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Thread: Help with Persuading Therapists + Parents that AB/DL is not Harmful

  1. #1

    Exclamation Help with Persuading Therapists + Parents that AB/DL is not Harmful

    Summary: Both my two therapists (let's call them M and J, both female) and my mother know, for better or worse, about my AB/DL interests. I see M every other week for an hour at her office and I see J every week for two hours at my home (she is a mobile therapist).

    All three of them are concerned of possible regression and are trying to deter me from engaging in AB/DL and to replace it with more “age appropriate” coping skills (meaning they know that wearing diapers gives me a sense of security and comfort).

    I understand how unusual this can seem to them, and have also told them that I know what it is like to feel like this is very bizarre, abnormal and possibly unproductive behavior.

    When I say regression, they are concerned that once I get diapers, that I would lose my sense of self-control and want to wear more and more. They are concerned about the psychological and physical ramifications of wearing diapers (like continence) and what this might do to my reputation and ability to hold a job.

    I saw M today and she wants me to speak to the psychiatrist this Wednesday about this matter with M present, so that they can help me get over this obsession/fetish/fixation. J recommends that if I am persistent in wanting diapers, that my father should be made aware of this (he currently does not know of any of this). I see her tomorrow.

    Objective: I am looking for any sound advice that my AB/DL interests are not harmful and would not interfere with my cognizance or ability to hold a job.

    I want them to understand that this is a part of my self-expression and identity. It doesn’t define who I am, but denying it as a part of me will only lead to further ramifications.

    Looking for hugs and thank you all in advance for your support,

    Leaf

  2. #2

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    Do you have some kind of history of mental illness that would incline people to worry about what are usually harmless aberrant behaviors? Do these therapists have some kind of philosophical axe to grind (religious is the most common)? I ask because most posters who report on going to therapy have pretty neutral reactions on average. Most professionals don't know that much about us but once they get the gist of it, any concern tends to evaporate.

    The short of it is, there's no intrinsic problem for ABDLs negotiating their lives successfully. The biggest threat is having to deal with the reactions of others.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Trevor View Post
    Do you have some kind of history of mental illness that would incline people to worry about what are usually harmless aberrant behaviors? Do these therapists have some kind of philosophical axe to grind (religious is the most common)? I ask because most posters who report on going to therapy have pretty neutral reactions on average. Most professionals don't know that much about us but once they get the gist of it, any concern tends to evaporate.

    The short of it is, there's no intrinsic problem for ABDLs negotiating their lives successfully. The biggest threat is having to deal with the reactions of others.
    No, not really. They're neutral on pretty much everything else except this. They won't take it face-value as a fetish or hobby and just move on. I myself have Asperger's comorbid with MDD (major depressive disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), but I've been stable and on my meds for at least a year. Family history of bipolar and schizophrenia, but never shown any symptoms myself.

  4. #4

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    Get a new therapist.



    Quote Originally Posted by ChildofLeaves View Post
    they are concerned that once I get diapers, that I would lose my sense of self-control and want to wear more and more. They are concerned about the psychological and physical ramifications of wearing diapers (like continence) and what this might do to my reputation and ability to hold a job.
    Really? I, for one, am a well respected married professional with multiple college degrees and a long history of diaper use (48 + years). I suspect there are many others on this site or ABDLs out in the real world who are similarly successful in their lives. I've also been diagnosed with anxiety disease and seen therapists. Heck, one of my degrees is in psychology. Trevor's last two sentences above say it all. It sounds to me like the "therapists" in your case are really just mouth pieces for your mom's wishes and concerns and don't really know what they are talking about (or not bothering to research it). I think you should think this over carefully. You are old enough to live your own life. More and more younger people these days are living with their parents well into to their 20's and even 30's. I don't see that as good especially if your lifestyle doesn't fit what they want for you. Get out on your own and live the life you want for yourself. I'm not saying get a job just so you can spend all your income and free time on AB stuff. As you said, this is just a part of who you are, not the whole part by any means.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChildofLeaves View Post
    No, not really. They're neutral on pretty much everything else except this. They won't take it face-value as a fetish or hobby and just move on. I myself have Asperger's comorbid with MDD (major depressive disorder) and GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), but I've been stable and on my meds for at least a year. Family history of bipolar and schizophrenia, but never shown any symptoms myself.
    I myself have Asperger's Syndrome.

  6. #6

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    I have to agree: get a new therapist. I'm guessing that's easier said than done, that your parents have set all this up. When I was in college, I had to see a psychiatrist for several reasons. It was 1970 and my mom had discovered both my diapers and gay porn. My shrink was much more concerned about my being gay that he was the diapers. In fact, all he had to say about wearing diapers was that I'd outgrow the desire. Eventually I talked my mom out of sending me.

    I have to agree with Trevor, that most psychologists and psychiatrists aren't alarmed about wearing diapers. Some even support it as a coping method. In my case, wearing diapers was a good sexual release and kept me from doing other stupid, more dangerous sexual things.

    I'm guessing both your mom and the doctors are making a connection between your being Autistic and the desire to move you forward as an adult. They may fear that wearing diapers and regressing is holding back their desire for you to adapt to more adult responsibilities. They may not understand that wearing diapers and regressing isn't a full time, all consuming event, at least for most of us.

    I and other members here on this site don't really know you or how you act at home, so we should be careful with our opinions and suggestions. Depression is a very serious condition, but I must agree with you, that when I'm diapered, I'm always in a better frame of mind. It seems to me that they should give you an opportunity to wear diapers and see if you fair any better. I certainly would. And lastly, I don't like that they are trying to blackmail you by saying, "We'll tell your father." That doesn't sound like very good counseling to me!

  7. #7

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    The only concern my therapist had with my ABDL interests was that I was self-accepting and didn't put myself through any anxiety in feeling like being ABDL made me less of a person.

    So, I agree. I'd get new therapists. Why are they trying to "fix" something that shouldn't be seen as a major problem?



    Quote Originally Posted by ChildofLeaves View Post
    J recommends that if I am persistent in wanting diapers, that my father should be made aware of this (he currently does not know of any of this).
    So... your therapist is deliberately trying to trigger your anxiety by resorting to emotional blackmail? You're a legal adult. Doesn't that make it a criminal offence for your therapist to make your father aware without your consent?

    This sounds like bullying; not therapy.

  8. #8

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    I wont be another echo here as everyone else has pretty much summed up the response I had all ready just from reading the title. Ive seen therapists to deal with mental health issues and while AB/DL never came up I would never place it in a harmful category unless you are doing something to cause self harm. I mean there are plenty of other things you could be indulging in like chronic drug use, alcoholism, self mutilation, etc. that I would worry about a lot more then your choice of underwear.

    It sounds to me like a blanket categorization has been used to cover something they know little/nothing about and because its different then that makes it wrong and therefore dangerous. -_-

  9. #9
    2yearold

    Default

    get a new therapist! under the hipaa laws no health care worker can discuss with anyone else without your signed authority. most dr/ therapist all want to fit you to "normal" if that means drugs or whatever. it the diaper dont interfere with day to day life other than not using a potty what should they care. yes regressing can go too far but if it mess with your day to day life, so get a good therapist to find a balance (is better than any big pharma company cure).

  10. #10

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    Update: I wouldn't go so far as to say that telling my father is blackmail. If I were to get diapers, obviously he would have to know because he lives with me.

    Yes, their main gripe is that I am autistic and they fear full-blown regression. Can anyone think of a type of deal I can offer them to show them that this is not as harmful as they fear it is?

    Preferably within the next 45 minutes because J comes at noon.

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