So, I'm not one for confrontations... But when I was abruptly awoken from a nap by an obviously irritated girlfriend, I was kinda blindsided by her berating me about my browsing history on Amazon.
Mistake #1, I left myself signed in on her computer after she had used my prime account once, but I was beyond mistakes at that point.
Anyways, I had brought up crossdressing to her a while ago, but she immediately attuned it to being gay and liking guys, so I didn't feel comfortable telling her what I was into. Fast forward to today, and she had seen that I was looking at petticoats, stockings, breastforms, chastity devices... You get the picture (not a pretty one, obviously)
So, she starts asking me all of these questions, seemingly hurt that I never brought this sort of stuff up, saying that it wasn't something she could readily accept. After a long discussion on how it isn't about me wanting to be a girl and simply an exploration on how it would feel to be a girl (a sissy/lg, really, but I didn't talk about that...yet) for a short time among other things, we get to a point where I'm finished talking about it and she's finished asking about it. She says she feels hurt and distant now that she knows these things. I feel ashamed, really. I know it's a part of me, but I've always kept it to myself, not telling anyone but you guys about my interests. I'm most of all feeling bad I didn't tell her sooner, as it would probably have been a little easier to digest in a conversation instead of a confrontation.
She wants to make sure she knows everything, as she doesn't want any more secrets now that this is out of the bag (she already knows I like diapers). I could tell her I have a frilly dress, my diaper cover, a pair of white tights, which I'm very reluctant to tell her, let alone show her... I also have a couple play things that aren't your run of the mill play things...one item is 10 inches long and looks like the real thing. I'm not attracted to men, but it could be a bit of a shocker if she saw that I had them. It's for prostate stimulation...
Anyways, I have a lot of emotions going through my head right now, but I guess I needed to say how I'm feeling into words to better comprehend my situation.
If you guys have any input to how I'm feeling, please help. I'm just confused on where to go from here.