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Thread: I didn't kill myself but I was dangerously close

  1. #1

    Default I didn't kill myself but I was dangerously close

    Sorry to have left you all in the dark.. but I couldn't get back on the site to update you all. I'm still in a bad place emotionally but I'm fighting it. I hope you all have a great day and I hope I can survive my brain trying to kill me.

  2. #2

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    I don't know if this will help, but I want you to know my intentions are good. I'm a depressed, suicidal individual as well and I understand how hard it is to feel anything outside of those bad thoughts. I've attempted to kill myself once and thankfully for me it didn't work. For me I think about all the people that would miss me, of the person that would find my body and how that would emotionally scar them, of all the things I haven't done but want to do. When I'm in my dark place I go to my friends for help and I know one of them are always there to listen.

    So if you ever want to talk about anything I'm here. PM me anytime hun and if you want I'll give you my Facebook profile so you can add me if you'd want to talk there. Honestly I'll talk to you anywhere! You seem nice and I'd really like to be a shoulder for you if you ever want to talk!

    <3 Sending you only good vibes!

  3. #3

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    Hang in there bud, I know how much of a fight it is, I'm here for cyber hugs if you need them

  4. #4

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    I hope you can find something to do that would bring you some joy. Life for many of us is boring at best. So today my wife and I traveled two hours each way, and we bought a Yamaha N2 digital piano. I've been practicing piano between one and two hours a day and it's given me some purpose. We all need a sense of purpose but each one of us must discover what that is for ourselves, because each one of us is different.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    Sorry to have left you all in the dark.. but I couldn't get back on the site to update you all. I'm still in a bad place emotionally but I'm fighting it. I hope you all have a great day and I hope I can survive my brain trying to kill me.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    I don't know if this will help, but I want you to know my intentions are good. I'm a depressed, suicidal individual as well and I understand how hard it is to feel anything outside of those bad thoughts. I've attempted to kill myself once and thankfully for me it didn't work. For me I think about all the people that would miss me, of the person that would find my body and how that would emotionally scar them, of all the things I haven't done but want to do. When I'm in my dark place I go to my friends for help and I know one of them are always there to listen.

    So if you ever want to talk about anything I'm here. PM me anytime hun and if you want I'll give you my Facebook profile so you can add me if you'd want to talk there. Honestly I'll talk to you anywhere! You seem nice and I'd really like to be a shoulder for you if you ever want to talk!

    <3 Sending you only good vibes!
    I very much appreciate it, don't worry, the more people that care, the better I feel even if my life has really just been beating me down lately. I sent you a message.

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    Quote Originally Posted by caitianx View Post


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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleManAlex View Post
    Hang in there bud, I know how much of a fight it is, I'm here for cyber hugs if you need them
    Cyber hugs are always appreciated

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I hope you can find something to do that would bring you some joy. Life for many of us is boring at best. So today my wife and I traveled two hours each way, and we bought a Yamaha N2 digital piano. I've been practicing piano between one and two hours a day and it's given me some purpose. We all need a sense of purpose but each one of us must discover what that is for ourselves, because each one of us is different.
    Ironically the things that bring me joy I don't want to do because the depression makes me lose interest in them. I fear success because of expectations, I hate being called what I'm not, and I'm always too sensitive. Thing is, I can't really help the fact that bullying and genes caused my depression in the first place. If no one is mean to me for awhile... I start being mean to myself. It's a backwards way of thinking and I'm working on it. Three days ago or however long ago I made that post I almost decided to drown myself in the river and just give up. Something in me clearly wants to stay.. I can't find a reason to live even if I know that I have many. My brain seriously is trying to kill me. I want to live desperately..

  7. #7

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    I've been pretty close a few times, please go talk to someone about it.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    ]Ironically the things that bring me joy I don't want to do because the depression makes me lose interest in them. I fear success because of expectations, I hate being called what I'm not, and I'm always too sensitive. Thing is, I can't really help the fact that bullying and genes caused my depression in the first place. If no one is mean to me for awhile... I start being mean to myself. It's a backwards way of thinking and I'm working on it. Three days ago or however long ago I made that post I almost decided to drown myself in the river and just give up. Something in me clearly wants to stay.. I can't find a reason to live even if I know that I have many. My brain seriously is trying to kill me. I want to live desperately..
    I tried to do that when I was in college, all over a boy I was in love with. I was in the water, swimming out as far as I could. I lived on the water so I was a good swimmer and couldn't do it, so I swam the distance back in, feeling very down. It was a good thing I lived because life improved. It took a number of years, but like the expression, "it gets better."

    Take life one day at a time. Go out for a walk if you can. Do some simple things that redirects your mind. There will be time later when you're feeling better and you can stretch your horizons then.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crinklebuttt View Post
    I've been pretty close a few times, please go talk to someone about it.
    I've been willingly talking to a therapist since I was 15. I stopped at 18 to find a non-child therapist, 19 I found a good one, just don't talk to him as often as I'd like.

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I tried to do that when I was in college, all over a boy I was in love with. I was in the water, swimming out as far as I could. I lived on the water so I was a good swimmer and couldn't do it, so I swam the distance back in, feeling very down. It was a good thing I lived because life improved. It took a number of years, but like the expression, "it gets better."

    Take life one day at a time. Go out for a walk if you can. Do some simple things that redirects your mind. There will be time later when you're feeling better and you can stretch your horizons then.
    Time has never healed my wounds... I think it takes effort and people helping you see you for who you are not for who you think you are, I know I cannot do this alone, "It takes a village" so to speak.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    [...]. I think it takes effort and people helping you see you for who you are not for who you think you are, I know I cannot do this alone, "It takes a village" so to speak.
    I think you have that right! Just watch out for the village idiots
    -Marka

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