her hand down to feel it on you). Make it about her when you wear, not you. Soon she will realize that diaper wearing is much more than a "disgusting" act. It becomes a bonding to a higher level. Now don't substitute every time she wants to be intimate with you by wearing a diaper. But if you can mix this in slowly and add a bit of extra attentiveness to her needs when wearing, the association will likely become more acceptable. It is when you go full boat and only get "in the mood" when wearing, that this can backfire. Then diapers will surely become a big negative to her. Use discretion, timing, and above all, focus on her, not the diaper wearing. Add it in as that extra special spice in a recipe, not an every time kind of thing. This should lead to a more positive acceptance over time. Eventually she will likely also want to make you feel "nice" after taking care of her. That is when it can be real fun and potentially get her involved with you wearing. Slow and steady wins the race...just don't focus only on you, even if she starts to. It will be a sure way for this to backfire, trust me on this part.

As Barnboy said, you need to really over achieve for her on all fronts, both in the bedroom and out.

For me, It took years for my partner to even consider trying to accept my DL side. As long as they stay and the two of you have a healthy dialogue between you, there is a chance, but never push the issue. Always take into consideration that while being an AB/DL is completely okay, it is very hard for others to understand. As long as you are always striving to be the best person, husband, father (?), provider, and partner you can be, the diapers and treats will follow at some point.

I am nervous about this very issue. My family has always kind of known and they avoid the topic. As for a romantic partner, like a husband (I am str8 female), I think I might too be afraid to continue wearing. It would be nice if your wives could accept you as you are. There is nothing to be ashamed of being ABDL/DL. Most people just don't understand and our community is so closeted there is no movement for ABDL/DL acceptance. I feel afraid to like Bambino diapers on Facebook. I was following dozens of ABDL accounts on Twitter until I found out anyone can see who you follow. Then I discontinued them all immediately.:frown::therethere:aci:

Unfortunately, for most of us, we have to live a fairly secret life. Acceptance by those that don't wear is far away for now. Perhaps one day that will change. It seems we all have to make due with a secretive or sheltered life when it comes to diaper wearing. Getting a mate to accept is a big accomplishment and should not be taken for granted. It still can be a dance though to navigate through a healthy relationship. As always proceed carefully without being pushy and you have a better chance at success.

Thank you all for your responses. It helps to know that I am not the only one going through this.

Well look at the bright side if you stay married till your old and gray and she can't tell you from the sheets anymore, you will both need them and wear them, so acceptance may be along time coming but it will come eventually.i try and find they upside to everything , like I am disabled and in a power chair which could very well suck badly, but my hobby is Amateur radio and the wheelchair batteries when replaced every year because they don't power your chair well anymore are still $ 500 top of the line batteries that will power your radios in an emergency for the next 10 years no problem, so I tell my ham buddies having a crippled guy in the service has its upside in that we all have emergency power stations that other guys only dream off because I get new batteries every year and give the old ones to my buddies for free, so everything somewhere if you look hard enough has an upside.

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Tetra said:

Well look at the bright side if you stay married till your old and gray and she can't tell you from the sheets anymore, you will both need them and wear them, so acceptance may be along time coming but it will come eventually.i try and find they upside to everything , like I am disabled and in a power chair which could very well suck badly, but my hobby is Amateur radio and the wheelchair batteries when replaced every year because they don't power your chair well anymore are still $ 500 top of the line batteries that will power your radios in an emergency for the next 10 years no problem, so I tell my ham buddies having a crippled guy in the service has its upside in that we all have emergency power stations that other guys only dream off because I get new batteries every year and give the old ones to my buddies for free, so everything somewhere if you look hard enough has an upside.

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I love your post Tetra. Keep looking at the positives.
I often try to persuade my wife to wear with me or at least partake in my fantasies while I wear in front of her. Even last night I took care of her and still she wouldn't indulge in my wanting to wear until I "completed" with her. Suffice to say as a DL, I had no interest in wearing after that so she is learning how to counter my attempts at wearing with her involved. When I asked (at what I thought was the appropriate time after a marathon of "her" time) to wear with me and just let go together, she made a disgusted face and said no, "I am not an old person needing that". I just thought the above quote from Tetra was perfect. Eventually we all will likely be in diapers whether you want to or not. I guess some of us just got a fun head start.

So I took everyone's advice. I am happy. I have been extra nice to my wife and trying to help her with things around the house. I told her the truth about my worries and about my stress and what it is doing to my incontinence. And why I feel the need to wear at nights. I also told her I started wearing when I got the flu a few months ago. That flu kept me in bed for 4 days. She is ok with me wearing while we sleep at night. If I wasn't such a deep sleeper I think I would be ok. Im still not got to force it but I let her touch my Abena M4. Im grateful I have her. Thank you all for the advice.

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I think the biggest thing is, I told her I will take her mom with us on vacation to go see my wife's Grandpa and her mom's Dad

Yup. Spoke too soon.

extremecomfy said:

I am nervous about this very issue. My family has always kind of known and they avoid the topic.

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Not to get off topic, but when you say your family has "kind of known" what exactly do you mean? are you sure they know? and if so...how did they find out? Just curious.

-Gus