The Heart wants what the heart wants

*sigh*...Okay so this is the age old predicament of ABDL and many other abnormal(by societal standards) groups. I've always liked diapers and wearing them is just plain old innocent and fun. However because society deems it perverted and wrong I have to face the choice, conform and ignore my heart or giver zero fucks about what others think. Sadly it's not that simple.

I wish I could just be what I want to be, but I've just been conditioned to feel introverted about certain things. People are just so ignorant and unrelenting, as if a male wearing female attire or acting feminine wasn't bad enough for others, although not as much anymore, wearing diapers is still very stigmatized.

Hell maybe it's because I use to beat myself up as a kid because of the image I was suppose to portray just to be a man and eventually I couldn't even cry anymore. Now I look at things with a filter that makes me think "this would contradict the image I represent". You'd be surprised what people do for work on this site, one guy mentioned he was a lawyer which was coo.l That just goes to show you that you really don't know what people do in their private lives. Just imagine if a friend was in a similar group as you e.g. furry, ABDL ect. and you never even knew it.

It's also interesting and very unsuspecting that some of the "manliest" what ever that means, men can be something that totally contradicts the image of a "man".

I really hope most of you can relate to how I feel.

many have said that the more responsibility you carry, the more you long to regress from it.

ArchtopK said:

many have said that the more responsibility you carry, the more you long to regress from it.

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Wow..that just seems so true. I remember that when I was a child I longed to be an adult, but once you get there most of us kinda say "well this shit sucks, I wanna go back"! I often feel like Atlas, carrying the world upon my shoulders....until my back breaks.

LordFluffybuttz said:

Wow..that just seems so true. I remember that when I was a child I longed to be an adult, but once you get there most of us kinda say "well this shit sucks, I wanna go back"! I often feel like Atlas, carrying the world upon my shoulders....until my back breaks.

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I aggree 1000% on this, sometimes I want to be little.

I don't think the choice is as absolute as you paint it. Most everyone makes accommodations with the world in order to function in it. The important part is working out those things that are most important to you and how they can be realized.

If it is very important for you to be a "baby" 24/7, you're probably in for a lot of disappointment as an adult. However, if your desires are more moderate, they're relatively easy to manage, either alone or with others.

Try to nurture all the good parts of yourself, and believe that your ABDL side can be a force for good in your life. Just from what little you've said, it sounds like you're preoccupied with the expectations of others. You don't have to ignore those expectations entirely or publicly to get yourself some satisfaction.

I'm not sure how old you are or your life situation, but I highly encourage you to move more towards accepting yourself for what you want rather than trying to conform to society. The main reason being that you'll always want these things, and there is nothing wrong with that.

From the tone of your post, I'm assuming that you are conflicted about whether or not you can allow yourself to enjoy your fascinations outwardly because of your job description, occupation, or current position in life. Also, it seems like your interests dabble in both AB/DL & sissy? Either that or just girly things? I apologize if I'm assuming the wrong things, but I must say that whether you are a janitor or a high powered C.E.O., it is completely okay to have these feelings and act on them. Behind closed doors, what does it matter what makes you happy? I understand if you have a wife and family it can be tricky, but there are many posts full of fabulous advice on how to approach that.

I myself have a job that one would deem impossible to express myself as a DL or keep my privacy as incontinent, but I still manage to do what makes me happy. Don't get me wrong, we are all still adults and won't be able to fully live out our fantasies, but in the immortal words of The Rolling Stones; 'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need'. The 'need' part is that balance when you find the appropriate times to express yourself and wear diapers etc.

If wearing diapers is your biggest thing, there are plenty of ways to even go 24/7 without breeching your privacy. All you need to do is gain some confidence and you'll find that no one is looking out for you to be wearing diapers. They can easily be.. just kind of worn. Under your clothes, to bed, you name it. Again, there are thousands of posts here on Adisc that highlight great ways to wear discreetly and effectively.

Any way, I think your first step is to build some confidence and try to begin to accept yourself. Wearing diapers, acting like a baby, gender play, whatever it is that makes you happy and gives you the warm and fuzzy feelings is completely fine - and all of us here at Adisc accept you for that. As long as you are appropriate and respectful around others, what's the big deal?

Good luck, friend.

Cloud said:

I'm not sure how old you are or your life situation, but I highly encourage you to move more towards accepting yourself for what you want rather than trying to conform to society. The main reason being that you'll always want these things, and there is nothing wrong with that.

From the tone of your post, I'm assuming that you are conflicted about whether or not you can allow yourself to enjoy your fascinations outwardly because of your job description, occupation, or current position in life. Also, it seems like your interests dabble in both AB/DL & sissy? Either that or just girly things? I apologize if I'm assuming the wrong things, but I must say that whether you are a janitor or a high powered C.E.O., it is completely okay to have these feelings and act on them. Behind closed doors, what does it matter what makes you happy? I understand if you have a wife and family it can be tricky, but there are many posts full of fabulous advice on how to approach that.

I myself have a job that one would deem impossible to express myself as a DL or keep my privacy as incontinent, but I still manage to do what makes me happy. Don't get me wrong, we are all still adults and won't be able to fully live out our fantasies, but in the immortal words of The Rolling Stones; 'You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you get what you need'. The 'need' part is that balance when you find the appropriate times to express yourself and wear diapers etc.

If wearing diapers is your biggest thing, there are plenty of ways to even go 24/7 without breeching your privacy. All you need to do is gain some confidence and you'll find that no one is looking out for you to be wearing diapers. They can easily be.. just kind of worn. Under your clothes, to bed, you name it. Again, there are thousands of posts here on Adisc that highlight great ways to wear discreetly and effectively.

Any way, I think your first step is to build some confidence and try to begin to accept yourself. Wearing diapers, acting like a baby, gender play, whatever it is that makes you happy and gives you the warm and fuzzy feelings is completely fine - and all of us here at Adisc accept you for that. As long as you are appropriate and respectful around others, what's the big deal?

Good luck, friend.

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Yea you're right, I really just need to try to accept myself but it's harder than it seems. Well I supose the worse thing I could do is to stop trying.

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KittyninjaW said:

I aggree 1000% on this, sometimes I want to be little.

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I agree even though I myself am not an AB or Little, I just can't stand being an adult sometimes. Being a child you can just be ignorant of the harsh reality that governs our lives. I wish I could have a child's eyes again just to look through a filter, ignorant of truth even just for a day. Stress kills. If only everything was fluffy and cute could the world be a better place... but instead it's covered in blood and sand.

Sorry I just got reeeeeally dark there.

Sometimes we have to put up a facade when we go into public and hide who we truly are to conform to societal norms. I'm an incredibly introverted individual, and I hide a lot of information about myself, especially from my family. The only thing my IMMEDIATE family knows is that I'm a HUGE gamer, and that I love My Little Pony. My extended family knows I'm a gamer. Everyone else knows whatever I decide to tell them about myself, which is usually nothing. Nobody knows I wear diapers (Well that may not be true, I think my parents may have somehow found out, but they haven't confronted me on it so until that happens I'm just going about my life like normal, plus I'm 22 and legally an adult, so they don't care what I do as long as I don't end up in jail)

When you walk down the street look at everyone you pass. They all live their lives independent of each other. They all have their own story to tell. They all have their own hopes, dreams, wishes, wants, worries, and fetishes. You can embrace who you are without having to show it to anyone else. I used to be so ashamed that I loved wearing diapers, but I realized that this is what I love to do. It's not sexual for me, it's just something I LOVE doing. I use my diapers as they're intended (number 1 only though) and they're just so incredibly convenient, plus the feeling I get of security, like I'm protected and safe while I'm wearing a diaper just brings me comfort.

One of the biggest things you can do is reach out into a community who shares your common interest, and you're already here at ADISC. We will always accept you for who you are and if you want someone you can talk to 1 on 1 with you can shoot me a message.

I see these things as inevitable manifestations of the attempt by others to rule individuals and their existence. It's as good as any start of dealing with this state of affairs head-on. It can be useful to have something that's so important be so shunned by others, because it makes it harder to turn your back on yourself and give in to others.

Figure out what makes others happy and put on the facade that they want, as you would any other unbalanced person who might threaten you for something so trivial. But you have to find genuine people that you can share with as well, whom you don't have to pretend around.

LordFluffybuttz said:

*sigh*...Okay so this is the age old predicament of ABDL and many other abnormal(by societal standards) groups. I've always liked diapers and wearing them is just plain old innocent and fun. However because society deems it perverted and wrong I have to face the choice, conform and ignore my heart or giver zero fucks about what others think. Sadly it's not that simple.

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Gives you hugs (if that's okay) :hug: Teddybears do that.

Fluffybuttz, You are right, it isn't simple. I get everything you have said. You think being a cowboy who likes wearing diapers is something that is going to be easily accepted by his peers? I am sure you have heard the old adage of "Cowboy Up!". It is the same thing as someone saying to not be a child but be a man and not a baby!

This has been an inner conflict for myself for many years. But I eventually came to an understanding that I can still be that masculine figure which is iconic of the west as the cowboy who is rough, tough, and gruff, on the exterior, but inside I am still little. I am not only little, but even "pink" little in that I have realized I also have a bit of a sissy side which if you were to throw that out there to the "Cowboy community" you would find a great lack of acceptance and ridicule over it.

But Fluffybuttz, the fact remains that I am who I am, and you know what? Turns out I am both!!! I don't have to just be one or the other.

I believe that a person doesn't have to conform to the norms of society or become someone other than who they really are. I'm not saying that you can just go out in public and be your complete little self, as that likely isn't going to be a positive thing. But, you can be both the masculine person that your job, your family, or others see you as, and still have the little baby as part of you. It is all about recognizing and understanding the situations you are in and being the appropriate person in both circumstances.

This is possible. :hugs:

You should not be ashamed of who you are or why you feel the way you do even if it doesn't correlate with what others think you should be. Many of history's greatest individuals were not looked upon as "great" by those around them and some even scorned. But time revealed their greatness and they are now held as examples of how society should be.

LordFluffybuttz said:

I wish I could just be what I want to be, but I've just been conditioned to feel introverted about certain things. People are just so ignorant and unrelenting, as if a male wearing female attire or acting feminine wasn't bad enough for others, although not as much anymore, wearing diapers is still very stigmatized.

Hell maybe it's because I use to beat myself up as a kid because of the image I was suppose to portray just to be a man and eventually I couldn't even cry anymore. Now I look at things with a filter that makes me think "this would contradict the image I represent". You'd be surprised what people do for work on this site, one guy mentioned he was a lawyer which was coo.l That just goes to show you that you really don't know what people do in their private lives. Just imagine if a friend was in a similar group as you e.g. furry, ABDL ect. and you never even knew it.

It's also interesting and very unsuspecting that some of the "manliest" what ever that means, men can be something that totally contradicts the image of a "man".

I really hope most of you can relate to how I feel.

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You are not alone. Remember that.

Don't beat yourself up because you feel different than what you "think" your peers might think you should be.

For me, my being little is something I have become proud of and makes me feel that I stand out from being just another clone in the walks of life. It makes me a better and more rounded person. Being little allows me to see things that I think others cannot as they look through adult eyes missing the creativity and innocence of childhood. Looking at things through a little girl side too allows me to understand things that my hardened cowboy side would miss and not truly understand.

There is a greatness in being able to understand things beyond a simplistic perception of one point of view.

I hope that you may be able to find this same understanding and that it may become a strength for you. For I truly believe you are a much wiser and overall better person because you can be more than just the average person. Do not look on this as being negative, but truly, you are more talented, more knowledgable, and more rounded because of it.


:detective3
Teddy Bear Cowboy

I think the great tragedy of mankind is that we desire what we don't or can't have. Kids want to grow up, adults wish to be younger. The forbidden fruit is always the most desired. People with little money believe that money will solve their problems. People with money will often claim they missed out on vital aspects of their lives. A kid growing up in a wealthy family may not experience the simplicity an impoverished child may experience. You don't know what you got till' it's gone. On and on it goes.

LordFluffybuttz said:

Wow..that just seems so true. I remember that when I was a child I longed to be an adult, but once you get there most of us kinda say "well this shit sucks, I wanna go back"! I often feel like Atlas, carrying the world upon my shoulders....until my back breaks.

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I feel the same way I used to think adults had all of the fun. But as I got older I found out that is certainly not the case. I do wish that I could go back sometimes.

when ur a kid you dont have to worry about anything. but as soon as you turn 18 people start telling you how to live your life and it sucks:logicwinsagain:

A fact of life, you can wear diapers your whole life, you can dress up in women's clothing and live like that as well, society might fight you on it, but the one thing you can't do is stay in the same place, life is cruel in that it forces us to move forward, for better or worse you have to move on, fighting that flow is where the real hurt starts.